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In response to the government?s new education initiative, it is proposed that students will have to pass a test to be promoted to the next grade level. The new test will be called the ?First Arithmetic and Reading Test?, or FART.
All students who cannot pass a FART in the second grade will be retested in Grades 3, 4 and 5 until they are capable of passing a FART.
If a student does not successfully FART by grade 5, that student shall be placed in a separate English program known as the ?Special Masters Easy Learning Language?, or SMELL.
If, with this increased SMELL program, the student cannot pass the required FART test, he or she can still graduate to middle school by taking another course in ?Comprehensive Reading and Arithmetic Preparation?, or CRAP.
If by age fourteen the student cannot FART, SMELL, or CRAP, he or she can earn promotion in an intensive one-week seminar known as the ?Preparatory Reading for Unprepared Nationally Exempted Students?, or PRUNES.
It is the opinion of the School Inspectorate that an intensive week of PRUNES will enable any student to FART, SMELL, or CRAP. And in the long term, this revised education initiative should help "clear the air"
All students who cannot pass a FART in the second grade will be retested in Grades 3, 4 and 5 until they are capable of passing a FART.
If a student does not successfully FART by grade 5, that student shall be placed in a separate English program known as the ?Special Masters Easy Learning Language?, or SMELL.
If, with this increased SMELL program, the student cannot pass the required FART test, he or she can still graduate to middle school by taking another course in ?Comprehensive Reading and Arithmetic Preparation?, or CRAP.
If by age fourteen the student cannot FART, SMELL, or CRAP, he or she can earn promotion in an intensive one-week seminar known as the ?Preparatory Reading for Unprepared Nationally Exempted Students?, or PRUNES.
It is the opinion of the School Inspectorate that an intensive week of PRUNES will enable any student to FART, SMELL, or CRAP. And in the long term, this revised education initiative should help "clear the air"
