Feeling That You Need To Ask Permission

[ladylore]

This is more of a question that I don't have the answer to. I have PTSD - more like Complex PTSD. When I am going through stressful times I feel that I almost need permission to go out of my house or eat the food in my fridge. I can be completely hungry and will need to out to buy more food then eat what I have.
I also have problems sleeping in my bed when Im under stress and spend more nights then not on the couch - almost needing permission to sleep in my bed.

I am going through this at the moment - for the past few weeks. Does anyone gone through this? Is this normal for people with Complex PTSD? I handle almost everything on my own but this is a patten that has been going on for a long time - not constant but during stressful periods.

Thanks in advance.

 

[HA]

Hi Ladylore,

I think what you are expereincing is normal for complex PTSD considering your expereince of residential abuse and having a disability. Here is a passage from an article about this that seems to be connected to your experience. What do you think?

Powerlessness in society
When a child?s bodily autonomy and integrity and sense of efficacy (sense of competence and ability to make things happen) are harmed by experiences of childhood abuse or neglect, the child is rendered powerless (disempowerment).

Feelings of powerlessness are increased when a child is fearful, unable to have adults validate her hurtful experience, and when she realizes that her dependence on adults has her trapped in the abusive situation.....

The social conditions of many women?s lives help keep them fearful, hypervigilant (always on the lookout for danger), disempowered and vulnerable. As well, inequality affects mental health and can exacerbate the long-term effects of abuse in childhood. For example, women who face ongoing racism, homophobia, sexism or conditions of poverty may respond by using coping strategies such as hypervigilance or disconnection (taking themselves mentally out of a situation), because they are triggered by these threatening and disempowering experiences.

The responses to these experiences include ongoing depression or sleeping disorders. Many women adapt by disconnecting through self-harm or the use of medication, alcohol and other drugs.

Abuse survivors are often told their experiences are in the past, and they should no longer feel the same need for self-protection. However, the reality is that many women are still vulnerable and exposed to ongoing violence and social marginalization, especially lesbians, women of colour, women with disabilities, and women living in poverty.

 

[braveheart]

I can relate, although mine's more an 'asking permission to exist' type. I'm also working a lot on overcoming feelings of powerlessness in therapy - hence my swings between total powerlessness and urges for complete power and control.

 

[Cat Dancer]

I just wanted to add that I can relate too. I feel as though I need permission to exist like braveheart said. Permission to do anything good for myself is also something I need.

For me, it's as if I feel I don't deserve these things, like food and sleeping in a bed.

I hope you can overcome these feelings soon. :hug:

 

[ladylore]

HeartArt, Braveheart and Janet - Thankyou:hug:

That passage HeartArt fits to a T

I can relate, although mine's more an 'asking permission to exist' type. I'm also working a lot on overcoming feelings of powerlessness in therapy - hence my swings between total powerlessness and urges for complete power and control.

This may still be asking permission to exist. I am working on the same thing Braveheart.

I just wanted to add that I can relate too. I feel as though I need permission to exist like braveheart said. Permission to do anything good for myself is also something I need.

For me, it's as if I feel I don't deserve these things, like food and sleeping in a bed.

Thank you Janet for sharing this. :0

I have talked about anorexic tendencies in therapy and about isolation but when it comes right down to it I have become my own jailer - so to speak. I am wondering if anyone as suggestions that have helped yourself or others overcome this.

:hug: