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So we rescheduled for Thursday at 12:30, but now I'm not sure if I want to go. Therapy has been a disaster for me in the past, despite my efforts for a successful outcome. Obviously I'm doing something wrong, but I don't really want to be chucking $170/hr out the window for nothing.
I just don't know what to do. I can fake it til I make it, but eventually I'll relapse, crash, be suicidal, you name it...that's when I at least need someone around to help me out. Right now, I feel like I have issues, I just haven't got a clue what they are. I just feel like I don't "fit" with society, which is a pretty broad and vague statement...and my will to live waivers from minute to minute, day to day, week to week, month to month. I'm so confused.
I just don't know what to do. I can fake it til I make it, but eventually I'll relapse, crash, be suicidal, you name it...that's when I at least need someone around to help me out. Right now, I feel like I have issues, I just haven't got a clue what they are. I just feel like I don't "fit" with society, which is a pretty broad and vague statement...and my will to live waivers from minute to minute, day to day, week to week, month to month. I'm so confused.
Always Changing
MVP
Hi Turtle,
Sometimes we have to look at Need v Want and in your case at the minute I would be thinking you NEED to be in therapy, talking to someone about where you are at. Hopefully this new therapist will be able to help you identify changes in your mood\thinking etc and help you in preventing any dire changes. While at the same time exploring "your issues" as they come up for you. You don't need or have to fake it till you make it in therapy.. just be you.
:hug:
Sometimes we have to look at Need v Want and in your case at the minute I would be thinking you NEED to be in therapy, talking to someone about where you are at. Hopefully this new therapist will be able to help you identify changes in your mood\thinking etc and help you in preventing any dire changes. While at the same time exploring "your issues" as they come up for you. You don't need or have to fake it till you make it in therapy.. just be you.
:hug:
Chain Lightning
Member
AC: My dog'c name is Logan, he is a Dutch Shepherd. He's 80lbs with the energy of a JRT. The thing that sucks is that because of my BP issues and not ebing able to support myself, I am living with my parents. So I am subjected to my mom telling me its normal to have all these symptoms when I am the most vonerable and can't brush it off. So basically if I ever complain about my symptoms, my complaints are invalid to her which pisses me off!!!
T: You could try martial arts and be a Ninja Turtle
T: You could try martial arts and be a Ninja Turtle
Always Changing
MVP
CL:
I can understand your frustration at your moms responses, they are not what you need to be hearing when all you want is some understanding and maybe even some compassion for where you are at. This may be hard to hear but have you tried NOT looking to her when you are not feeling the best.. my thinking is this that if her responses are such that they make you angry or unheard or ingnored or what ever word fits in here, which can only serve to make you feel even worse, then for your own sake would it be better if you didn't say anything at all to her.?? As I said this may be hard to take on board.. just thinking of you here and how you feel at those times. Her response are probably as a result of her not truly understanding your condition and therefore maybe she doesn't know how to respond appropriately. It still doesn't make it any easier to hear though.
Excuse my ignorance here, what is a JRT??? Logan is a cool name and at 80lbs he must be huge!. I am glad he is your companion when all else around you fails to give you the support and comfort you need.
I can understand your frustration at your moms responses, they are not what you need to be hearing when all you want is some understanding and maybe even some compassion for where you are at. This may be hard to hear but have you tried NOT looking to her when you are not feeling the best.. my thinking is this that if her responses are such that they make you angry or unheard or ingnored or what ever word fits in here, which can only serve to make you feel even worse, then for your own sake would it be better if you didn't say anything at all to her.?? As I said this may be hard to take on board.. just thinking of you here and how you feel at those times. Her response are probably as a result of her not truly understanding your condition and therefore maybe she doesn't know how to respond appropriately. It still doesn't make it any easier to hear though.
Excuse my ignorance here, what is a JRT??? Logan is a cool name and at 80lbs he must be huge!. I am glad he is your companion when all else around you fails to give you the support and comfort you need.
David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
Always Changing
MVP
Thanks for that David, though I would never believe that Jack Russells are dumb, I had one who was really clever and very terroritorial. Great little guard dog.
Great little guard dog.
Chain Lightning
Member
Yeah JRTs are clever, just stubborn..like my dutchie. He's a lean 80 lbs and about 27 inches at the withers...built like the old working type dobermans from the 50s. The problem with my mom is that when I am stressed out, she ask me what is wrong or something. I tell her and then she says **** like "maybe you need to find the real cause for all of this" or "everywhere you go there will be people you don't always like...etc" Like it all my fault for feeling the way I do...I don't ask for her advice, she just gives it. I hate living here.
Always Changing
MVP
I see what you mean, have you heard the phrase "tuning out" or "turning a deaf ear".. Maybe you can learn how to let some of those unwanted pieces of advice go up and over your head and not take them on board. When you find you have been "triggered" (ie annoyed or angered) stop and think for a second, take a deep breath and try to let it go. Very hard to learn to do but works if you can do it.
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