He said what I've been thinking

[Cat Dancer]

The new therapist said what the old therapist did sounded like it was a trauma in itself. It has felt very traumatic. Very painful. I told him I don't want to do to him whatever it was that I did to my old therapist to make this happen.

I am so wary and scared with this therapy. I was before, but in a different way.

And I'm scared of looking like I just want his sympathy and that I am a victim to be pitied and coddled. I want him to know all the badness of me. I don't want him to think I'm innocent of anything and don't deserve pain and suffering. I want him to know the truth about me, the awful truth. Maybe the other therapist couldn't see it and that's where we got messed up. I don't know.

 

[GDPR]

And I'm scared of looking like I just want his sympathy and that I am a victim to be pitied and coddled. I want him to know all the badness of me. I don't want him to think I'm innocent of anything and don't deserve pain and suffering.

Wow.That is almost exactly the same thing that I said to my therapist recently.

He said I am a victim,and it's very common for victims to think that way and blame themselves.

I guess that just proves he's right.....

 

[Cat Dancer]

I don't want his sympathy or him seeing me as a victim. If that happens I don't think I will go back. I want his advice on coping and that is it. I can't have someone be nice to me again and be hurt by losing that someday before I'm ready.

---------- Post Merged at 12:39 AM ---------- Previous Post was at 12:31 AM ----------

Oh I talked to a former pastor about therapy. he said I should definitely see a christian counselor. I am thinking NO WAY. I don't know what this guy is and don't care. I think the christian counselor I had was not christian at all in the end. I would rather not have anything to do with that kind of therapy. I can handle my own spirituality myself, thank you very much. I know I'm bitter. I go from being bitter to being hurt to not caring. Sigh. I don't know. I just wish I could wipe out those whole seven years.

 

[forgetmenot]

No CD you learn from what you went through just ok what you will and will not accept now

you set some boundaries and you let this new therapist guide you trust i know is hard but only through trying can you get stronger
This therapist understands and listens both good traits to have in a therapist give it time CD ok don't let that mind of yours take over ok with negative thoughts