Could anyone advise me of my situation. I met a guy in college 5 years ago. I felt an immediate connection with him and enjoyed his company over the year I was there. However, I was seeing someone whilst in college and I think he was too. After our exams, we didn't keep in contact but 4 months later I met him by chance in a Bar and we exchanged emails. For the next few months we used to meet for a few drinks usually with another mutual friend from our class. He then got moved abroad for 2 years with his work. Again, we used to exchange emails and when he came home meet up for a drink.
He got transferred back home in 2003 and we used to meet up every second weekend. He bought a house and things moved on. In Nov 2003, we did kiss , after a heavy night of drinking..but after that he seemed really on for the 2 of us to give it a go and regualarly wanting to meet up and stuff. Things were fine until Christmas 2003 and then he had to go abroad again for 3 months. He came home a few times but I think things regressed. I just didn't think he wanted to move any further with us. When be came home in April, he didn't contact me and I actually thought he was dead. I did ring him after 2 weeks and he told me he was fine. We arranged to meet up and have been doing that since. I fould his behaviour very peculiar over the summer, stopped drinking, only wanted to meet me for a hour. I have tried on numberous occassions to raise the subject and eventually he told me he has depression and is going to a Councillor. I thought ok, will leave him be. Over last 3 months though, he is always wanting to meet me, if he hears I am out with others, he always wants to know the details and so and on. I met him last Sunday and plurted out 'I liked him and are we going to move with this relationship' He looked stunned and said he thought we were friends.. I said if he said nothing in next minute, I was going and never wanted to see him again....I walked off. I sent him an email the next day as I felt I didn't give him a chance to say anything and we met last Saturday. I wanted him to explain why he didn't want more than friendship..He said he can't believe I would give up a friendship with him and was really angry over this, he has a lot of personal issues, hence the Councillor and anti-depressants. He can' t commit to anything more but doesn't want me with anyone either, which confuses me even more. The night was so weird as he said he was not rejecting me, but what does he want? . I wanted to go home and he asked me to go for one more drinks which i did...on the way home I asked again was there any future and he said no. He said 'what do we have in common anyway?' He then wanted me to go back to his house to fool around but I refused to go...we kissed and then I left...as I got into taxi, he said 'don't hold out much hope for me.. ' I am quite shy and had to pluck up the courage to say what I said.. It is a week later now and I am refusing to make any contact with him (he too must be thinking the same as he hasn't contacted me) He knows I like him and I am absolutely devastated by all this and I can't belive he doesn't want me or want to contact me. I am 34 now and all my friends have settled down..I really feel I am alone. I really want to get in contact with him but everyone is telling me not to. I am so upset and just don't know what to do.
He got transferred back home in 2003 and we used to meet up every second weekend. He bought a house and things moved on. In Nov 2003, we did kiss , after a heavy night of drinking..but after that he seemed really on for the 2 of us to give it a go and regualarly wanting to meet up and stuff. Things were fine until Christmas 2003 and then he had to go abroad again for 3 months. He came home a few times but I think things regressed. I just didn't think he wanted to move any further with us. When be came home in April, he didn't contact me and I actually thought he was dead. I did ring him after 2 weeks and he told me he was fine. We arranged to meet up and have been doing that since. I fould his behaviour very peculiar over the summer, stopped drinking, only wanted to meet me for a hour. I have tried on numberous occassions to raise the subject and eventually he told me he has depression and is going to a Councillor. I thought ok, will leave him be. Over last 3 months though, he is always wanting to meet me, if he hears I am out with others, he always wants to know the details and so and on. I met him last Sunday and plurted out 'I liked him and are we going to move with this relationship' He looked stunned and said he thought we were friends.. I said if he said nothing in next minute, I was going and never wanted to see him again....I walked off. I sent him an email the next day as I felt I didn't give him a chance to say anything and we met last Saturday. I wanted him to explain why he didn't want more than friendship..He said he can't believe I would give up a friendship with him and was really angry over this, he has a lot of personal issues, hence the Councillor and anti-depressants. He can' t commit to anything more but doesn't want me with anyone either, which confuses me even more. The night was so weird as he said he was not rejecting me, but what does he want? . I wanted to go home and he asked me to go for one more drinks which i did...on the way home I asked again was there any future and he said no. He said 'what do we have in common anyway?' He then wanted me to go back to his house to fool around but I refused to go...we kissed and then I left...as I got into taxi, he said 'don't hold out much hope for me.. ' I am quite shy and had to pluck up the courage to say what I said.. It is a week later now and I am refusing to make any contact with him (he too must be thinking the same as he hasn't contacted me) He knows I like him and I am absolutely devastated by all this and I can't belive he doesn't want me or want to contact me. I am 34 now and all my friends have settled down..I really feel I am alone. I really want to get in contact with him but everyone is telling me not to. I am so upset and just don't know what to do.