Hi,
I'm here because I'm interested in psychology but I'm also here since I would like to know, if I've got a disorder of some kind or whatever else.
Ever since I was an outsider, even in kinder garden: But I more or less chose to be out of groups, I prefer solitary activities over all, further I think that most people if not all are only engaging in meaningless,superficial talks. These social events like parties or meetings are just more than boring to me.
I've got only one to two friends, I'm not sure but surely I'm quite happy having some stable contact with them(almost only through non-personal contact forms:e-mail,chatting).
I almost always consider nobody to be my friend and I easily can break up contact with people I hung out with.
I don't enjoy any social events,so I mostly stay at home all the time and read,learn, but I've engage in music and arts, too.
Most people around me think of me as cold,detached and weird, having weird ways of talking and dressing: People that do like me ,well they think of me as a normal person with good social skills. People knowing me well know that I can't use words very well to express myself.
I'm quite proud of being considered "odd" , since I don't want to be like the majority which I frankly consider not to be very smart or just liking totally different things than me, which bores me.
I don't consider myself super smart or something similar but I know which interests I have and which things I like. This may seem very arrogant and narcissistic but I can't avoid these thoughts as they have proven themselves to be right too many times(not every one understands the others).
Being bored is, too an issue: I don't seem to feel good or sad or bad most of the time.
I think very often about existence,not it's meaning but it's state: I believe that I would not be happy with a normal job and a normal life (a family a house a job you go to every day)this would bore me out of my mind.
I'm currently studying and this does not bore me that much,but I wouldn't like to do this my whole life (besides it's not possible to study your whole life as a student).
It's like there is almost nothing that can bring true satisfaction to me: I always have hopes in research in any thing that could help humanity as a task just to see if this would satisfy me, to help, instead of just living.
On the other hand this may not be very rewarding as my interests lie in arts and music and may make me happy of some sort or relaxed but these got no future and there is no good reason that they could bring me an existential satisfaction,too.(but then again it's really unimportant if something makes you happy or satisfied, as long as you live, that's what I think,as well).
That's enough for a description of myself. It's not that I want help since I don't want to change but I just want to know if there is a name or names for all this,then I would do further research on this.
OK, thank you for reading, I appreciate every comment.
I'm here because I'm interested in psychology but I'm also here since I would like to know, if I've got a disorder of some kind or whatever else.
Ever since I was an outsider, even in kinder garden: But I more or less chose to be out of groups, I prefer solitary activities over all, further I think that most people if not all are only engaging in meaningless,superficial talks. These social events like parties or meetings are just more than boring to me.
I've got only one to two friends, I'm not sure but surely I'm quite happy having some stable contact with them(almost only through non-personal contact forms:e-mail,chatting).
I almost always consider nobody to be my friend and I easily can break up contact with people I hung out with.
I don't enjoy any social events,so I mostly stay at home all the time and read,learn, but I've engage in music and arts, too.
Most people around me think of me as cold,detached and weird, having weird ways of talking and dressing: People that do like me ,well they think of me as a normal person with good social skills. People knowing me well know that I can't use words very well to express myself.
I'm quite proud of being considered "odd" , since I don't want to be like the majority which I frankly consider not to be very smart or just liking totally different things than me, which bores me.
I don't consider myself super smart or something similar but I know which interests I have and which things I like. This may seem very arrogant and narcissistic but I can't avoid these thoughts as they have proven themselves to be right too many times(not every one understands the others).
Being bored is, too an issue: I don't seem to feel good or sad or bad most of the time.
I think very often about existence,not it's meaning but it's state: I believe that I would not be happy with a normal job and a normal life (a family a house a job you go to every day)this would bore me out of my mind.
I'm currently studying and this does not bore me that much,but I wouldn't like to do this my whole life (besides it's not possible to study your whole life as a student).
It's like there is almost nothing that can bring true satisfaction to me: I always have hopes in research in any thing that could help humanity as a task just to see if this would satisfy me, to help, instead of just living.
On the other hand this may not be very rewarding as my interests lie in arts and music and may make me happy of some sort or relaxed but these got no future and there is no good reason that they could bring me an existential satisfaction,too.(but then again it's really unimportant if something makes you happy or satisfied, as long as you live, that's what I think,as well).
That's enough for a description of myself. It's not that I want help since I don't want to change but I just want to know if there is a name or names for all this,then I would do further research on this.
OK, thank you for reading, I appreciate every comment.