Complete recovery?

[Ashley-Kate]

hi everyone,
i know i am being extremly motivational lately but i couldn't help but wounder if recovery is really possible in my case and in many others with eating disorders. I know it may sound pessimistic but is it realistic to think that i could ever be completely "cured" of this? i disorder that has been in my life ever since i can remember at the age of 11 already started skipping meals. even now i still have a hard time when i am alone. If i am with my family no problem i eat "enough" for someone that is starting to learn how much is not enough.

when i am alone i just let go i go back to my restrictions and purging without really thinking that i should stop. I am currently spending most of my days with my brother and sister in law sleeping over at there place often enough because when i am at the dorm i just don't seem to be able to do anything to eat properly i spend the day sitting on my bed sleeping or reading books and meal time just doesn't come automatically. i don't know is it okay to think that i may just one day be able to eat " enough" and that be as cured as i can get..

could i have reached some extent of having this eating disorder be a chronic problem. it is hard for me to imagine being "better" even now when i think of being better i think of being able to eat without thinking of purging! i haven't really even thought about the restrictive part of me ever being gone.. i still maintain my vegetarian lifestyle which i am pretty sure came with the ed and was not really a decision to be vegan but more to restrict. but a part of me feels the need to preserve that in some way defining myself still through the e-d is that pathetic,, is that okay,,, i am confused myself!

will recovery for me be living a life as a vegan and always wanting to reach perfection yet fighting the urge to do so...

 

[Jazzey]

Re: complete recovery?

Hi Ash,

I feel as though I've been monopolizing your threads lately. I guess I just really connect to what you're saying and can't help but respond...I've never been someone who's purged. Rather, I restricted my intake -drastically. I spent about 15 years doing this. Dropping to a very unhealthy weight.

I wish I had the magic answer for you. All I have is my experience. When my health started deteriorating, and with the help of my doctor, I started reversing the process (ie- taking in enough calories to sustain me for the day).

I can only give you words that are rooted in my own experience - any eating disorder, I think, requires you're being present; you're wanting to be healthy and you're being willing to make the right choices for yourself...

There's nothing wrong with being vegan - as long as you do it in such a way that you're not harming yourself Ash. If, for the time being, you need to stay safe by being around family members, please do so. We all have our own tricks. You will be the only one who knows what works for you...listen to that inner voice that tells you how to stay safe from your ED.

:hug:

 

[Halo]

Re: complete recovery?

I absolutely do think that recovery from an ED is possible and I really like what Jazzey said here:

I can only give you words that are rooted in my own experience - any eating disorder, I think, requires you're being present; you're wanting to be healthy and you're being willing to make the right choices for yourself...

Keep up the good work Ash :2thumbs:

Take care

 

[Ashley-Kate]

Re: complete recovery?

but is it possible to want to be better but not completly to remain partly in the ed...

 

[Jazzey]

Re: complete recovery?

Yes Ash - it's a daily struggle. I still struggle with ED at times. But want more for myself and so try and *let go* (if you know what I mean) - of those urges, to focus on what's healthy for me.

Every day, you have to choose to make the right choices for your recovery...Again, I'm not saying it's easy, but I know you can do it.

Here's a site that's helped me in recent years:

Dietitians of Canada

It's the dietician's site for Canada. Again, feel free to lean on me when you need to Ash... I'm here. With the site that I posted, I try and meet the recommended portions of all the food pyramid. There's a food journal there that enables me to see whether I've eaten all of the necessary nutrients for the day, if I've consumed enough water etc...