Challenging Your Loneliness

[Daniel E.]

Challenging Your Loneliness
by Robert L. Leahy, PhD

• If you're feeling lonely, it may be that your depression is distorting your thinking and making it seem as if being alone is all bad. Take a look at your assumptions about being alone.
• Do you think it's too hard to meet people? It's much easier than you imagine.
• Do you think that if you're alone, you have to be sad? You can challenge those thoughts and transform your time to yourself.
• Do you think only losers are alone? Being alone is just a situation; it doesn't mean anything about the person. There are wonderful people who are alone. You may be one of them.
• Do you imagine that you can't do things that you want to do if you're alone—like going to a restaurant or a movie? Try it. You can do anything you want, even if you are by yourself.
• Shed your stereotypes about the Internet—it's a great way to reach out to people who share your interests and want to connect.
• You can build your own community. Connect with a cultural organization, a hiking group, or a book club; a church or synagogue; or a volunteer organization that needs your help.
• Animals are great companions (and getting involved with a shelter can be very rewarding). There's a pet out there that needs you!

excerpted from: Beat the Blues Before They Beat You: How to Overcome Depression

 

[defect]

What if you are quite happy to be alone all the time, but according to the assumed standards set by our society and communities, being alone is not part of a happy and balanced life? What about the contentment of being alone and it's potential for being a crutch for avoiding friendships and relationships of any kind?
Personally, I have a lot of online friends, made up of people I used to physically spend time with, and people whom I've never met before.
I think that my sobriety has led me to believe that I don't have the social skills, or that I am awkward and insecure if I am in a situation where someone shows an interest in becoming my friend.
I realize, however, that this perception is the reason I avoid human interaction, basically at all costs. That in itself does not seem too mentally healthy to me, but I, being an only child, have always been pretty happy being alone. At least as long as there is a kitty nearby. :cat3:
Maybe I'm over thinking this and it doesn't really matter.

 

[Daniel E.]

according to the assumed standards set by our society and communities

OTOH, the ability to have a large degree of privacy -- of having a room, let alone an entire home, to oneself -- is relatively recent in human history.