Feel a bit offended by therapist's question...

[poss]

Hi Everyone,

My therapist sent me an email a few days after the last session saying that she had looked at her accounts and didn't think that my payment had covered the last session. I was immediately worried because I really hate owing people and would hate for someone to think I would overlook paying them. I looked back at my records and was sure I had paid, which I mailed back to her. Her reply was along the lines of, I'm sure you're right, I'm not good at keeping records, thanks. But it's left me feeling quite offended. I don't think it was right of her to suggest that I hadn't paid if she hadn't kept her records properly and didn't know the answer anyway. It's not my fault if she didn't keep a note of it. In my mail I had said that I'm really sorry if I'm wrong, that I would never do that intentionally and offered to pay weekly. She didn't reply to any of that. I have now sent her another mail with my records and dates right back until last March just to prove that I had paid everything. I'm also slightly annoyed that I know I was ill twice and she never said if I still had to pay or not and now it seems I have paid and she doesn't even know that. So maybe I didn't have to pay for the two times I was ill. The whole thing has made me feel really frustrated. We have a good relationship and it seems like she just sees payment as a business arrangement and I guess it's me that is making it into something bigger now, but I really don't like the fact that she questioned me like that with no real reason to.

Any thoughts would be appreciated. I just don't know how to react at the next session or whether she will bring this up or just ignore it. I feel that she might be annoyed with me for making it a big deal with my mails with the payments and proof.

Thanks,

Poss

 

[Yuray]

but I really don't like the fact that she questioned me like that with no real reason to.

Her reason was her uncertainty as to whether you had paid or not. You should ask her about the sick days.

I feel that she might be annoyed with me for making it a big deal with my mails with the payments and proof.

You were only clearing up a misunderstanding.

 

[Daniel E.]

and would hate for someone to think I would overlook paying them

Yes, that would be horrible/awful/terrible and must/should not happen

ELLIS: ...The two main things that upset people are, one, "I have to do well and be approved, and I'm no good,"...

http://www.intuition.org/txt/ellis.htm

 

[forgetmenot]

I think your T should keep better account of what is being paid and how and should clarify if you had to pay or not if you are sick i would definetly get that clear up as well seeing she was the one asking and all.

 

[Daniel E.]

I have now sent her another mail with my records and dates right back until last March just to prove that I had paid everything.

Are these receipts you are talking about? Checks can be receipts in themselves, but one can always ask for a receipt to denote that there is no standing balance. Cash and credit card payments usually always assume/need a receipt.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I don't think you need take offense, poss. I've done that on occasion, too. Many mental health practitioners I've known are not the greatest businessmen and with a number of clients on any given day it's not difficult to forget to write down one receipt in the file ledger. Personally, I keep very extensive clinical notes and those are always up to date but invoices and accounts are another matter.

When the client has corrected me, I certainly don't take offense and I don't need copies of receipts and the like - I'm sure the client is more likely to know what has been paid and what has not - it's just a question and when I receive the answer I update my records accordingly.

(It's actually worked the other way for me as well. I've had clients send me a cheque for an outstanding balance when I didn't realize they had an outstanding balance. There's a reason I switched from accounting to psychology! )

 

[Daniel E.]

So, poss, is the sense of frustration more that the therapist did not apologize for her own error? If so, maybe she hasn't had time to reply to your most recent e-mail?

Or maybe she feels she already has apologized in a way:

I'm sure you're right, I'm not good at keeping records, thanks.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I would assume the latter.

 

[poss]

Thanks guys. You all made me feel better about things before seeing my therapist again. Thanks David for giving me your perspective. I felt much less offended then.

Today when I saw my therapist, she apologized for causing me any worry or anxiety and said that she believed me when I said I had paid upfront and didn't need me to prove it to her.

So it's all fine now and back on track.

Thanks again,

Poss