Concerned for Godmother

[poke598]

I am very concerned for my godmother. About a year ago, she began to act differently. It wasn't until the beginning of March when my mom (they are childhood friends and grew up together) went to visit her that she found out. When she arrived at her home (4 hour drive), she found out from her daughter that she was admitted to the hospital. She had a doctor's appointment and for some reason the doctor ordered her to go to the hospital. She stayed in there for a few days, but felt she didn't belong there. My mom visited her several times but said she seemed normal. By the way she is about 53 and doesn't drink, but she smokes. When she came home, my mom noticed that she would occasionally lose attention in the conversation and stare out the window mumbling to herself. My mom got very scared for her over a few days as she has never done this, and would try and get her attention. The thing is, a few seconds later she will be normal. She got a CAT scan a few weeks ago and the results came back with nothing. Her doctor prescribed her something for schizophrenia, manic depression, bipolar depression, etc. but she told my mom she ripped it up. I'm not sure whether she realizes that she is doing this or not, but she just came to visit us for a week last night. She seemed completely normal, until today when I got home from school. Her and my mom were in the kitchen, and she was pacing around, looking out the window and mumbling to herself incoherantly. This was just in the last 15 minutes. I said hi to her. Normally she would give me a friendly greeting in exchange, but this time she just looked at my feet and walked away. Then she went downstairs and looked out that window mumbling. I was trying to hear what she was saying, but couldn't. Her and my mom just left to go shopping, and I am getting very nervous around her. Does anybody have an idea what is wrong with her?

Another thing I would like to add is that she divorced a few years ago, and her 28-year old daughter just moved out a few months ago with her boyfriend and dog, so she is alone in the house. Her visit here might help her condition but I'm not sure. She would also get very frustrated with things like her computer not working properly. When her cordless phone started to go dead, she once said to my mom "Oh no, they are doing it to me again". My mom tried to resassure her that it's just the battery, but I found that strange.

I just tried to get close to hear what she was saying. She made a tea, and sits down at the table, moving this rubber duck that is on the table. She stays for about 20 seconds, gets up and walks to the window, mumbles something (sometimes profanity), and then sits down again. Rearranges the duck, gets up, it's like a loop. Goes downstairs, looks at the computer screen, mumbles something, comes back sits down. Moves duck. Each time she moved the duck she slammed it down. I also heard her say cash a few times in the mumbling. She even does it if I'm right beside her. Yet can carry on a conversation with my mom.

Just now she walked to the window, mumbled and slammed down the duck. Then walked to a chair, and slammed down the cushion. I heard the words "f***ing stupid" fairly loud.

Now she is starting to scare me. She went to the window and said "What a bunch of f***ing assholes" a number of times. Sometimes saying idiots in place of assholes.

She also was hearing drums and voices while in the hospital.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Poke, it's hard to be definitive about what is happening to your godmother based on what you've observed. One thing is clear: she is experiencing some loss or distortion in her perceptual-cognitive capacities and I would guess that there is a delusional aspect to her thinking. The fact that she tore up her prescription isn't surprising but is worrisome.

If there is any way that you or your mother can get her back to the doctor, I would recommend it. The coctor may be able to have her admitted to a hospital for observation where they could better determine what is going on.

 

[ThatLady]

Yup. This poor woman definitely needs to be hospitalized for awhile. If she's tearing up her prescriptions, she's obviously unable to help in her own treatment. She needs to be in a controlled environment where medications and therapy can set her on the right track.

Good luck to you, your mom, and your godmother. This isn't an easy thing for any of you to deal with. (

 

[HA]

Welcome Poke!

When we see people acting in bizarre and strange ways it can be upsetting and make us nervous. She needs to get back to the doctor and hopefully the doctor can help her. You can't make sense of bizarre behaviour such as what she is doing or what she is saying so don't bother trying.

There is no need to be afraid of bizzarre behaviour but if she is acting angrily by swearing and slamming things then let your mom know that this scares you and talk to her about it. It's good to be supportive but you don't need to stay with her if she is swearing and banging things or otherwise acting angrily.

I hope your Godmother gets medical help soon.

 

[poke598]

Godmother!

I just found out some shocking information about her now. After 2 months of seeming to be returning to normal, she is back in the hospital. I am informed that she thought there was a bomb in her cat. She drove far away to an empty field, threw the cat in the field, and went home. She also threw her live goldfish out the window one day.

 

[ThatLady]

I'm so sorry, poke, that you're having to go through this. I'm also sorry for your mom, and for your poor grandmother. Hopefully, with the proper help, she'll be able to overcome whatever is causing her difficulties. In the meantime, hugs to you, hon.

 

[ThatLady]

I'm so sorry, poke, that you're having to go through this. I'm also sorry for your mom, and for your poor grandmother. Hopefully, with the proper help, she'll be able to overcome whatever is causing her difficulties. In the meantime, hugs to you, hon.

 

[HA]

Re: Godmother!

I just found out some shocking information about her now. After 2 months of seeming to be returning to normal, she is back in the hospital. I am informed that she thought there was a bomb in her cat. She drove far away to an empty field, threw the cat in the field, and went home. She also threw her live goldfish out the window one day.

Psychosis can be episodic. People have what are called relapses where they are well then become ill again.

Your Godmother was having a delusion which made it seem very real to her that there was a bomb in her cat and so taking it far away to a field was her way of portecting herself and others from the bomb. Something similar probably happened with the golfish.

It is shocking and sad too. Poor kitty and goldfish. Did someone get the cat?

You are learning a lot about brain disorders, poke598.

Hope she is getting help for her psychosis.

 

[HA]

Re: Godmother!

I just found out some shocking information about her now. After 2 months of seeming to be returning to normal, she is back in the hospital. I am informed that she thought there was a bomb in her cat. She drove far away to an empty field, threw the cat in the field, and went home. She also threw her live goldfish out the window one day.

Psychosis can be episodic. People have what are called relapses where they are well then become ill again.

Your Godmother was having a delusion which made it seem very real to her that there was a bomb in her cat and so taking it far away to a field was her way of portecting herself and others from the bomb. Something similar probably happened with the golfish.

It is shocking and sad too. Poor kitty and goldfish. Did someone get the cat?

You are learning a lot about brain disorders, poke598.

Hope she is getting help for her psychosis.

 

[poke598]

I have discovered yet more information. She has since sold her house and moved an hour away to a new place. Everything seemed to be back to normal for a month or so. I talked to her on the phone a few times, and she sounded perfectly fine. She asked us if she could come and visit when December starts. She was about to go back to high school to take a hairdressing course, and she seemed to be getting her life back together. Apparently she has a wedding to attend in the area and will be here for 2 or 3 days. Anyway, when she moved to her new house, she bought a new computer, and switched to a new ISP and tried to get rid of everything she could. That is another thing I noticed. She keeps trying to get rid of anything from her past, like her computer, cat, fish, email addresses, internet service providers, etc. She called me to help her set up her computer. I tried to guide her through it, and she would get angry over little things and raise her voice. She was trying to type Internet Explorer into her start-up page and I tried to explain that you can't do that and it must be a website. She already knew this because she has been using the computer for a few years now. When trying to register a new Hotmail address, something went wrong and she had to resubmit it. She was convinced that someone was hacking into her computer. I believe she said something like "Someone's trying to hack into my fucking computer, I know it." I told her that I doubted it as she just got her new internet connected a day before that. Anytime she has any trouble with the computer, she gets all riled up and will start yelling about the same guy who keeps hacking in, using a lot of swearing, which is not her normal character. Before all this, she was a calm, nice person to be around her whole life. I doubt the whole hacker thing but she always blames this same guy. Most of the time on the phone, there would be long pauses for minutes at a time while she tried to figure things out on her own. I eventually got her signed up to MSN Messenger with her new email address, and she was happy. After getting off of the 3-hour phone call, she gave me a quick thanks, and we disconnected. She has been calling my mom and they talk back and forth, sometimes at 2 in the morning while we are sleeping. When my mom asks her why she's not sleeping in order to get up for school, she says that she doesn't have to go and they let you come and go whenever you want. Recently she has been complaining about messages on her computer and her tv. She claims "They're back". My mom has tried to tell her that she believes her, but that she needs help and she usually just yells and hangs up in response. She will call more than 3 times per day and complain about these things she sees. She claims she saw that same guy's name and address on her computer, yet I haven't seen her online since weeks ago when I set it up for her. She just removed MSN and turned off her computer for days, thinking that will solve the problem. She also bought a bird, I don't know how long that will stay alive before she gets rid of it too. As far as she's concerned, there is nothing wrong with her. For the last week she hasn't been going to school, again claiming that you can come whenever. I'm really concerned now.

 

[ThatLady]

I can certainly understand your concern. She was in the hospital, you'd said before. What happened there?

It sounds to me like she needs to be hospitalized again, perhaps for a longer period of time. Even if it has to be forced on her, it really needs to be done. She must be stabilized and that can't happen until she has professional help and control with taking her meds, etc.

Please keep us informed, hon. I know this must be awful for you and your mom.

 

[poke598]

After selling her house and moving in to a new one with all new furniture and new cable company, etc. (basically forgetting her past), she called here 2 weeks ago and asked if she could stay here for a few days, but she never came. She called again yesterday and she said that she had to discuss "something serious" that she can't say over the phone and she'd be here tomorrow. I haven't talked to her since then. Also, for the last few months I have had a lot of hangups from her, sometimes even 4 or 5 per night. She would call and ramble on about how they are coming to get her, and the computer was giving her messages, and when my mom would tell her that she doesn't want to talk about it, she would say "ok, fine!" and hang up, calling back later in the night. What should I do? I don't know if she is coming here or not. She refuses to believe that is ill, and she will not get help. Another thing, when she was asked about school, she just said "oh, that fell through". That leads me to believe that she simply stopped going.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Sadly, there may not be a lot you can do until or unless she comes to see you. If at that point, she seems disoriented, you could try to have her admitted to hospital for observation. The only other thing I can think of is if you know the name of her doctor or psychiatrist you might try to call him/her to relay your concerns... emphasize that you're not asking the doctor to disclose information but simply letting them know that you are worried about her state of mind.

 

[poke598]

That has already been done. I tried to advise the doctor that something more is wrong and that I'm very concerned for the safety of her and others, but he will not discuss anything to do with her. My mom even went with her to the doctor and he wouldn't say anything. I've been in touch with her daughter and she seems very low-key about the whole thing as well.