My sister was playing with her 5 year old Goddaughter when the 5 yr old touched my sister in her private place. My sister asked her where she learnt that from and her and the little girls expression and demenour changed. She went into lying mode. My mum, my dad, then finally my uncle. Who we do not believe to be all that stable. We tried to question her about it again asking her where her uncle touched her she pointed to her private parts. After that we tried to get more out of her and her story kept changing. Finally she outright denied that he touched her there at all. Should we be worried?? Please help
- Thread starter Kiara
- Start date
David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
It isn't unusual for young children to be curious about other people's bodies, perhaps especially adult bodies -- when you think about it, they are curious about everything else... why shouldn't they be curious about the usually hidden parts of other bodies? It would be more surprising if they were NOT curious. It's often adults that have a problem with it and consequently overreact, and I suspect that this is the case here.
The reaction of your sister probably alarmed the child, alerted her to the fact that in your sister's eyes she had done something "bad". The questioning that followed would only reinforce her belief that she had done something "teriibly wrong" and it's hardly surprising that she became confused and tried to scramble to find a story that would satisfy your sister and end the "interrogation". That's the most likely explanation for going into "lying mode", in my opinion. I would also note that "lying" for a 5 year old child isn't anything like adult lying -- she isn't trying to deceive, just to please her interrogator and not "be bad" anymore in her eyes.
I would suggest that unless you see any evidence of behavior that is unusual for a young child you should not be jumping to any conclusions about her being molested. And if you do see any evidence that you think is unusual, do NOT question her about it -- take her to someone who is an expert in child victims and who knows (1) what to look for and (2) how to ask the correct questions without planting suggestions in the child's mind that things that didn't happen happened.
The reaction of your sister probably alarmed the child, alerted her to the fact that in your sister's eyes she had done something "bad". The questioning that followed would only reinforce her belief that she had done something "teriibly wrong" and it's hardly surprising that she became confused and tried to scramble to find a story that would satisfy your sister and end the "interrogation". That's the most likely explanation for going into "lying mode", in my opinion. I would also note that "lying" for a 5 year old child isn't anything like adult lying -- she isn't trying to deceive, just to please her interrogator and not "be bad" anymore in her eyes.
I would suggest that unless you see any evidence of behavior that is unusual for a young child you should not be jumping to any conclusions about her being molested. And if you do see any evidence that you think is unusual, do NOT question her about it -- take her to someone who is an expert in child victims and who knows (1) what to look for and (2) how to ask the correct questions without planting suggestions in the child's mind that things that didn't happen happened.
Kiara
It is not a easy thing im busy going threw it now.Ipickt a few things up to look for,how do she eat now,sleeping order the same.do she wet her bed.do she funny stuff with dolls and lisen carefully what she is tellingyou but dont asked to mutch out look and she if her behaver is diffrend now with serten people.The best you can do is to take her to a child counsler in who line it is.if it is so then youl need hard proof and thats very difficult.I think of you.
It is not a easy thing im busy going threw it now.Ipickt a few things up to look for,how do she eat now,sleeping order the same.do she wet her bed.do she funny stuff with dolls and lisen carefully what she is tellingyou but dont asked to mutch out look and she if her behaver is diffrend now with serten people.The best you can do is to take her to a child counsler in who line it is.if it is so then youl need hard proof and thats very difficult.I think of you.
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