Hello to all. It has been awhile since I have been in, but, you are never far from my thoughts, any of you. But, tonite I am feeling somewhat introspective and wanted to give an update on myself. I do it only hoping that it helps even one person. You have all helped me countless times, so I want to hopefully, return the favour.
It was 4 years this past December that Dave, my hubby, and I suffered the trauma that got us this lovely label of PTSD. And I can tell you, this is the first Xmas I actually enjoyed. It wasn't all rainbows and roses, but it was better. In fact, I was so excited to have good moments that I left my Xmas tree up until the beginning of May! I know, crazy, but, at night, I would turn the lights on and it felt good.
Don't get me wrong, there are still days when I can't get the energy to get my butt out of bed, but, there are more good days. More light, more love and less negative. I have started my own small mantra each day, I tell myself that it will be a good day, that I am a good person and that I can make it through today. It might not always work, but I still do it.
I have a wonderful new psychiatrist, and although I chickened out, I am going back on Tuesday. My birthday........great!
She has helped me, at least partially, get through all the crap from my own Dad. I know I still have work to do to put him to rest once and for all, but I am damned well determined to get there. I don't need his crap anymore. Funny how the passing of a person really doesn't alleviate the issues, it almost makes it more frustrating. He isn't here for me to face and yell at.
And then we move on to that terrible day. I know it is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done, but, I have to find a way to deal with Dave's dad. I have to. I HAVE TO.
I have been struggling with my busted up back for over a year now, and I know that is a contributing factor to how I feel some days. I don't like feeling useless and I think having too much time on my hands is always touch and go. I hate not being able to work, but, I keep hoping that is going to get better too.
I know it isn't gone, I won't kid myself about that again, but, I am fighting for me, and I intend to keep fighting.
As always, I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I love you all. :inlove::inlove::inlove:
It was 4 years this past December that Dave, my hubby, and I suffered the trauma that got us this lovely label of PTSD. And I can tell you, this is the first Xmas I actually enjoyed. It wasn't all rainbows and roses, but it was better. In fact, I was so excited to have good moments that I left my Xmas tree up until the beginning of May! I know, crazy, but, at night, I would turn the lights on and it felt good.
Don't get me wrong, there are still days when I can't get the energy to get my butt out of bed, but, there are more good days. More light, more love and less negative. I have started my own small mantra each day, I tell myself that it will be a good day, that I am a good person and that I can make it through today. It might not always work, but I still do it.
I have a wonderful new psychiatrist, and although I chickened out, I am going back on Tuesday. My birthday........great!
She has helped me, at least partially, get through all the crap from my own Dad. I know I still have work to do to put him to rest once and for all, but I am damned well determined to get there. I don't need his crap anymore. Funny how the passing of a person really doesn't alleviate the issues, it almost makes it more frustrating. He isn't here for me to face and yell at.
And then we move on to that terrible day. I know it is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done, but, I have to find a way to deal with Dave's dad. I have to. I HAVE TO.
I have been struggling with my busted up back for over a year now, and I know that is a contributing factor to how I feel some days. I don't like feeling useless and I think having too much time on my hands is always touch and go. I hate not being able to work, but, I keep hoping that is going to get better too.
I know it isn't gone, I won't kid myself about that again, but, I am fighting for me, and I intend to keep fighting.
As always, I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I love you all. :inlove::inlove::inlove:
