Hi... I'm new and a little lost....

[goldilox]

Hi. Please bear with me; I've not done anything like this so I'm a little lost.

I'm a soon to be 37 housewife with 3 children.

My mother-in-law was a paranoid schizophrenic. My husband has severe depression since she died 3 years ago and has been showing signs of schizophrenia, i.e., the auditory hallucinations. He has seen a psychiatrist and is on the waiting list for psychotherapy. He hears voices and sometimes sees people that aren't there. He suffers horrific nightmares and has horrendous thoughts on how he could kill people, etc. He has panic attacks and constantly picks on me. He sometimes forgets we've had conversations and other times thinks we have when we haven't.

What am I dealing with here? Has anyone got any suggestions as we've been togther 8 years. He is currently living with his dad because our children are very young and it became too much! I'm just looking to chat and hear from others that may understand him or what I'm going through.

 

[Daniel E.]

Welcome, Golidox

:welcome2:

 

[ladylore]

Welcome to Psychlinks.

There is plenty to read. You may want to start by looking around the forum, specifically under the schizophrenia topic.

Feel free to join in on a coversation when you feel ready.

Again - welcome.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Welcome, goldilox.

Your first priority is definitely to ensure the safety and well-being of you and your children. Most individuals with schizophrenia are not dangerous to others once they are stabilized on medication, as long as they continue to take the medications regularly and do not abuse alcohol or non-prescription drugs. However, it's not clear whether your husband at present has been stabilized on medications yet. For some individuals, it can take up to 5 years to accomplish that.

You can find some information on how to cope with a family member who has schizophrenia in the Psychlinks Schizophrenia Forum here, especially:

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/schizoph...24-schizophrenia-a-handbook-for-families.html

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/schizoph...er-s-guides-to-coping-with-schizophrenia.html

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/schizophrenia-and-related-disorders/5126-spouses-handbook.html

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/schizoph...izophrenia-causes-risk-factors-treatment.html

 

[NicNak]

:hithere: Goldilox :welcome: to Psychlinks.

It is very good that he already sees a Psychiatrist. Has he told his Psychiatrist that he hears voices and sometimes sees things that are not there? Changes of symptoms are so important to let the Psychiatrist know.

Is he currently on medication? Does he take them as prescribed?

 

[Jazzey]

Hi goldilox - welcome to Psychlinks

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I have family members with schizophrenia.

I hope you can find the answers you're looking for here. There is an inordinate amount of resources.

In the meantime, I'm linking you to the schizophrenia forum. Feel free to post some questions there for the membership.
Schizophrenia & Related Disorders - Psychlinks Psychology Self-Help & Mental Health Support Forum

 

[Halo]

Welcome to Psychlinks Golidox :welcome2:

 

[goldilox]

hi...thanks youve all been fantastic.....he has told the physciatrists regarding the voices etc well he tells me he has but ive a support worker and a carers assesment from the mental health team so i keep them informed myself so he gets the right help. He hasnt been put on meds he refused them and for sum reason they said thats ok for now he will have intense physcotherepy for a year and go from there, i guess its early stages he was only referred by his gp last aug and has had nothing but assesments for a long period of time he seemed to off slipped the net around xmas time wen his key worker was sick nothing was chased up until i got in touch of the carers support service and pals and theyve taken it from there so things are back on track but some wot back at the begining.

 

[white page]

Welcome to Psychlinks Golidox,
I am so glad you found us , you have already been given very useful links , we are here for you , to support you and listen to you .

It is so wise to ensure the safety of yourself and your little ones .
I know how scary it is to be with a husband and father who has a very different reality from what is actually happening .

take care wp

 

[NicNak]

I really hope he re considers medication. They are quite helpful with helping to manage the panic attacks and other symptoms.

There is no reason for him to suffer those symptoms when medications can usually take the edge off.

I have panic attacks too and now that I have meds, I can't imagine going back to how it was.

I am glad the Psychiatrist has your input and you have the other supports. They can be most helpful too.

 

[goldilox]

im so glad i found you guys....a friend of mine suggested i look for forums and i found this and already youve all given me a little lift.....so thank you

 

[white page]

Glad to know that Goldilox

 

[forgetmenot]

Welcome, Goldilox, glad you're here. I too have family members with this illness and glad to see you have gotten professional help for your husband. You did the right thing protecting your children. Take care mary

 

[Retired]

Hello Goldilox!

Welcome to Psychlinks. Glad you found us and hope you find the information here that will help you and your family.

What are the reasons your husband refused medications? Sometimes people diagnosed with psychiatric disorders have misconceptions about the role of medications, or due to embarrassment or other concerns refuse them. If the diagnosis were diabetes or coronary artery disease, there would likely be less apprehension about life saving medication intervention, but sometimes there is misinformed apprehension about taking psychotropic medication.

Psychiatric disorders are usually due to chemical imbalances in brain chemistry, much like diabetes is a chemical imbalance in the pancreas.

Medications can restore the right chemical balance and give back one's quality of life.

By informing yourself, as you are doing, you can share this information with your husband to make him aware of his options.

Is your husband receiving treatment for his depression? Is the depression under control at this time?

What resources for information and support do you have locally, such as support groups, mental health services etc.

I've attached a three pdf brochures for your information that you may wish to save and or print.

The first is an overview of schizophrenia, and the other is "Staying Well with Mental Illness", which your husband might find helpful. The third is an overview of the illness of depression.

 

[healthbound]

Hi Goldilox. I'm so glad your friend suggested us and you decided to check us out.

It sounds like you've been doing everything possible to take care of you, your kids and your husband. I also hope he is able to get on some medication as well as get the appropriate treatment so he can stabilize soon.

As a mom with kids I imagine it must have been terrifying to witness your husband and the father of your children change so dramatically in recent years. Especially with him having ideas/thoughts about various ways of killing people. That must have been very scary and somewhat surreal for you too. I commend you on taking the right steps to ensure you and your children's safety by relocating him outside of your home. I also commend you for making sure the appropriate professionals are aware of what he is experiencing.

Do you have a strong support network for yourself? There are so many challenges with mental illness...and it certainly sounds like you are doing all the right things, but I wonder if you have an outlet for yourself?

Welcome again...glad you found us.

 

[Budoaiki]

Hi Goldilox,

Welcome to Psychlinks as you can see there are a lot of very caring and helpful people here along with some great resources that can help you through these hard times.

I also have a family member who is living with schizophrenia and it can be hard even at the best of times. Are there any schizophrenia support groups in your area? You could check with your local hospital if you are interested.

It can be intimidating even contemplating going to one but I found a great deal of help there from other people who had and have family members with it and even from people living with it. They provided a great deal of insight on dealing with people in different stages and types of schizophrenia.

 

[texasgirl]

Hi Goldilox - Welcome to Psychlinks.

I can only add to the excellent advice that everyone has given you so far here that you are very right to protect yourself and your children first and foremost. Unless your husband has been stabilized, which, if he indeed has schizophrenia, most often does require medication, you could be in a very unpredictable situation. My previous husband refused to take medication and it was very very hard on me and my kids.

I'm glad you joined the forum. It is the best, for sure.

Take care,

TG

 

[goldilox]

hi guys, he refused medication because he thinks if they give him that he'll just be forgotten about and they wont dig any deeper to solve his depression etc, he doesn't want to be handed pills and then forgotten about which i could understand at the time but he has got worse over the last few months.....i very recently have been offered lots of support, I'm waiting on counselling from the carers support team and the mental health team, I'm on a call back service where they check up on me and the kids and also theres a group meeting once a month for people in my situation where we can talk to one another and professionals that are there to explain certain behaviours etc. As i say this is very recent, Ive been dealing with it for a year at least by myself as i was worried to inform my GP the school etc but i was very relieved to discover there was so much support available. Thank you for all your help and advice, i will be looking into the links you've provided for me.

 

[NicNak]

Hi again Goldilox.

That is wonderful you have a good support structure to help you out. I am so glad for that.

Regarding your husbands concernes about medication and being forgotten about. There are many of us on the forum here who are currently taking medication.

I have personally not felt "forgotten about" by my doctors while on medication or otherwise.

All I can say is the sooner he starts medication and treatments, the better chance of him stabalizing.

I hope somehow he realizes that even with medication, no one forgets about us. And that he will try the meds. They have worked wonders for me.

 

[SueW]

Hello Goldilox and welcome

I am new too and also finding my way around.

Re medication for schizophrenia - I have worked on a psychiatric ward as a healthworker (not a qualified nurse) and seen many people with schizophrenia. I also have two friends who suffer with schizophrenia. My experience of all these people is varied. Some have found medication brilliant and some have found it had unpleasant side effects. I guess whether your husband decides to take meds or not will depend on how it benefits him. Some people seem to manage without because the condition is not so severe. The main thing is that you all do the right thing for you and do what is best for you.

Sue