Do we really change?

[sun_after_the_rain]

Hi Readers,

In the last 7 years, since i was diagnosed and underwent different treatments, until now, i believe i have changed a lot.

How? I am now happy to share worries or feelings with other people, i initiate conversations with people, i try to forge relationships with people, i am more curious in other people, and feel much better about myself. Just some examples.

But when i run into people who haven't seen me in years they say- "you've changed".

Initially i think, of course i have..i am nothing like i used to be.

But then i think, maybe they just didn't put in the effort to get to know me then, am i really 'different' or am i pretty much the same person who has 'come out of their shell' a little more?

I feel they're making judgements too- if they sound pleased when they tell me this- did it mean they didn't like the 'old me'?

 

[lallieth]

Hi
I don't think that anyone is making judgments when they tell you that you have changed.They probably see that the treatments you have gone through the changing,has brought out the best in you

Think of it this way...these people notice a change in you,which should tell you,that they were paying attention to you and they did get to know you enough,to see what changes have been made over the past 7 years

If someone you meet tells you again "you've changed" smile and say "yes I have and I feel great,thank you"

 

[ladylore]

Hi Readers,

In the last 7 years, since i was diagnosed and underwent different treatments, until now, i believe i have changed a lot.

How? I am now happy to share worries or feelings with other people, i initiate conversations with people, i try to forge relationships with people, i am more curious in other people, and feel much better about myself. Just some examples.

But when i run into people who haven't seen me in years they say- "you've changed".

Initially i think, of course i have..i am nothing like i used to be.

But then i think, f*** maybe they just didn't put in the effort to get to know me then, am i really 'different' or am i pretty much the same person who has 'come out of their shell' a little more?

I feel they're making judgements too- if they sound pleased when they tell me this- did it mean they didn't like the 'old me'?

Sounds like you have done some great work. I have also had people that I haven't see in a bit tell me that I have changed. To me its a compliment. And the truth is so have they - because we all do. I really don't read it as a judgement on you.

:2cents:

 

[Into The Light]

i think they may actually be happy for you when they say you've changed. they see you're feeling better simply by how you are interacting with people. i would be happy for someone too that i remember as being maybe withdrawn or depressed and meeting them and seeing them doing well and looking happy it doesn't mean they didn't like the old you, it just means they remember you as being less happy than now.