Confused. Is this just anxiety?

[moonriver]

I am sorry to bother you guys again, I am going to see my Doctor soon but I dont want to be a hypochondriac either plus who wants to bring up embarassing symptoms, especially when you fear being embarassed. I feel like I have some strange symptoms but it could just be anxiety. Lately I am very anxious about a lot of things going on in my life and I started having alot of obsessive thoughts. I tried to go back to my original therapist but I started obsessing about going and the sessions that I had in the past, so I didn't go. Now I feel like my mind is playing tricks on me. Like I go for a walk and I pass everyone in the street, I look up I expect to be my therapist. I thought quiting therapy would help me stop the obsession and worrying if I took the focus off of it, but it hasn't, it is every minute of the day now. I do actually feel a lot less physically anxious and that part is a lot better, I have spent alot of time around people because I have been working on my own self help program and exercising. Still, I still cant get these thoughts out of my head and the images either now. I have not had prior history of anything other than my shyness, but last year I did start having alot of repetitive thoughts. I dont know why I am bothering you all again, I know you cant diagnose me, I am not asking for that, but I am just scared that there is something more wrong with my mind. Maybe these are just normal symptoms of anxiety and an overactive imagination that will go away if I try and ignore them?

 

[Into The Light]

it sounds more like preoccupied thinking than anxiety, unless you are anxious and worrying that the people on the street will turn out to be your therapist. is that the case?

 

[moonriver]

No, its not really that. I dont know what it is and I cant figure it out either. I really dont know what it means or if I should try to analyze it or not or why my brain has latched on to something like this. Perhaps it doesnt mean anything at all but it is really annoying.

 

[ladylore]

I have experience with what your talking about Moonriver. It is annoying and I am glad you are talking with your doctor.

The obsessive thoughts and paranoia went away I thought for good but they started to return about six months ago. I would get a bit of a reprieve but not get a solid foothold and then it would start all over again.

I tried dealing with it myself and in therapy (never letting on how bad things were) but it finally culminated in suicidal feelings that I was afraid of. That is when I finally laid it all on the line with my therapist and my doctor. It helped, man did it help. I now have been on 20mg Prozac for the last couple of months. Not only has it taken care of most of the depression but also the obsessive thoughts and the massive mood swings (mainly rage and dispair).

I am not telling you that medication is the way, but it may be something you want to bring up with your doctor. I was amazed that one little pill could take care of so much.

Try to remember that the obsessive thoughts aren't you - and it is treatable.

 

[moonriver]

Thank you ladylore, yes, it probably might be time to consider medication, if only to get a mental break from what is tormenting me so much. Thank you for sharing your story.

 

[ladylore]

My pleasure.