Can't stop....

[Lonewolf]

Im writing this to see if i can distract myself from doing anymore s/h!! I started to s/h over 2 hours ago and i just need to do it more and more and more and i don't feel able to stop myself!! The thing is that i need the pain!! Im sorry if this is inappropriate i just wanted to try a distraction to take back some control!! mg:

 

[forgetmenot]

Re: can't stop....

Hi hun good you are distracting yourself Is there anyone you can call hun a therapist anyone. What has set this off hun . You need to throw away your tool you are using and you need to get out of the place you are in ok Turn the music on get a warm bath do something different ok get away from that head space Keep talking here if you want but throw the tool away hugs

 

[adaptive1]

Re: can't stop....

I am sorry you are suffering, I don't self injure but I do know what it's like to have behaviour you feel you can't control. The best thing I have found is to get out of that situation. Go to another room, call someone, leave the house, get into a different environment and do something different to soothe yourself. It's not easy but you can find a way to do it, posting here helps too, others understand.

 

[AmZ]

I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope you managed to stop self-harming.

I've been self-harming since I was 13 and I'm 27 now. Am only now getting the help for it after seeking out therapy. I just wanted to say that I understand the feeling you have when you say you can't stop it.

I've experienced the same thing several times where I'm just 'not happy' with the amount I have self-injured and have to carry on. Maybe your pain is purely that big that is the reason why you're finding it hard to stop. It's a river of emotions constantly flowing. Carrying on and on.

Do you see a therapist? I have found that therapy has helped me get a grasp on self-harming. That much that the last time I did it a month ago, I couldn't even take the pain and had to stop doing it! So there is hope and help out there.

I wish you all the best and urge yourself to be kind to yourself as much as possible. We don't deserve scars and all that nasty stuff. You've got to talk about what is on your mind and what is bothering you and externalise your anger and upset rather than internalise it and turn it on yourself.

All the best.

 

[MHealthJo]

Sorry to hear you are experiencing something that has you feeling these urges. Well done for reaching out in a positive way, that is a great thing to do! And the others have given some great advice.

The only thing I can add is that there are supportive, caring people you can talk to also anytime through services like The Samaritans, Befrienders, etc - google "24 hour helpline" and you will find those kinds of services. They can be a great start for getting positive support at those toughest tines when you might not have other options.

And keep talking to us here or check out the great info on this site.

 

[Lonewolf]

Since the last time i posted on here, there has been nothing that i can do to stop my brain racing with plans!! I need more pain!! Although some other nasty thoughts have been popping up aswell (i don't think they are appropriate for here!!) I tried to call my cpn today, but she was busy! Maybe she's given up on me like i have? I couldn't blame them!! :tearyeyed:

 

[forgetmenot]

Call your cpn back ok and tell this person you need some help now to stop this sh If cpn is too busy then you call crisis line or go to hospital hun. I don't think she has given up on you at all hun sometimes one is just so busy but keep calling ok I hope you go to hospital if you have to and talk to the on call pdoc there or crisis team there
Keep reaching out hun don't give up ok until someone does listen hugs

 

[Lonewolf]

Il have to wait til tomorrow to talk to a cpn, lol! Not sure how to talk to the crisis team, they frighten me!! Im on my own with this tonight! Im going to stay on here for a while if you guys don't mind me doing so! I don't feel very safe to be honest!! sorry if im leaning on you all too much, please tell me if i am being a nuiscience!! :beaten:

 

[forgetmenot]

Crisis team will talk to you hun will be a voice of reasoning sometimes a voice that calms you . You are not being a nuisance hun I am glad you will be seeing your cpn tomorrow Don't be afraid to reach out ok and yes you can talk here just keep yourself busy keep your mind occupied do some Christmas decorating listen to music ok hun
Hugs to you

 

[Lonewolf]

Thanks lol!! I can't focus on anything at all, i have the t.v on, im on the computer, ive got headphones on! Trying to blow the negative out of my head, unfortunately its not working for me! Totally preoccupied with s/h, im doing my best to fight, im just not strong enough!! AAARRRGGGHHH!!!mg:

 

[forgetmenot]

No you are strong hun try getting outside ok away from tool of harm hugs

 

[Lonewolf]

thanks lol! :distress: I need to go now, but thankyou ever so much for spending time talking to me!! It means alot!! I hope we can talk again soon!!:uncomfortableness:

 

[forgetmenot]

Hun please hun promise me you will stay safe ok NO sh ok go outside hun go for a walk feel the air ok please

 

[Lonewolf]

its dark outside lol! Im sorry i just cant fight these urges! the s/h makes me feel better! ive let you all down!!!

 

[forgetmenot]

No you have not let us down
Im sorry you had to harm yourself i wish you just picked up phone and talk to someone crisis someone

---------- Post Merged at 11:24 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 08:33 PM ----------

each time we hurt ourselves hun we let them win. We let the ones that caused all this pain win again

 

[adaptive1]

I find the best thing to do is have compassion for yourself when you do some self defeating behaviour. If you don't you will be more likely to do it again. Come up with a plan of what to do when the urge happens again.

 

[Lonewolf]

Thankyou for all your kindness, it brings tears to my eyes and i have a heavy feeling in my heart! I appreciate it so much, it just hurts deep inside to hear such kindness!!!!!