• Quote of the Day
    "You are much deeper, much broader, much brighter than any idea you could have of yourself."
    Harry Palmer, posted by Daniel

sister-ray

Member
Joined
Oct 9, 2005
Messages
2,017
Points
36
For the past few months I have been coping, sometimes struggling doing shopping on my own since loosing all my help. Ive worked hard to get into a routine and minimize the anxiety I feel when out, to go at times when its not so busy and just recently have been a little more settled with it. Today I found out that the supermarket is being taken over by another company and as of 23rd June they are closing for three weeks maybe more so the place can be refurbished, this has set me panicking a bit as there is nowhere else in my high street to do the big shopping, it also means my routine that Ive just got into will go out the window again and then when the new shop opens I will have to deal with a completely different layout/products and staff,, Im trying to stay calm about it but am finding it hard, I really didnt need any major changes like this at the moment. Ive worked really hard to keep my head above water doing the shopping and Im feeling quite angry too at the shop for closing down at this point and at the other shop for not opening straight back up, if that makes any sense. It feels like I will have to start all over getting use to the shop and I scared of all the anxiety that might happen in the process. Im trying hard to think postively about this and that it wont be that bad but negativity keeps creeping in and thats causing anxiety. if anyone has any suggestion they would be appreciated. Thanks!!
 

David Baxter

Administrator
Joined
Mar 26, 2004
Messages
38,051
Points
113
This is where using the Mood Log and CBT can be really important, TTE.

Start by listing all of the negative thoughts about what's going to happen that are causing your anxiety to increase (or other negative emotional reactions).

Then challenge each of those. As just one example, this one stands out for me:

then when the new shop opens I will have to deal with a completely different layout/products and staff

What makes you think any of those things will actually happen? And especially, what makes you think that ALL of them will happen? I would suggest that a new look and layout is the most likely. However, many or most of the staff will probably be the same. And while there may be some product changes/substutions, the primary thing that drives product selection in any store is what people in that specific area want to buy, so I wouldn't expect massive changes in that area.
 

Halo

Member
Joined
Jul 19, 2005
Messages
7,475
Points
36
TTE,

I am sorry to hear that the store is going to be closing down for a period of time and that this has increased your anxiety. I do think that using the mood logs help, or they have for me in the past. A couple of things that came to mind when reading your thread were:

  • How often do you typically do your shopping?
  • Is this just a grocery store or a department store/grocery store combined?

If it is mainly for groceries, do you think that you could stock up for a bit on some non-perishable items to get you through so you do not have to go to the other store as often?

Also, I know you use to do some of your shopping online and was wondering if there are any of the other stores that have online groceries (there are some that do) that would be easier than having to go to a new store.

What about your friend that you have, does he know what is happening and do you think that he would be able to help you out by taking you maybe once a week or so to another store to get what you need.

Anyway, those are just some thoughts that I was having but either way I can understand that this must be quite a shock and can definitely see why your anxiety would be spiking.

One last thing....when do you see your therapist again? If it is before the closing of the store, maybe you could speak to her about it and gain some additional perpsective on this. Not to say that we are not here for you anytime though :heart:

Take care
:hug:
 

sister-ray

Member
Joined
Oct 9, 2005
Messages
2,017
Points
36
This is where using the Mood Log and CBT can be really important, TTE.

Start by listing all of the negative thoughts about what's going to happen that are causing your anxiety to increase (or other negative emotional reactions).

What makes you think any of those things will actually happen? And especially, what makes you think that ALL of them will happen?

I have filled in a thought challenge sheet from the course I mentioned, Im trying use the little I have learnt so far. I know these things will happen because I asked a manager at the store today for the facts and then when I got home I emailed the company that is buying the place from the 23rd and they have confirmed it all. Different layout and products, the current store is a cheap store run more like a warehouse , the new company is a up market store, more expensive stuff, organic stuff,, they did say some of the staff will remain but others will move to other branches. So this is not just me assuming,, I have got the facts as they are at the moment. They are taking over three weeks to refurbish it it will be totally different.
 

David Baxter

Administrator
Joined
Mar 26, 2004
Messages
38,051
Points
113
Okay. But try taking it further, then, TTE:

Are you catastrophizing in your "predictions" of how well or poorly you will be able to cope with the changes? Are you focusing only on the negative options or possibilities and ignoring the positives? What about the possibility that a change from the old warehouse format to the new format will actually make it easier for you to shop when it reopens?
 

sister-ray

Member
Joined
Oct 9, 2005
Messages
2,017
Points
36
Nancy,
Just missed your post we posted the same time. I shop twice a week, its a combined place, sells everything. I have brought extra this week and will till it closes in the hope I can last it out. I did online once or twice and dont like it, minium spends and delivery charges and not being able to pick your own fruit and things its not what I like!! I have spoken to my friend and he has said he will help if hes around, he works away sometimes, Ive also spoken to my EX social worker and she said she may be able to bring me a few things in, but Im not allowed to go with her. I see my therapist Tuesday and will discuss it with her, thanks for your reply:hug:

David,

This is all about me thinking its all going to go wrong because it has before, and I hate change too unless its slow or prepared for. Someone I was just chatting to on IM said that they think it will be better, like you said and also that this store sells quality stuff that doesnt go off just after you brought it, also better service as they are a up market store, Im just seeing the bad and negative of it all shall have to go away and think on this one.
 

Retired

Member
Joined
Aug 17, 2005
Messages
8,965
Points
36
Someone I was just chatting to on IM said that they think it will be better, like you said and also that this store sells quality stuff that doesnt go off just after you brought it, also better service as they are a up market store,

TTE,

These sound like good reasons for optimism...better quality products and better service from the staff.

I wonder if gradually exposing yourself to the new store might help in reducing the impact of the remodeled place when it opens.

Perhaps you might want to visit the place during the time they are refurbishing to become accustomed to the changes little by little. That way you could imagine yourself going to the new store before actually going the first time.

Is this a way that might help ease the anxiety?

I was equating your experience to when I had to give presentations to large groups, which was an anxiety provoking situation for me. To prepare, I would visit the room or facility where the presentation would take place, and go through the motions of the presentation.

When it was time for the presentation, the environment was familiar and easier in which to work.
 

Top Bottom