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hope

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Hi
I'm very new to forums but it's nice to know there are people out there to 'chat' to when you're feeling wary of the real thing!

I'm looking to rebuild my confidence after a few years that have taken their toll on me. I live on the south coast of England with my little girl.

I'm interested in finding out if anyone knows about the cognitive recovery of PTSD. I was bullied and intimidated by someone who's now become even more powerful and well connected. I still have to work and get on with life but I was told it could be a few years before my thinking skills and in particular my short term memory were back to normal. It's quite a strain at times but I'm getting there.

Best wishes to all.
Hope.
 
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I just wanted to say welcome! :)

Have you looked at the PTSD forums here? There is some good information there.

Janet
 

ThatLady

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Welcome, Hope.

Somehow, that statement seems appropriate in more ways than one.;)
 

Kanadiana

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Hi Hope,

Welcome to the forum :)

I've had issues with ptsd too that related to past abuses,
early childhood, and older stuff, including commonlaw with
a verbally and physically abusive man, then an emotionally
abusive one for 14 years until last year. etc.

Takes a while to learn how to pick better relationships.
. Yes, it surely erodes will, and self inage and self-esteem,
and takes time to gain self confidence and all get over
all the kneejerk reactions and responses learned with the
abusive relationships hey?

But it happens... building of confidence and esteem ... and
life gets better. I'm really glad to hear you're out of that
bad relationship ... and its a real drag this person has so
much power ... so asy to abuse that :( But you and your little
one are the important ones for you. Building a different life
can be scarey and exciting... in lotsa ways huh?

I have friends in Southern England :) Southhampton area?
Never been there, but will get there probably within the
next few years. Also Normandy. My GGG Grandfather arrived
from Westminster, London. a JOHN SMITH (roll eyes for doing geneology) grin

Good luck with the restructuring and building :)

Kanadiana
 

hope

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thanks

Hello everyone

Thank you for your welcomes and comments. I have been reading through the information but I've still a few questions. I had or am recovering from Complex PTSD but I haven't seen it referred as that here. It's the form suffered by people who've been bullied or stalked; slow and relentless rather than one big blow. The symptoms seem mroe or less the same though.

I just wish I could get my thoughts and confidence back properly. It's like thinking through treacle sometimes. The main problem I'm facing now is that the people responsible for this just get more and more successful and confident. I'm a shadow of my former self but I keep saying it's temporary and I'll get back to former confidence eventually providing things don't continue.

This all happened in my training school and as a result of their lies and actions I am now excluded from the school, from my peers and have to be really careful if I even try to organise something myself because of the horrible things that have been said about me. I've come across the ocean in the hope that I can hide and get help at the same time. If they find me doing this God help me!

It just amazes me that people in the helping professions can be so cruel. The main bully is a woman but the man involved was my friend who despite his arguments to the contrary was having an affair with her the whole time. Hence the clash. He knows I haven't done anything wrong but he wont defend me or clear my name because of his loyalty to her. My main problem is my naivity. I am so easily persuaded that all is well and everyone is telling the truth I can be up to my eyes in danger and not be aware of it. I have been diagnosed with mild Asperger's since the PTSD happened and so things do make a lot more sense.

I think I'm going to like it here. Just please bear with me about details about my identity I really am concerned they might find me here and things will get so much worse. I just dont know how much more I can cope with.

Thanks again for your kindness.

Hope
 

hope

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bullyonline

Hi Janet

Thanks. Yes Bullyonline have been great. I was helped so much by one of their representatives for a while when things were particularly bad. The dilemma I had was to report the training school or not. If I had done it would have got so very nasty. Even defending myself produced a tirade of threats. It would also have affected so many innocent people I couldn't do it.

Can you believe that one of the people involved is an expert in bullying and anger management!

But bullyonline is a wonderful resource and I can't recommend it highly enough. I'll keep reading the articles here though, it's a great site!
 

Ash

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Welcome, Hope. We'll definitely do all we can for you, even if it's only giving you a shoulder to cry on.
 

hope

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thanks everyone!

Thanks for your thoughts Ash. Already I feel so much better.

The only other forum I know is attached to the training school I have the problems with so it's like walking on eggshells - behave or else! When you have Asperger's you can say things that don't come across the way you intended so it can be rather stressful!

I like it here. I feel so much more free to speak! I'm off to explore the other articles. I'm a trained therapist I just need my confidence to come back and I think I'm in the right place to do that!

Here we go.... x
 

lammers1980

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Welcome hope, I'm sure you will find some of what you are looking for here. I do have a certain understanding of what it is like to be bullied. I was bullied extensively when I was in school (between the ages of 10-13) through the use of rumour an innuendo which completely destroyed my self-esteem during those years. Some of the rumours were so outrageouse that I could not believe that anyone would even find a grain of truth. Regardless, it took many years to put that to rest; these rumours would occasionally untill after I graduated from high school and was attending university! Anyhow, enough about me, I guess we have some common ground.
 

Ash

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Re: thanks everyone!

hope said:
When you have Asperger's you can say things that don't come across the way you intended so it can be rather stressful!

LOL I have Bipolar Disorder so I know all about saying things that don't come across the way you mean! I always get myself in trouble with that. Add impulsiveness to the deal and I know how frustrating it is.
 

hope

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i'm improving!

hello everyone
Thanks for your nice thoughts and comments.

Interesting day. I had another poison pen letter turn up -at work this time; more strange accusations and general paranoia and again threats of police action. I've talked to the police again and they reassure me it's just the usual bullying tactics and they've been great. Just advised me to have no contact with the training school and forum I used to write on.

Guess I'm all yours now! The good thing was no panic attack, no great over-reaction. I went to my daughter's Christmas concert where she surprised me by singing a solo - at 4 and a half years old. Hardly a dry eye in the house.

Can't beat a bit of perspective can you. I'm really enjoying reading all the material on the site. You're a great lot you know!

xx
 

ThatLady

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It's good to hear how well you handled this latest bullying attempt, Hope. That says a lot for you and your determination not to let these people get to you. It's also good to hear that the police are being so helpful and supportive. :)

I'm sure your daughter's solo just put the icing on the cake for you. Kudos to you both!
 

David Baxter

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Awww... I'm always impressed with how being around young children brings you back to what's truly important and what truly matters in this world -- maybe it's the magic in their lives but it reminds me that a lot of what we stress about just does not matter...

And in case your daughter reads this, ThatLady said, "kudos to you both", not "cooties to you both"... :eek:)
 

hope

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thanks

Thanks to you both.

It is a very strange situation. They seem to be lashing out at several people at the moment but all smiles on the surface. I do not have the cognitive fine tuning for all this!

I admit I am a little bit scared because if I have to do anything more 'constructive' to protect myself it could get a whole lot worse and I really don't like all these high emotions flying around, especially with such powerful people.

David, what's a cootie? (dare I ask?!)
 

ThatLady

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Hee! A cootie is sorta-kinda like a germ, Hope. It's an old-fashioned, slang term for germ. David, dear, you're dating us!
 

David Baxter

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hope said:
David, what's a cootie? (dare I ask?!)
Maybe that's a North American thing... young boys say that about young girls and/or young girls say that about young boys... if you touch one or let them touch your stuff, you'll get "cooties", sort of like germs... often used in a phrase like, "Ewww... he used my comb... now it's got cooties".
 

^^Phoenix^^

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it is a north american thing, and we only would know it from tv...
(we get ALOT of north american tv over here) so would never really have the occasion to see it written down.
;)
Mind you....
do north american kids write it down very often?
Isn't it usually used in sentances such as... 'eewwwwww - boy cooties!' ?
welcome to you, btw
I'm Robin in Southampton!
 

hope

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Hello everybody
I've had a few computer problems so sorry for the gap in responding.

Thanks for the cultural information! I shall try to remember it when I'm next across the pond (although I'm not quite sure what situation I'll be in to use it!).

Things are 'frosty' here in more ways than one - another poison pen letter, to my work this time but hey no vomitting and no panic attack so I guess I'm better than I realised. The letter said the police were after me but when I called them they were great. So now I'm to have no contact at all with the training school and that makes things a lot easier in many ways.

Hello Robin in Southampton - cold isnt it!!

Have a wonderful and peaceful Chistmas everyone. Thank you for all your support. It means a lot to me.

Hope x
 

David Baxter

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hope said:
So now I'm to have no contact at all with the training school and that makes things a lot easier in many ways
.
Do you mean that there is a reciprocal restraining order? or that the police/courts have instructed YOU not to have contact with them?
 

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