Dilemma..What would you do?

[sunset]

I am making plans with a friend of mine to take a trip to the Grand Canyon this May. I am concerned about my anxiety issues and part of me is screaming to not go and stay home.. I always have wanted to see the Grand Canyon and want to go.

Should I push through the anxiety and plan the trip, or should I bow out now before any arrangements (flight, hotel, car) are made?

What would you do?

I did discuss with therapist and he wants to get to the bottom of my anxiety.. I do too, but I dont know if it will be resolved by then..

I love to travel, but often dont like "getting there". Same thing coming home, I just like to get home as quickly as possible..

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Can you plan tentatively for now? or plan in such a way that the financial commitment is minimized?

A lot of times, anxiety is about feeling trapped and helpless, as much as or more than the actual event. If there's a way to plan with a potential "exit" from those plans if you find that your anxiety is overwhelming, you may find that you can avoid a lot of the anxiety because you know you're NOT trapped and that you have options, even up to the last minute or even after the trip begins.

 

[sunset]

If it was just me then I could do that. A friend of mine is meeting up with me and she lives in a different state, so its not fair to her to call it off last minute if I get cold feet for some reason.. If it was just me, then I could make tentative plans and then cancel if I needed too. She already got the time off of work, but I am sure that would not be a problem to say the trip was cancelled..
Plus, I always worry if I will get sick with a bug or a cold or something. Does anyone else worry about this stuff?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Does anyone else worry about this stuff?

Yes. I have a few clients who do the same.

 

[poohbear]

I worry about that stuff, too. Maybe you could pay a little extra to get "refundable" tickets. That way, you can still get your money back. Or maybe plan a trip that's a little closer to home first. Then branch out, after a few successful ventures.

 

[sunset]

Hi Poohbear.. I normally am not like this and have vacationed many places before, even further than the Grand Canyon. I have gone by myself even and had no problem..
Just latetly with this anxiety, it seems to be an issue. I will look into a refundable ticket though and see what the difference is. Thx for that idea, I never thought of it.

 

[Daniel E.]

so its not fair to her to call it off last minute if I get cold feet for some reason..

What would she do if she wasn't going with you? If she was just going to stay home, then she may willingly take the risks of cancellation, especially if the tickets are refundable.

Plus, I always worry if I will get sick with a bug or a cold or something. Does anyone else worry about this stuff?

I think that's part of the appeal of travel cancellation insurance or refundable tickets.

BTW, from an interesting article:

It could be that simply planning a vacation buffers current stressors...

..."The best part of travel is also the worst part of travel," Loewenstein said. "Both stem from its inherent unpredictability. We never know what's going to be around the next bend, which can make travel much more exciting than daily life: Anything can happen. But, that's exactly the problem and the reason so many find travel terrifying: Anything can happen."

...Other than satisfaction, the most important factor in vacation well-being is "to have enough time for one's self and one's needs," said Strauss-Blasche. "When vacation does not have this quality of self-determination, vacation satisfaction is low and vacation outcome poor. Vacationers need to think about what they would like to do during vacation, what their own needs and wishes are, and not believe they have to conform to some 'holiday standard' or the travel agency's ideas."

..."If a trip turns out to be miserable, you can always chalk it up to a growth experience."

APS Observer - Vacation: Not What You Remember

 

[ladylore]

Hey Sunset,
Reading the thread and I guess the question I would ask myself if I was in your position is "Do I really want to go on the trip?" If the answer is yes that you really do want to go then you may want to do some research before you go about getting to the airport, choosing an appropriate seat (if you have enough money booking business class for more comfort ) Also checking out the area you are staying in, etc.

I am like you, its the getting there that is most of the problem but once I arrive I love vacations. Its a grand adventure and sounds like fun.

:hug:

 

[Halo]

Sunset,

You say that it is the actual travel of getting there that brings on the anxiety and I was wondering whether you anticipate the anxiety starting with the drive to the airport, the flight and then the drive to the hotel or is the anxiety more just about the flight itself?

I know that you have spoken with your therapist about medication lately but if you are having anxiety about flying, there are many people that take medication just for flying to help calm them during the flight. This may be an option for you as well.

 

[Daniel E.]

I always have wanted to see the Grand Canyon and want to go.

As some others have suggested, I would focus on that

In my experience, using Google Earth increases my desire to travel, e.g.:

Grand Canyon -- Sightseeing with Google Satellite Maps
http://earth.google.com/sites/images/grandcanyonx600.jpg

 

[sunset]

I postponed my trip for now to the Grand Canyon. I talked to the friend who was going to go, and she is fine with waiting. I told her I am working on my anxiety with the Dr's help, so I am still hoping to be able to go. But once I called it off, I felt so relieved..
This is WEIRD! I WANTED to go, so what the heck happened to me? I dont understand anxiety/panic disorders..

 

[Cat Dancer]

I don't understand anxiety/panic disorders either. I can relate to your feeling of relief. I've done things like that too and tried to make the best choice I could at the time, if that meant postponing something then that was for the best. And remember, you're just postponing it, not cancelling it. One day you'll get there.

 

[sunset]

Thanks Janet, but I feel when in doubt, dont do it.. at least for now. I didnt want to wait till arrangements were made, and money was involved so I felt under pressure from that. At least my friend isnt out any money, and can reschedule her vacation time..
I am going to get there, but it has to be when I think I will be able to go, without lots of anxiety..
In the meantime, I need to find a way to deal with these, and I am sooo glad to be seeing my therapist again.

 

[ladylore]

The vacation spots should still be there when your ready to travel out again Sunset - all in good time - no rush.

 

[sunset]

The vacation spots should still be there when your ready to travel out again Sunset - all in good time - no rush.

I said the same thing about the World Trade Center..

 

[Halo]

I said the same thing about the World Trade Center..

That was a situation that was beyond anyone's control. I have to say that I highly doubt that the Grand Canyon is going anywhere. It will be there when you are ready and one day you WILL be ready.

Take care
:hug: :hug:

 

[sunset]

I know Halo. That line just brought me back to the last time that was said.. Just sad is all..