More threads by phoebe22

phoebe22

Member
Does anyone else ever experience the extremely embarassing tendency to go overboard when trying to stifle shyness? I prefer to be invisible, but if noticed, or (worse) spoken to, typically undergo some kind of weird transformation and can't stop talking once I start. In school I used humour quite effectively, and sometimes it serves me well in adult life, but now I mostly just babble :(

In part, I think it's because I was raised to "make polite conversation", but not given much direction regarding exactly what that was apart from keeping the language clean and avoiding certain topics. If I was silent, I was being "sullen"; if I spoke, I was "dominating the conversation".

At this point I'm ready to purchase a role of duct tape (thank you, Red Green :)) and carry with me at all times. Maybe it would remind me to shut the :censored: up?


:hissyfit:
 

David Baxter PhD

Late Founder
I "babble" more than usual when I'm nervous in a social situation, too. But since that's pretty much always with someone I don't know well, as far as I can tell they don't know it's unusual for me and don't see it as unusual behavior.

You're probably worrying too much. :)
 

phoebe22

Member
I "babble" more than usual when I'm nervous in a social situation, too. But since that's pretty much always with someone I don't know well, as far as I can tell they don't know it's unusual for me and don't see it as unusual behavior.

You're probably worrying too much. :)

"What, me worry?" :D

Unfortunately, I can talk both ears off people I've known for decades (my biggest problem is wandering down side-roads instead of remaining on the highway which would take me more directly to making a point) though they have the advantage of knowing it can strike without warning and that I won't be upset if they remind me that they'd like to reach the punch line before the seasons change. By the same token, most of them could out-chatter me any day, so there's a lot of give and take and yet somehow miraculously, we manage to communicate what needs communicating.

Brevity being the soul of wit, I can only conclude that I'm witless, but that having been said, it's only troublesome in unfamiliar situations or when I'm trying to get a lot of information to someone (e.g. my wondrously tolerant clinician) in a limited period of time. I often wish, in such instances, that I took more after my father, who could communicate an entire boxed set of volumes in ten words or less, but no; I got his nose and his ticker, but not his mind.

Alas ...

:dramaqueen:

It's an "issue", I think, because contrary to appearances, I don't enjoy the spotlight, even a small one. I like people and like being around them, but I'd much rather listen than speak. It feels a lot like a panic reaction (with a whole lot of over-compensation): someone asks me a question and I respond with what could never be mistaken for the Reader's Digest Version. And no matter how well or how badly it goes, I always end up writhing with embarassment after the fact ... all of it made worse by the fact that on many occasions I end up with both feet stuck in my mouth up to the knees. When it comes to the fine art of mis-communication, I am undisputed champion of the north (at the very least).

Most days I'm not kidding about the duct tape :lol:

:cheers:
 

phoebe22

Member
:lol:

Well, as my son might say ... "Dude!"

:agree:

It was a sorry day indeed when "Uncle Red" took his stick and went home.

:vroom:
 
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