Good self-help book about self-discovery, identity crisis?

[stef]

Could you suggest a good self-help book about self-discovery, identity crisis for a man in his 40ies? ...sigh...

Thanks a lot.
Stef

 

[David Baxter PhD]

What do you mean by "self-discovery, identity crisis"?

 

[stef]

I mean a book for someone who claims having lost his identity, who claims he doesn't know any longer who he is and what he needs to do and doubts all he believed up to now.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Spiritually? Religiously? Politically?

What triggered this? Depression? A breakup? A loss? Drugs or alcohol?

 

[stef]

Spiritually? Religiously? Politically?

What triggered this? Depression? A breakup? A loss? Drugs or alcohol?

I would say ethically, values-wise. Allegedly it might have been caused by a burnout due to overwork. At least, his doctor diagnosed him a burn-out.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I'm not sure that a book is going to help. I think he probably needs to see a therapist or spiritual counselor.

 

[H011yHawkJ311yBean]

lol I suffered a burnout from work, but it wasn't the work. It was choices I chose and I went to a toxic work place and I didn't know where I ended and everyone else began. That was MY identity crisis. I sought therapy. As it turns out the way I was raised was part of the reason I chose workplaces I did, relationships I did that were toxic for me or didn't fit me. My "real life" echoed my upbringing. I didn't learn this from a book. I learned it from therapy. I'm with Dr. Baxter on this one, seeing it from the other side... I'm doing a lot better, but that's because my therapist helped me figure out things. I have to be more mindful of things, and think of myself and not always do what everyone else wants me to do, not define myself by what I do or who I impress because THAT is what caused my burnout. If I was mentally healthy and aware in the first place I probably would not have chosen to try to work at that place, I probably would have laughed in the interviewer's face or not even bothered to get an interview... lol Sometimes it isn't the job that's rotten, it's just a really bad fit for a person and they need to stop hanging on to the familiar just because it's there and strike out for something different. Either way, a therapist would be a great place to start, in my humble opinion.

 

[stef]

What about if this person does not like therapy? He went to a therapist but stopped after the first time as he claims that - allegedly - he was just after his salary and not whatsoever interested in his case. I do not know whether it is true or not. It might also be as in his country therapists are like family doctors, paid by the heath insurance. The other problem with therapy is that insurances normally grant you 8 sessions nothing more. Well, you tell me whether can you solve your identity crisis in 8 sessions or not...

Having said this, what is the lesser of the two evil? Doing nothing or reading a book on the subject?

Knowing the situation, do you also have other suggestions?

Thanks.
Stef

 

[Daniel E.]

Well, you tell me whether can you solve your identity crisis in 8 sessions or not...

That's one reason brief therapy tends to focus on the solution, not the problem.

And one person's identity crisis may be another person's obsessive self-focus. In any case, such issues may distract from meeting psychological needs through outcome goals such as being more mindful, more social, or more active in general.

And, of course, one can continue therapy by paying out-of-pocket, such as by paying sliding scale fees or seeking lower-cost online therapy.

In any case, 8 sessions is a whole lot better than nothing. For example, I once got a lot out of 6 sessions of therapy after years of being out of therapy.

BTW, Erik Erickson, the guy who developed the notion of an identity crisis, was the brother of Milton Erickson, who influenced solution-focused brief therapy.