More threads by Ashley-Kate

i don't know how to say it really clearly or more like i can't cause that would make it "realer" than i can take at the moment. so here are a bunch of words maybe you will understand maybe not..
12 years old , 18 years old , 7 men , 1 girl , rope, cigarette burns 7 , abuse , rape , violation , innocence , penetration , humiliation , pain , sadness , guilt , trust , secret , violation ...
that is my story the bits in pieces i chose to share to get it out i can't take it anymore , i can't take using my eating disorder to hide this! i feel i deserve to die cause of this cause i blame myself for not doing anything i let it happen.
yours truly
Re: gang rape


I first would like to say that your words are clear and speak volumes...

This kind of atrocity is unimaginable and I am beyond sorry for what you had to endure. And, above, all, it was not, could not, be your fault. I can only hope that somehow you are working through this kind of pain with a therapist and ,if not, that you will. Having suffered similar kinds of abuse as a child, I can only tell you that a good therapist will help you to place these awful experiences where they belong and to bring you through to being on the "other side" of this pain.

Speaking the words is a real beginning - it helps to say it. And, as I believe, it helps to say it again and again so that it is outside of you and so that others can help you through it.

We are all here to listen and care immensely about you - whenever you want to reach out.

Take care and many many hugs to you. :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:



Re: gang rape


I am truly sorry that this happened to you but like TG said, you did not deserve this and in no way was this your fault. I am sure the intense feelings that you have probably make you feel like you want to die but you did not let this happen. It was something that was done to you and you could not do anything to stop it. You were young and innocent and the people that did this to you deserve the blame and anger not you.

I too hope you are seeing a good therapist and are working through this.

Take care and hang on because as I am always reminded, there is light at the end of the tunnel, although you may not see it yet.
:hug: :hug:


AK.. I am so sorry this happened to you! This is NOT your fault, and I hope you come to realize you have nothing to be quilty about. I hope you are talking to a professional and in time,find some peace and healing.



Ashley, there's nothing you, as a 12-year-old child, could have done to prevent what happened to you. The fault - every bit of it - belongs to the creatures who abused a child in this way. I'm so very, very sorry that child was you, Ashley, but please realize that punishing the victim is the wrong way to go. You, Ashley, were the victim.

Next time you're out and about, try to find a girl about 12-years-old and watch her for a bit. I think you'll see the innocence and naivete that children that age have. There's no way a child like that can be blamed for wicked things being done to her. If you think of it that way, and realize that that little girl was you, I think you'll see who the real blame lies with. It certainly isn't with an innocent child! :hug:


I'm so sorry this happened to you A-K.. I admire your courage in telling us that it did.. I hope that now u have broken the ice\silence on this that you will be able..( in your own time), continue to share your words\feelings with us and receive the support that we can\will give you here.

I really hope that in time .. you will come to believe as we believe .. we Know ... you weren't to blame then and you aren't to blame now.

my heart goes out to you A-K..:hug: :hug:
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