Finding Your Why and Finding Your Way (Upcoming Workbook)

[Daniel E.]

To be released in January:

Finding Your Why and Finding Your Way

Put mindfulness into action, and create a “map” for your chosen life path with this powerful, step-by-step workbook. Do you feel “stuck” in your life...

www.newharbinger.com

by Daniel J. Moran and Siri Ming

Put mindfulness into action, and create a “map” for your chosen life path with this powerful, step-by-step workbook.

Do you feel “stuck” in your life right now? You aren’t alone. Whether you struggle with depression, anxiety, trauma—or simply feel unhappy or unmotivated—you may be seeking ways to find meaning, or discover the inspiration you need to create a new path in life that better serves you. Mindfulness has gained popularity as a self-help solution for a variety of mental health issues, and mindfulness meditation has been touted as powerfully effective in helping people find focus and balance in order to complete important tasks. But if you’re like many other people, you may wonder, “How does one actually do mindfulness?”

This is an accessible, step-by-step guide for putting mindfulness into action every day. You’ll find an evidence-based and customizable approach that blends mindfulness, behavioral activation skills, performance management techniques, and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) to help you identify what you deeply care about; increase your motivation; get unstuck from anxiety, depression, or trauma; reach your goals; and ultimately live a more meaningful life. You will also learn to develop personal growth skills, and take committed action to create positive change.

If you’re ready to break free from the invisible barriers that stand between you and true happiness and satisfaction, this practical mindfulness guide will help you create your own path that leads to a more intentional and vital life!

 

[Daniel E.]

The co-author, Siri Ming, did her PhD in relational frame theory, which underlies ACT.

Among other things, she mentions in the below video that she color codes her tasks based on her values:

 

[Daniel E.]

The other co-author, Daniel J. Moran:

 

[Daniel E.]

Though values are very important in ACT, one of the tenants of ACT is to hold your values lightly. This may seem contridatory at first. But I find in my own life, that taking anything too seriously can lead to irrational guilt, paralyzing self-criticism, etc. This way, values may be seen as preferences -- guideposts for action -- rather than as just another reason to feel defeated or overwhelmed:

“Every act has both good and evil results. Every act in life yields pairs of opposites in its results. The best we can do is lean toward the light, toward the harmonious relationships that come from compassion with suffering, from understanding the other person.”

~ Joseph Campbell

 

[Daniel E.]

One of the best ways to learn to hold your values lightly is to practice self-compassion. This is a practice that I learned from Kristin Neff. Self-compassion is not self-pity.

Self-pity is feeling sorry for yourself. Self-compassion is being kind to yourself. Self-compassion is not self-indulgence.

Self-indulgence is doing things to soothe yourself that are not good for you. Self-compassion is being kind to yourself.

Self-compassion is not self-esteem. Self-esteem is judging yourself. Self-compassion is being kind to yourself. Self-compassion is not self-improvement.

Self-improvement is striving for perfection. Self- compassion is being kind to yourself.

Self-compassion has three components: Self-kindness is being gentle with yourself. It is recognizing that you are a human being and that you are worthy of care. When you make a mistake, rather than judging yourself harshly, you can instead be kind to yourself.

Common humanity is recognizing that you are not alone. You are not the only one who feels this way. Your experience is not unique. It is a normal part of the human experience. And you are worthy of care.

Mindfulness is the practice of observing your experience with a nonjudgmental, accepting attitude. It is being present in the moment and noticing what is happening in your mind, body, and emotions. It is being aware of your thoughts and feelings without being attached to them. What are the barriers to self-compassion?

One of the biggest barriers to self-compassion is that self-compassion can feel selfish. We are raised to put other people first, to think of others before ourselves. And self-compassion can feel like we are putting ourselves first. Another barrier to self-compassion is that self-compassion can feel self-indulgent.

We are raised to believe that we should be able to deal with our problems on our own. We see other people who do it and we think that we should be able to do it, too.

Another barrier to self-compassion is that self-compassion can feel weak. We are raised to believe that we should be strong and independent. And self-compassion can feel like we are admitting that we are weak.

A fourth barrier to self-compassion is that self-compassion can feel like we are giving up. We are raised to believe that we should be able to overcome our problems. And self-compassion can feel like we are giving up.

Despite these barriers, self-compassion is essential to a life that is full of joy, meaning, and purpose. Self-compassion can be cultivated through mindfulness and meditation. And it can be cultivated through self-compassionate self-talk.

When you are feeling down on yourself, treat yourself the way you would treat a friend. Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend. Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself.

For more information on self-compassion, please see Kristin Neff's website: www.selfcompassion.org