• Quote of the Day
    "For most people, transformation is slow. It happens without you realizing it."
    Marsha Linehan, posted by Daniel

pandora311

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I really am not sure if this is the right section to be posting this in, but I did my best to select this one. I'm not even sure where to begin explaining but I'm just going to do my best at that too. I used to be overweight, but through a long span of attendences at Weight Watchers meetings and eating healthier, I lost weight. So much weight, to the point where I was slightly underweight. I returned to a healthy weight and stopped attending meetings. That was the beginning of the end. I started eating reckessly, feeling invincible due to all of the weight I had lost. Progressivley, I gained nearly half of that weight back. It took alot, but I decided it was necessecary to attend meetings again, and I did for a short while. I couldn't put my mind to it, no matter how hard I tried. I struggled with people telling me that I had done it once before, and I could easily do it again. I guess that just made the situation too pressure fueled and I stopped going to meetings. That was nearly two years ago. Last year, I joined Curves gym for women. I was so busy with my senior year, I could never make the 3 days a week, and eventually stopped going. I am 6' and currently weigh {{Edit: a specific amount}}. My BMI is {{Edit: high}}, I am overweight. I was very satisfied with my figure over the summer, I was not rail thin, but I was not {{Edit: a certain number}}. I was just very happy with how I looked. Once the idea of starting college set in, I have never been the same. I have developed seriously unhealthy eating habits. I will just give you a small sample. Today, I ate two oatmeal cookie smores, a half a dozen chocolate chip cookies, more than half a jar of olives, and excessive amounts of chocolate, all in secret. When it was halloween, I at an obscene amount of candy. The hardest part of this for me is that my mother is a registered dietitan, and yet I still cannot eat healthy. My brother found the jar of olives in my room today and just talked to me calmly about it. I guess that is what made me decide to seek help outside the realm of my family. I just get angered through stress and eat badly. When I am doing it, I know it's wrong, but I do it anyways. I am now no longer happy with my body. My clothes are beggining to fit too tight. This acctually makes me eat even more because I am so upset. I know this is going to catch up to me and I will have more problems than I already have. I am so consumed by school work because I am in an honors program that exercize doesnt even seem feasable. I get about 3 - 5 hours of sleep a night, not nearly enough. I dont know what I hope to get out of this, maybe advice, help... I'll take anything.
-Ally
 
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David Baxter

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Help with overeating.

Ally:

I would suggest that you start keeping a log or journal of when you have urges to snack or binge: What was happening at the time (just before and in the 24 hours before) this happened? Who were you with? Where were you? What were you feeling (happy, sad, anxious, depressed, angry, frustrated, lonely)? What were you thinking, saying to yourself as you thought about eating? What else had you eaten that day?

This is the first step in identifying the triggers or cues for eating... which in turn can help you figure out why you do it and how to alter the pattern...
 

pandora311

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Help with overeating.

Thank you for your reply Dr.

I can answer some of those questions now. Im always alone, I eat like this when i get home after class, before my brother and parents get home. I'm in my living room. More often than not, I'm not hungry. I crave the tastes of certain things (olives for example, I am practically addicted to them). I always think that I shouldn't be eating in that manner, that I will do better tomorrow, and that I can really fix it. I think that every day, and it is evidently getting me nowhere. Im usually sort of lonley when I eat like this. I miss my boyfriend alot and he is incurring some incredibly depressing times, which is affecting me as well. Im also ridiculously stressed out by school. I had eaten an omlette for breakfast (eggwhites and low fat cheese) and for lunch, low fat yogurt and tunafish with low fat salad dressing. Its like, I know its wrong, but I do it anyway. I dont know why I cant just stop.
-Ally
 

David Baxter

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Help with overeating.

That's a start... maybe dig a little deeper into specifically/exactly what it is you are feeling, thinking, saying to yourself at these times.... You miss your boyfriend; you're worrying about him; you're feeling stressed about school -- and then what? What do you think/feel/say to yourself after that? What is it you are "stuffing down" with food?

The other point I'd like you to think about is deprivation -- how much are you enjoying eating those eggwhites, low fat cheese, low fat yogurt, tuna fish? Are you spending a whole day or longer eating "good" foods you don't like and then giving in to craving for "bad" foods?

Weight Watchers worked once for you -- why do you think it did that first time? One of the things that makes WW more successful than most is that you're not forbidden anything -- you can eat what you want as long as you recognize what the "cost" is and compensate in some other way for that "cost".
 

pandora311

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Help with overeating.

Thank you for your quick response!

I will make sure to take note of the way I feel when I begin to indulge. As for the food I eat during the day, while I do enjoy the omlettes, I have a hard time handling lunch. The tuna is okay once in a while, and the yogurt gets old fast. I tried to eat salads more, getting the Mc donalds grilled chicken salad, but using my own dressing at home. That gets rather pricey and I can't afford that. Do you have any lunch suggestions? All of my classes end before 12:35 so I have alot of time to eat when I am home.
-Ally
 

David Baxter

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Help with overeating.

All of my classes end before 12:35 so I have a lot of time to eat when I am home.
That might be another clue... if you weren't eating, what would you be doing? Is this different from what you think you SHOULD be doing? In other words, what does eating taking you away from or help you to postpone? Would it help if you spent more time outside of the house, like in the library at school or something?

The general point is that certain feelings, thoughts, situations are controlling your eating behavior. The key is to become more aware of what those are so you can take steps to change them.
 

pandora311

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Help with overeating.

When I eat my lunch, I sit on the couch and watch TV. Im basically delaying starting studying. I never thought of that until I concentrated really on my afternoon habits. Im not used to having that area of my life so freed up timewise, so I get pretty mindless about eating. This small interaction has had a drastic effect on me. I came to realize a huge part of my ability to be incapable of stopping my overeating stemmed from the privacy of it. It was so hard for me to type this all out, but in doing so, I was able to talk to both my boyfriend and my mom about it. They both say that they will support me and just want me to be healthy. I guess I just admit something was wrong to somebody else other than myself.
-Ally
 

David Baxter

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Help with overeating.

That's great, Ally -- you've gained some insight into some of the factors controlling your eating and you've opened up to your mom and your boyfriend -- that's a pretty big step for one evening!

Continue to explore these factors in the next few days and weeks...
 

pandora311

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Re: Help with overeating.

I hope it is okay to reopen this thread, i mean, its really old! I am in a really low place in my life right now and i dont know where to turn. I really turned myself around since this thread. i am now a junior in college, and things seem to be going really well. i have lost 76 pounds over the course of a little over a year. i did it in a seeminlgy healthy manner, 3 meals a day, thats it, no snacks. lately, ever since new years, i have had AN INCREDIBLE AMOUNT OF TROUBLE maintaining my diet. i'll binge one night to the point where it hurts to move, and then get depressed over how i am sabotaging myself and all of the worl i have done. i just did it again tonight and i realized that this has got to stop. every time i do it, i claim that it will be the "last time" and i wont ever let it happen again. i tried to do something positive about this situation and talk to my parents about it, and they want me to see a therapist. i mean, i dont want to do it, but i dont know if i can continue on like this. i consider myself a strong person, but i dont know how much longer i can allow this to continue. i just cant seem to control myself. like, i know what i will be doing is WRONG AND i know how i SHOULD be behaving, but its almost as if i zone out and just EEEEAAAAATTTT and am able to block out the feelings tht should be preventing me from eating crazy like i have been. i used to just snack around the house, now i am actually seeking foo docmfort outside of the home. i dont want to see ,myself loose all of the hard work i have put into this diet. i need to be able to learn to sucessfully monitor myseflf.
 

David Baxter

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Re: Help with overeating.

You say your parents want you to see a therapist. How do you feel about that? It might well help you to identify your personal triggers for binge eating, what feelings or stressors you are trying to avoid or push away by eating, what cognitive distortions (self-talk) you are using to tell yourself you "need" to eat, etc.
 

pandora311

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Re: Help with overeating.

i dont like the idea of going to see a therapist because i desperatley want to be able to fix this on my own. i know that there are probably some benefits to doing it, but at the same time, i have come SO FAR on my own, and put so much willpower and effort into getting to where i am now that i just want to be able to know that i was able to continue it on my own too, and maintain it. last week after a terrible episode of overeating i told my parents about the problems i was having. it was reealllllly hard for me to do this but i knew at the same time that it was vital. if i continued to hide my eating there would be nothing that could possibly ever stop me. i knew i had to tell them. we came to a deal that if i was able to go a whole month without a binge that they would agree that i didnt need to see a therapist. i binged friday and saturday night. i had gone the whole week without doing anything wrong, and i didnt tell them about friday right away. i told them this (sunday) morning because i knew i couldnt keep hiding it. i cried alot because i knew that i had broken the deal but i told them the things i had eaten and how badly i wanted one more chance to be able to try on my own. they agreed to give it to me, i know there are some things that i do that are bad. like, i weigh myself every day and i know they dont like that, but i like it as a tool to see where i am at. i told them that i am going to stop weighing myself every day and seeing where that will bring me, like if it will help my situation at all. im just glad i had one more chance. the only problem was that as soon as they left the house after we talked about this, i hada huge mental battle over NOT raiding the freezer for ice cream. i just came straight up to my room and was hoping there was a reply to this post. i just need to do this on my own, i just have to.
 

David Baxter

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Re: Help with overeating.

That sounds like you are looking at seeing a therapist as a punishment, pandora.

It's not a punishment - it's a benefit. It's about getting an objective third-party viewpoint, objective insight into what is triggering the eating binges. A therapist will often see things you can't see - things even your parents, friends, and other people close to you can't see.
 
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Re: Help with overeating.

There is no shame or weakness in going to therapy. Sometimes issues are too deep to deal with by ourselves.

I wish you the best.
 
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Re: Help with overeating.

why do you feel so strongly you have to do this on your own? in your eyes, what does it mean, what does it say about you if you can't/don't do this on your own?
 

pandora311

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Re: Help with overeating.

why do you feel so strongly you have to do this on your own? in your eyes, what does it mean, what does it say about you if you can't/don't do this on your own?

i guess i see myself as a very independent person. i dont like to rely too heavily on anyone but myself for anything of great importance in life. i like to be in charge and in control of most situations because i can determine the outcomes to be favorable and positive. and its like, with this overeating and stuff, its like the opposite. its almost like a complete and total abandonment of control, like the total absence of control. i have heard some people who suffer from anorexia or bulimia state that they felt one reason they comitted themselves to their eating disorder was because they felt it was something they could control. i guess, in short, it would mean to me that my efforts at a healthy diet would have failed if i couldnt manage to maintain it on my own.



That sounds like you are looking at seeing a therapist as a punishment, pandora.

It's not a punishment - it's a benefit. It's about getting an objective third-party viewpoint, objective insight into what is triggering the eating binges. A therapist will often see things you can't see - things even your parents, friends, and other people close to you can't see.

i dont know why i view therapy as such a terrible thing. i wish i could embrace the idea or see it in a positive light, but i always have associated people who go to therapy as having a serious problem, and i am trying my best to really view what i am doing to myself as a serious problem, because i think it is. its not normal for someone to torture themselves with food. its just food! i just dont get why i can go a whole week of exercizing self control with my eating patterns (recently i have also been a bit more lenient with myself and allowing myself moderated treats throughout the week instead of being so rigid with the diet) and destroy all of my efforts in one night of bingeing. i dont understand how i can allow myself to tear down all the work i put into it. i know its wrong, but its like, once i am eating, i just cant stop. it feels too good, or i think it feels to good. i just dont understand how it can have such a strong hold on me. i mean, the weekend after a binge, i weighed myself, and i had put on over {{edit: amount}} pounds. from one binge!!!! its just not fair to my body, and i dont know why i cant get back into the mindset that i had before, and be able to utilize willpower the same way i did all last year when i started this diet.

Reaching out for help can be a sign of strength.

There is no shame or weakness in going to therapy. Sometimes issues are too deep to deal with by ourselves.

I wish you the best.

thank you so much for your kind words, i really think it was a good idea to come back to this website because i need someone besides my parents that i can come to for support. i guess i really do need to change my outlook on the possibility of therapy and what it could do for me. i am going to see if i can renew my efforts and dedication to being healthy. i cant keep giving myself second chances because i'm going to end up back where i was when i first started this thread in 2004, overweight and unhappy.
 
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pandora311

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Re: Help with overeating.

hello again
everytime i post here i feel as if it is going to be my last and i will really overcome my inner struggle and make some progress, but here i am again. i actually ended up going to therapy, only to feel like i was spinning my wheels. i didnt have a good connection with my therapist, she was rude to me over the phone when i first called, and when i first arrived, and changed her demeanor immediately upon entering her office. she was elderly, and i didn't feel like she could really understand where i was coming from, so i stopped going. since then, i havent gone longer than a week without a binge, and i hit rock bottom again last night. i only thought to come back to this post bc i got an email about updates on the site. i really rreeaalllly do not want to go back to therapy, and i desperately want to repair this problem myself. i just dont have the same drive i had when i first started this diet, and i just cant seem tofind my motivation since my first binge. i dont know why but its almost like i can enjoy myself mid binge, like its some big secret event, like a party and im the only one invited, and in that single moment, nothing else matters except me enjoying myself, and as soon as the food is gone, reality sets in and im disgusted with myself... which is why i keep eating more and more, i dont want that feeling to end. i know i shouldnt write therapy off after that attempt but the emotional energy it took every time i had to call the office, or drive to the appointment hardly seemed worth the benefits i was getting. i am going to make a promise to myself though that if i cannot cease this bingeing, then i am giving myself no other choice but to go back and find another therapist because i will have proven that this is too much to handle. i feel a little bit better now that i have made this post but i just cannot believe i have been carrying this thread on for so many years without resolution...especially after i thought i had this thing licked. hopefully i can either finally wrangle in my tendencies or if i am left with finding help from a different therapist, i have more success, thank you for letting me express this.
 

David Baxter

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Re: Help with overeating.

If you don't feel comfortable with that therapist, Pandora, my recommendation would be to try someone else.
 

Halo

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Re: Help with overeating.

I think David has a good point about seeing a different therapist. I know that for myself it took a long while (years actually) before I finally found a therapist that I was comfortable with that I could open up to. It was like a trial and error in finding one.
I think the key is not to give up hope in believing that there is a therapist out there that you will click with and find a good connection with. If you truly want to lick this thing as you say then keep looking and you will find someone. Don't give up hope.

Take care
 
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Re: Help with overeating.

i too think you need to keep looking for someone whom you feel comfortable with. therapy can't really work as well if you don't feel like you can talk to your therapist. therapists are people too, with some you'll get along well and with others not so well. keep trying. i recently had to make the decision to find someone new too and i am hopeful that this person will work out for me. if not, i'll just keep trying until i find someone who does. :)
 

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