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Dori623

Member
Joined
Sep 5, 2007
Messages
5
Points
1
Hi,
I'm a little nervouse I've never done anything like this. My name is Sara, and I have a lot in life, wonderful family, loving and caring friends. I act for a living, as ironic as that sounds. I get paid to be a pathological liar every day, and it gives me some sort of satisfaction, when I'm on the stage living someone else's life, and that would be fine, if I left it on the stage. I tend to base my whole life off of something that it's not. I find myself telling friends just simple lies, but these simple lies pile up that it's all I'm telling them, and after a while, it becomes true in my own head, until my friends find out the truth. And the thing is I can't remember lying to them, even though I know I am. Somehow I'm always able to talk myself out of it, by convincing them that I wasn't lying, or something may have simply been "a little" over exaggerated, but I'd like to find a way to where I can talk to my friends and be sure that I'm not lying to them, even when I'm not aware that I'm lying to them.
 

Dori623

Member
Joined
Sep 5, 2007
Messages
5
Points
1
self-concept

Developing Insight into Self-Concept

The way my mother talks/talked to me: she talks down to me

She makes/made me feel: Angry a lot of the time, but I love her more than anyone

The way my father talks/talked to me: as an equal

He makes/made me feel: annoyed sometimes

In my family, I am/was the one who: was always the "favorite"

Today, people perceive me as the one who: can be trusted with anything

Previously, I really felt loved when: I was getting the attention

Presently, I feel loved when: I'm with my family, or friends

I would like to communicate differently in this way: honestly

I worry that people perceive me as: not good enough

I would like people to see me as I really am. That is, I would like them to see: compassion for what I do, and the people I love.

I answered as truthfully as possible
 

Dori623

Member
Joined
Sep 5, 2007
Messages
5
Points
1
insight

INSIGHT INTO NEGATIVE FEELINGS

1. ANGER AND BLAME

I resent... my first and only boyfriend

I'm outraged by... the fact that I never seem to be "good enough"

I'm fed up with... feeling sorry for myself

I can't stand... people who joke about suicide

I hate... being alone

I can't forgive... cheaters

I needed... love


2. HURT AND SADNESS

I feel hurt by... my friend who said he'd always be there for me, and then dissapeared

I feel sad when... I think about the fact that I haven't had a romantic relationship since 4 years ago

I'm disappointed because... I expected more out of my high school experience

I feel awful because... I don't want to live up to others expectations

I want... to feel wanted


3. FEAR AND INSECURITY

I am anxious because... I want to feel like I did good

I am afraid that... I lose what I have

What scares me is... chainsaws, and loud noises

I'm worried about... growing up

I want... to know that I'll be okay


4. GUILT AND RESPONSIBILITY

I regret.... not being smarter about decisions I've made

I may be to blame for... breaking some friendships apart

I feel sympathy for... those who don't have what they need

I didn't mean to... lie

Forgive me for... betraying the people that I love

I wish... that I was normal


5. FORGIVENESS, UNDERSTANDING, DESIRE, AND LOVE

I appreciate... my family

I realize... that I work hard

I forgive... my friends for not standing by me

I value... the friends who are standing by me

I love... my cat's

I want... to be useful

I hope... I can fix what's broken

I just need some help
 

ladylore

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Hi Dori :hello:,

Welcome to the forum. I found through my own recovery process that it becomes easier and easier to tell the truth for the mere fact that the truth is far more easier to tell and more interesting then the lies.

Life gets easier to as you won't have to keep backtracking incase you forget what you told certain people.

So relax, read on and just be yourself.

Welcome again

Ladylore
 

ladylore

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Re: Insight into Feelings

Can you be a bit more specific about what you need help with. Some of us may be able to give you some insight, support or leads to other resources.
 

David Baxter

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Mar 26, 2004
Messages
38,047
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Re: Insight into Self-Concept

The way my mother talks/talked to me: she talks down to me

In my family, I am/was the one who: was always the "favorite"

Previously, I really felt loved when: I was getting the attention

I would like to communicate differently in this way: honestly

I worry that people perceive me as: not good enough

These are the items that stood out for me in your answers. Explore those further. These are probably what are underlying your need to lie.
 

Halo

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Jul 19, 2005
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Welcome to Psychlinks Dori :welcome2:

I am glad that you decided to join us and I hope to see you around :wave:
 

Dori623

Member
Joined
Sep 5, 2007
Messages
5
Points
1
pretty much I spend all my time with my friends, I have 3 of them that are my closest, but they had never met each other. So I had told each of them about experiences I had had with the others. Though some of what I told them wasn't true, or wasn't entirely true, some of it was over exagerated. I'm not really sure why, maybe to make it look like I was the better friend. Eventually they met each other, and began noticing that they knew stuff about each other that either wasn't true, or was never supposed to be shared. All 3 of these friends called me out on what I did, and the thing was I hadn't realized that I was doing it, until my friends realized it, even after they caught me in it, I was convinced that I hadn't lied so much to my closest friends, and of course 2 of the 3 believe me, but the more I think about it, the more I wish that I could tell them the truth from this moment on, but even now, sometimes I find myself saying something to them that wasn't true. I am getting better with it, if I catch myself in time, I can back track and say what's true, but sometimes it's too late, and I don't think my friends would understand, nor forgive me if they knew that I lie about so much. I just want to get over it, and move on, then I'll be happy with my friends, and they'd be happy with me.
 

ThatLady

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Nov 4, 2004
Messages
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:welcome: , Dori!

You've got an excellent opportunity here to do exactly what you want to do. Your friends know you've said things that weren't true in the past. That gives you a really great platform from which to start to break this bad habit.

You can begin by explaining to your friends what you're trying to do. Tell them you've had a problem with embellishing things and you want to break the habit. Then, when speaking with one (or more) of them, if you find yourself starting to say something that isn't true, you can just stop where you are and tell the person outright: "Oops. I'm doing it again. Let me start over. Okay?" Then, begin again and this time, just tell the truth. You'd be surprised how much good friends want to help. If they're really good friends, they'll jump on the bandwagon with you and help you put this bad habit behind you. After all, they already know you've got the problem so you don't have to start from scratch. :)
 

Dori623

Member
Joined
Sep 5, 2007
Messages
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Points
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Thank you, it's nice to know that there are people out there who understand.. I was affraid that I wouldn't be able to talk about it to my friends. But I have been thinking about telling them, if they're true friends, they'll understand right??
 

ThatLady

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Messages
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Absolutely right, Dori. If, indeed, they are true friends, they will understand and want to help. Everybody has problems. Nobody's perfect. If a friend needs help, a true friend is going to be there with the help needed. :)
 

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