Could it be the end?

[David Baxter PhD]

I called the health unit. Nobody answered so I left a message. I wish I could think like you do. It is so hard to think positive when everything around is negative.

Yes it is. Iit takes effort and practice. But here you have several minds brainstorming solutions instead of just one.

I wish my doctors didn't abandon me when I moved. I had my psychiatrist for 8 years and my family doctor for 11. How can they just drop you as a patient when you move? How can they not care at all? I keep thinking about what I am going to write in my suicide note. If I can't pull out of this I want them to know that if they had been there it might not have happened. It kind of gives me a bit of pleasure when I think about it. I know how wrong that is, but I would want them to feel like it is their fault. Thay have made me suffer enough, they should have to go through something. It just isn't fair. I never did anything wrong to anyone and this is what I get.

The anger/resentment you feel is understandable but you are not helping yourself at all by thinking about suicide notes. Everything you are going through right now is temporary and driven by anxiety and uncertainty. That old saying about suicide - a permanent solution to a temporary problem - applies 100% to your situation. There is a solution for you that does not involve ending your life. It just may take us some time and creative problem-solving to find it.

 

[Kathleen]

Thank you. I am just so scared. I don't know what to do anymore.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I know. New town. Far away from everyone you know. About to start a new chapter in your life. I'm sure you feel like you're facing this all alone and that can be scary at any age.

However, you do still have people back in your former community, I expect, and you are gradually creating a new social and support network in your new community and here. No doubt this will accelerate when you start your college program in another 10 days or so.

What are you taking?

 

[Kathleen]

I will be taking veterinary sciences.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Oh, excellent. That should be very interesting and challenging.

 

[Retired]

How can they just drop you as a patient when you move?

Kathleen,

How far away from the place where you were receiving care from a psychiatrist and family doctor? Have they specificaly said they would not see you any more, even if you returned to that place?

What are the chances you could travel back to the place where you were being seen by your psychiatrist and family doctor for medical care?

I agree that setting up a new medical support network when moving to a new community can be challenging, and will require some resourcefulness on your part. You will need to continue calling, following up and asking each place you call if they have a waiting list policy, and can you get on that waiting list.

Is there a teaching hospital within a distance that you can travel? Are there any walk-in clinics? What about clinics staffed by physicians who travel from other (sometimes distant) medical centers?

 

[Kathleen]

I moved 9 hours away from where all my supports were. There is only one clinic within 3 hours of here and it is a family health team clinic. Only peaople who are already a patient of one of the doctors can go. They will not see anyone else. There are doctors that come here from the south, but they are only to fill in at the clinic and cannot see anyone who isn't already a patient. It is such b/s. Clinics should be for people without family doctors, not ONLY for people who have a doctor. The Canadian health care system really sucks.

 

[Retired]

Kathleen,

Have you tried communicating with the local office of the Canadian Mental Health Association:

Cochrane Timiskmaming Branch/Kirkland Lake Office
5 Kirkland Street East
Kirkland Lake, ON P2N 1N9
Phone: 705 - 567 9596
Fax: 705 - 567 5211
cmhatmsk@cmhact.ca

 

[Kathleen]

I have a CMHA worker, but I hate her and can't talk to her. She doesn't believe in talking things out, she only believes in doing things (art, exercise ect.) to take your mind off your problems. The Health unit called back and I am done. I can't do this anymore. I am so depressed right now. I just want to curl up in a ball in the corner and die. My counsellor froom back home called me today too and basically told me I was screwed. I just can't do this anymore. I wish I had someone to call and talk to, but I don't. There isn't even a crisis line in our area. I called the closest line (5 hours away) and they even refused to talk to me because I am not in "their district." I can't do this. I just can't.

 

[forgetmenot]

crisis lines are for everyone doesn't matter what location you are in. Did you ask this person for a number you can call when in crisis as you need help. Keep talking here okay venting
You have a doctor at home still a GP that can help you with your medication. I also believe some universities have a doctor connected with the school so when you start make an appt right away to see such doctor or health nurse in the school okay Hang on school will start soon there will be councillors there to help you as well

 

[Kathleen]

I have no doctor at home anymore. The school has counsellors, but no doctors or nurses. It is a very small school. I am scared if I call a different crisis line they might send the cops out for me if I am honest with them. I am a mess right now. I did call the CMHA again and left a message with the intake worker. I told her I really cannot talk to the worker I have and really would benefit from a different one, but I doubt she will do anything. As I recall, her and I had this conversation before. What I really need is someone to manage my meds. The ones I am on have NO repeats (not like they work anyways) and they are done in 2 days.

 

[forgetmenot]

CMHA has a pdoc working for them for people like yourself with no pdoc to go to. The pdoc there can reorder your meds for you even if you and her don't seem to get along It is up to her to help you in these situations if you allow her too. Again go into the emergency room with your med bottles and tell them you need repeats and have no doctor now since you move there tell them how unstable you are. The oncall pdoc will reorder meds for you as well. So if the police come and take you to hospital you will get the care you need there call crisis line and get help you need now. Don't wait until your brain is not functioning okay do it now

 

[Retired]

Kathleen,

Right now you need to set some priorities.

The first is to work on getting repeats for your medications. As has been said, the only resource available at this moment is your local Emergency Room at the hospital. You need to go there, and wait, even though it may take a long time. By doing so, you will be seen eventually, allowing you to explain your situation to the doctor on duty, and ask for your prescription renewals.

You might also ask your pharmacist if s/he can get you in contact with a doctor who can help.

Second, despite your differences with the CMHA worker, you need to maintain the one resource you seem to have in your new community. I understand you may not agree with this person entirely, but until you can establish yourself, and find someone new, you would be doing yourself a disservice to sabotage the one resource you already have.

We know there are shortcomings in the medical system, and we all have to figure out ways to work within the system we have. It's not ideal but it is what we have right now.

Do what you have to do to get your prescriptions renewed, continuw with the CMHA worker and at your school make contacts with the counselors they have available.

Call the crisis line for support locally; crisis lines are not in the habit of sending police out after callers unless there is evidence of an imminent crime being committed.

Focus on your priorities, taking one at a time and do not think about the next one until the first one is accomplished.

 

[Kathleen]

Nobody ever told me that CMHA has a doctor that works for them. I do need to call someone, and I know it. I did call once tonight and they told me I wasn't in "their district". I think I brought this up already though.

You are right. I have to set priorities. I really appreciate you putting all that out there. It is so hard for me to think or focus on anything right now. I so desperately want to get out of this hole I am in. I really can't stand this feeling of emptiness and pain inside of me. It is so draining. I am going to call my worker in the morning and ask if they have a doctor I can see, and if not I guess I will have to go sit at the ER. I think I am going to go take a few sleeping pills and just go to bed. At least there is no pain when I am asleep.

 

[Retired]

Kathleen,

In what area of Ontario are you actually located? We've seen references to Kirkland Lake, but it isn't clear to me where you are. Perhaps by knowing that information, we can search out further resources in an attempt to point you in a direction.

If you feel you don't want to disclose that information in open Forum, feel free to send me a Private Message.

Have you spoken to your pharmacist for some suggestions? Pharmacists are the ones who know the comings and goings of doctors in a community and can sometimes be helpful resources to find a new doctor.

 

[Retired]

Kathleen

I telephoned:

Temiskaming Hospital
Well Women Clinic
Shephardson Road
New Liskeard ON P0J 1K0
Phone: (705) 647-8121

this morning, and they confirmed that if you came to the Emergency Department today, you would be seen by a doctor who would review your prescriptions. They recommended the best time to be seen is early in the morning ar about 7:00 am when the waiting time is usually shortest. However, if you see this today, Friday Aug 27, the receptionist said they were not busy and you could be seen with minimal wait.

They did not recommend coming after midnight for a prescription renewal, because the doctors are asleep and are wakened only for life threatening emergences, so early morning is best.

Hope this helps with your priority #1, which is to get your prescription repeats updated.

 

[Retired]

I am told the following crisis line number services the area in which you live Kathleen:

(888) 665-8888

 

[Kathleen]

Thank you so much Steve. I never had anyone try to help me as much as you have, and I don't even know you. You have no idea how much that means to me.

I called CMHA and talked to the intake worker who set me up with the other worker. I explained my situation to her and she made an appointment with me today. (I can open up to her) She suggested we go up to the hospital to get some meds sorted out. She came with me because she said if I had an advocate with me I wouldn't need to wait in the waiting room and the doctors would listen more. She helped me talk to the doctor and he wanted to admit me. Luckily I talked my way out of that. He put me on a new med, but it is bubble packs and I have to go every week to get a refill. Not too happy about that. At least I am still at home. It was a really close call.

I will try that number you gave me. Thank you ssooo ssooo much! This could be what ends up saving my life.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

That's progress for sure, Kathleen. Well done.

 

[Retired]

Thank you Kathleen, for your kind words. I am so happy to hear about the way you have taken charge of your situation and have made progress.

As David mentioned a while back, having a number of people brainstorming often helps to find a solution that might work.

The fact that you will be returning to refill your medications may have a hidden advantage, by making you more familiar with local health care providers, and with time as you establish a rapport with them, it might be easier for you to access their services.

When I spoke to the nice lady at the reception desk at the hospital earlier, she suggested that although the local doctors may not have an open door to all new patients, that sometimes, by repeated calls to the doctors receptionist, you may get a foot in the door. May I suggest that in doctors' offices, the receptionist carries a lot of weight, and the attitude of the caller has a lot of influence on whether you get in the door or not. A lot of politeness and compassion when speaking to one of these hard working (usually) women works better than anything. You know the old saying about getting more with honey than with vinegar.

There are many factors that determine when and if a doctor opens up the practice to accept new patients, so by letting a receptionist / secretary /nurse in the office know you would like to become a new patient can put you on a waiting list.

Your persistence and determination will pay off with time.

It sounds like it was indeed a good day for you today, Kathleen. Here's wishing you many more.

Do keep us posted on your progress.