Don't Know How To Accept This

[Always Changing]

Thanks David,
I guess I should have worked that out for myself.. :facepalm:Is there any examples of this? that you are aware of?

sorry to butt in on this thread, I do have genuine reason for asking though.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I'm not sure what you're asking, AC. Do you mean are there any examples of DDNOS? or in general of NOS diagnoses? in my practice? or anywhere? or do you mean online descriptions of DDNOS or other NOS diagnoses?

 

[Always Changing]

are there any examples of DDNOS? online descriptions of DDNOS

both I guess.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Dissociative Disorder NOS – Symptoms and Causes – Treatment of Dissociative Disorder

Symptoms of Dissociative Disorder NOS:[/B]

• Disconnection from environment
• Disconnection from identity or personality
• Amnesiac states such as in Dissociative Amnesia
• A feeling of being in a dream like state or in a movie
• Anxiety or panic attacks
• May also exhibit mood disorders like depression or bipolar disorder
• Out of ordinary wandering or traveling
• Loss of certain memories or awareness of self
• A sense of “absence”

How to Explain Dissociative Disorder--Not Otherwise Specified (DD-NOS) | eHow.com

People who suffer a severe trauma might wrestle with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). If a person experiences ongoing and severe trauma, particularly if the trauma began when the person was a young child, he might develop an even more severe dissociative disorder, with the most extreme disorder being Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Because a child is creating a way to survive severe trauma, the resulting dissociative disorder might not fall neatly into a description of DID or other pre-defined dissociative disorder. If the person's symptoms are clearly dissociative in nature but do not fall under any of the predefined criteria for DID or other dissociative disorder, the diagnosis is likely to be Dissociative Disorder--Not Otherwise Specified (DD-NOS).

1. Define dissociation. Everyone has experienced some level of dissociation, such as "losing yourself" in a good book and "forgetting" that you are sitting in a crowded library. Dissociation is when you separate your focus from your present circumstances and, instead, "lose yourself" into an altered state of awareness, which can include the present, past or future.
2. Describe the dissociation continuum. On the far left is normal dissociation like "losing yourself" in a good book. In the middle of the continuum is post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), where people experience flashbacks that vividly return the person's focus to the past. On the far right is DID, where the dissociation is so extreme that it is experienced as if another part of the person is experiencing the emotions and memories. Any level of dissociation between PTSD and DID would be labeled a dissociative disorder.
3. Reference the "Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition" (DSM-IV). Psychiatrists use the DSM-IV to diagnose mental disorders. Five dissociative disorders are defined, with DD-NOS being the catch-all for dissociative disorders that do not fall under the other 4 diagnoses.
4. Provide examples of DD-NOS. For example, a person might split into colors instead of separate personalities, which would disqualify the person from being diagnosed with DID, even though most of the other symptoms are present. One color might hold rage while another color holds terror. Looking into one of the darker colors might cause the person to lose time.
5. Explain that a dissociative disorder can be as creative as the child. In many respects, a dissociative disorder is a "create your own disorder" disorder because the variations of how to build an elaborate defense mechanism is only limited by the traumatized child's imagination.
6. Emphasize that all of the parts make up one whole. Whether a person has fragmented into multiple personalities, colors, or any other form of compartmentalization, all of the parts fit together to make one human being. DD-NOS is a highly effective way to survive severe trauma. DD-NOS was a highly effective coping strategy that only became maladaptive after the abuse ended.

More: dissociative disorder NOS - Google Search

 

[GDPR]

In my introduction thread, I mentioned that I am 'supposedly' DID. I said supposedly because I don't believe or accept the diagnosis.

I started therapy over a year ago, my life was completely out of control. Within the first 3 sessions I was diagnosed with PTSD. I wasn't really sure what PTSD was, but once I read all the info I could find, I realized the diagnosis fit. I accept that.

But DID, on the other hand, is something I just can't come to terms with. I just can't grasp how a person could live with that kind of disorder and not have a clue. How could I NOT know something like that? How could my kids and my husband not know? How could something like that go unnoticed?

My therapist keeps telling me it's clearly DID, and I keep telling him he's wrong. How do I know whether to even trust him?

How do I even attempt accepting this diagnosis?

I never planned on posting in this thread again,but I have been thinking about it and debating whether I should for a few months and have decided that I would.

I finally accepted the DID diagnosis earlier this year,but not until after the fact,after I recovered from it,I am no longer DID.

In hindsight I can see it all so clearly,something I could not see,grasp or understand while still dissociative.

There's so much I could say about the whole thing,but my main point of this is that my husband and kids did know,they knew all along,but I didn't know,or rather,I knew,but didn't realize it was a 'disorder'.

I knew there were others inside before I ever started therapy,a few of them,but I didn't know it was abnormal,it had always been that way for me,I never knew anything different,I guess I just thought it was normal.If you experienced things,life,in the same way,and it's your normal,ever since you were very young,would you know it wasn't how everyone else experiences things?

I never really thought about it or talked about it before therapy,why would I when I thought that's just how it was,for everyone?But once I was told,and diagnosed,I did start thinking about it,questioning things,but I still could never believe it or accept it.I guess I needed/wanted solid proof.

That proof came the day my 'thoughts' stopped.There's a thread here on Psychlinks where I was asking what other people's thoughts sounded like,I had started questioning if anyone elses's sounded like mine did.I tried asking people in real life,but it didn't go over so well.My 'thoughts' were different ages and genders.I assumed they were thoughts,I had heard them since I was young,I thought everyone thought that way.

After it stopped,when I could no longer hear my thoughts anymore, I realized they weren't thoughts after all.That's the day I finally accepted my diagnosis had been correct.And my life has drastically changed since then,for the better in so many ways.But I have also been struggling with some things,mainly living life without the ability to dissociate and finding new ways to cope with any kind of crisis.

I know DID is very controversial.Most people don't believe it is real,but I know it is.It may not be what/how people expect it to be(the Sybil movie,the United States of Tara show),but it is still real.

I am actually embarrassed and ashamed to admit this is what I had,because of all the controversy surrounding it.I know what people think about it,I know what images come to mind,I know what they say,that it's caused by bad therapy and incompetent therapists,it is faked for attention,etc.

People say someone can't have other 'people' inside of them,and it's not real.I agree that it is not really other people,there's not really completely separate human beings inside.In hindsight I know that it was all just a way to survive my childhood,a way to convince myself that all those things didn't really happen to ME.A way to carry on with life,a way to function,despite all the abuse.

If you really think about it,how else could a small child survive if they didn't dissociate?What other option do they have when there's no one to turn to,no one to help them,no escape from it?The only option is to escape in their mind,right?

The bad thing about it is it continues,even into adulthood,even when it's not necessary to cope in that way anymore.That's what I did,up until recently when I was finally able to see the truth and recover from it.

Now I am working on picking up the pieces of my life,working on new ways to live and cope,trying to make sense of all of this.And it is really hard sometimes.

The past 5 years have been SO hard,it has been such hard work to get where I am.It IS possible to heal from it though.

---------- Post Merged at 12:20 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 12:06 PM ----------

I thought I would be feeling like I should delete what I said,freak out and ask for it to be removed,but instead it feels freeing and empowering.

 

[MHealthJo]

I think also that quite a few people are probably aware that TV / media type ideas, or things you hear, might not quite accurately describe a certain disorder. Sometimes they present it very accurately for the 'typical' presentation of a particular disorder,but other times not necessarily. I think a fair number of people know that.

Everyone is different, but probably quite a few people out there keep in mind that they may not have a perfectly clear understanding of what exactly a diagnosis means, and may not think about it necessarily in a type of way matching up with entertainment culture ideas.

 

[H011yHawkJ311yBean]

Wow, that was a big step!

Not trying to be patronizing, LIT, seriously, impressed.

Some people never accept a diagnosis, some never even seek help outside themselves.

I think, if not always, than probably often, in the case of continuous abuse, that would definitely be an adaptation a child would use. It's nothing anyone needs to be ashamed of, but I know what you mean... Not everyone would necessarily understand, of course.

On a personal side note, I am grateful that some of us (childhood abuse/trauma or any other type of abuse/trauma) had this sort of built-in protection. For some it's just a thick shell encasing the history/memory to prevent it from harming the child; and for others it appears to be different layers of that same shell... Either way, protection is protection. Our minds are certainly amazing things.

XXOO

---------- Post Merged at 12:46 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 12:39 PM ----------

And thank you so much for sharing this with us. I am glad you didn't delete your post.

Who knows, it may help someone else who has questions about DID/disassociate episodes.