Constantly Paranoid over Relationship

[Freckles]

I have lived with anxiety all of my life. While what I have been anxious about has changed over my life it is now spiraling out of control.

As a young child I would confess unwanted thoughts many times a day, wash my hands after touching anything from church etc. Now these things have followed me into my adult life. I now have anxiety over my relationship constantly. I feel the need to question my spouse almost daily about past relationship concerns.

It's like I forget if I have asked him a certain question and it plagues me until I am able to release the question, get an answer and of course relieve the anxiety for a brief moment.

The problem is, this doesn't relieve it all together. It will come back within an hour or reproduce itself into another worry related to our relationship.

No one has been able to help me on other forums. I feel like I'm going insane and I am having a really bad paranoia day. I am trying really hard not to follow my pattern of asking questions. I'm seven months pregnant and I just can't handle the stress anymore.

Any help, support or advice is greatly appreciated!:thankyou2:

 

[Daniel E.]

:welcome:

I haven't read this book, but it seems relevant:

If This Is Love, Why Do I Feel So Insecure?

In any case, a low tolerance of uncertainty is a big issue with anxiety in general. CBT can help with that. Most people with anxiety do not get enough therapy (as is the case with depression as well.)

Some related articles:

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/anxiety-and-stress/19081-uncertainty-fuels-anxiety.html
http://forum.psychlinks.ca/anxiety-and-stress/20330-accepting-uncertainty-to-end-your-worries.html

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/anxiety-and-stress/10151-life-is-good-so-why-cant-you-stop-worrying.html
http://forum.psychlinks.ca/anxiety-and-stress/20158-mini-lectures-on-how-to-handle-your-worries.html

 

[Freckles]

Thanks, Daniel for taking the time to post these for me.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Freckles, have you ever talked to your doctor or a therapist about this? These worries you describe sound a lot like obessional thinking and you don't have to continue to be plagued by them. There are both medications and behavioral or cognitive-behavioral options for at the very least managing them.

 

[forgetmenot]

Hi Freckles Being pregnant it must be hard as well dealing with emotions being all over the place. I too have a tendancy to keep repeating the same statement over and over or asking the same question over and over. It drives the person i am doing this too totally crazy. I have found Cognitive Behavioral Therapy helpful and also medication for anxiety does help as it takes the edge off my irritability abit. I would talk to you GP and see what he says what you can take being pregnant you have to be careful there. Therapy is the best i have found though as i am given skills on how to reduce this repetitive questioning
Talk with GP okay don't keep going like this as there is help . take care.

 

[Daniel E.]

I feel the need to question my spouse almost daily about past relationship concerns....

The problem is, this doesn't relieve it all together. It will come back within an hour or reproduce itself into another worry related to our relationship.

BTW, an excerpt from one of the articles:

"No matter how many times the person answers yes to the question 'Do you love me?' it doesn't do any good. A worrier thinks, Is he only saying that to make me feel better? Or, What if he changes his mind tomorrow?" Leahy explains. "They're so intolerant of uncertainty that they'd rather be sure that something isn't going to work than endure not knowing what is going to happen."

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/anxiety-and-stress/10151-life-is-good-so-why-cant-you-stop-worrying.html

 

[Freckles]

Thanks for taking the time to reply, doctor David. I have an upcoming appointment with my OB and I'm going to ask her to refer me to a therapist. Your statement gave me hope that he or she may be able to help me to led a more normal and happy life. My father had a dibilating mental illness and after seeing him live with it all his life I've been kind of afraid to speak up and get help. I have a successful writing career and a great family. And I often fear that letting others see "inside" would bring about a stigmata. So this really helped a lot. Thanks!

And Violet. Thanks for the outpouring of support. It helps a lot to know I'm not alone and that others go through this too. Thanks for taking the time to share your story and lend me a supportive ear. I know it's not easy to be open and honest about these things so major gratitude for you sharing so freely! Thanks!

Daniel, thank you for pointing this specific paragraph out for me. That certainly sounds point-on. Thank you for being so helpful and offering me so many great sources of information. I've saved them to my favorites so I can go back and read them when the going gets tough. I greatly appreciate you taking the time to do this! Thanks!

Big thanks all around!