Depression speaking or clarity?

[Cat Dancer]

I don't feel nearly as depressed as I normally do which is good, but I've been thinking this is going to be as good as it gets and I feel pretty clear about that. And it's not very good. I think I'm pretty worthless and can't do anything right. But is this still depression speaking or is it actual truth and clarity about my life? I am still struggling with day to day life, day to day tasks and being unable to keep up with things is making me feel like I'm hopeless. But I don't know what is true and real? I've really been learning in therapy to ask myself about my thoughts and if they're true or not. Sometimes it's too confusing though.

---------- Post Merged at 05:40 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 03:56 PM ----------

Maybe the depression isn't real and I'm making it all up for attention? Maybe the world isn't real and this is all a bad dream? I hope so.

---------- Post Merged at 05:53 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 03:56 PM ----------

I think a big problem I have is being isolated. I feel like I don't know what reality is and isn't. And it's partly where we live (very rural) and partly my anxiety that keeps me away from other people. So I feel like I don't know what is real. Or maybe something really serious is wrong? I am scared of losing touch with reality.

 

[rdw]

I do think we have to accept good days and bad - accomplishing tasks, not beating ourselves up emotionally when our thoughts tell us that we are not good enough or should be doing more. Making up depression - I don't think so as it's not that much fun! Though if it makes you feel any better I have been accused of that. So is there something you could do to make your life less isolated in the rural community in which you live?

 

[Cat Dancer]

I'm not sure. There's not much to do here.

 

[rdw]

Is there a mommy and me group for you and the kids? What about a library or a book club?

 

[Cat Dancer]

We do go to the library sometimes.

I don't know about much else. I need to look around I guess.

 

[rdw]

I live in a rural area as well. In the fall there are always a few general interest courses starting up. This weekend I am taking a photography course. I also signed up to take a Spanish course this winter. Activities like this just help to keep me busy and stop me from focusing on negative thoughts.

 

[Cat Dancer]

I'm just so uncomfortable with myself, in my own body that being with other people is very hard. I don't know how to be comfortable with me.