How Acceptance Helps Pain

[David Baxter PhD]

How Acceptance Helps Pain
by Mary Beth in How to Cope with Pain
August 16, 2012



The book Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach has helped me deal with my chronic pain condition, CRPS (Complex Regional Pain Syndrome). It has taught me the importance of being kind to myself - although I?ll admit I still find it much easier to be kind to everyone around me than to show kindness towards myself.

The author discusses accepting everything in our lives without trying to control or judge what?s happening. When we accept our lives, we can learn to stop blaming ourselves for our physical pains and limitations. It?s a relief to realize that being compassionate to myself is healthy and healing.

Accepting ourselves completely is a tough lesson to learn. It?s easy to slip back into thinking we?re letting our loved ones down due to our medical problems. We wish our families didn?t have to endure our limitations. But everyone has limitations of some kind. Whether it?s limited time due to a busy job or not having enough money to pay your bills, we all have constraints.

So accepting that this is the way life is right now, and reducing our guilt is calming. It can even allow us to take better care of ourselves. Personally, when I do this, I also am better able to be a good parent and spouse.

The following quote helps me remember to be kind to myself. ?You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.? ? Buddha

By loving ourselves we can love others and see the blessings in our everyday lives. And that?s what fills our hearts.
? Mary Beth

 

[ladybug1966]

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” – Buddha

Sheesh. I have that quote on my wallpaper. I could have written this post backwards, meaning: "How do you do this?!!? Be compassionate to me? Are you kidding? That makes me sick to think about it." It is hard! .. but completely on target. I completely understand this objectively, but can't seem to grasp my fingers, mind, and body around accepting myself, my life, and everything that comes with it/me. I can accept me for me, but accept everything that comes with me and my life? - that's when I seem to not get it (in my warped mind). Rationally, it all makes perfect sense and I hope to eventually get to complete acceptance and love the real me and my entirety. I know it would bring great peace to my mind and soul. I also know that until I do, any relationship I find myself in, will not be whole or true. It's a goal that I keep fighting for.

Thanks for sharing.

 

[Bumblebean]

About 25 years ago I mentioned to a couple of people who also live with chronic pain that I had reached a point of acceptance. They went nuclear on me, thinking I meant that I had given up, saying they would never give up. It was very hard to explain that I felt that when you see and accept things as they are, you have more mental and emotional energy to put into making the best of whatever your circumstances, which helped me a lot. I'm not sure this is exactly what the writer is saying, and I know I have a long way to go when it comes to accepting myself - though I'm more kind to myself than I used to be - but the effect of acceptance in general has been huge. I don't know how else to explain that my pain is many times worse than it was at that time but that I'm living with it more easily than I did then. I'm glad I saw this, it's good to be reminded, and to have a new angle as well to look at things from.

Thanks,

BB

 

[H011yHawkJ311yBean]

Wow, hadn't seen this post yet. Going to refer that book to my hubby. He's always going through a lot of chronic pain. Thanks for posting this Dr. Baxter, and thanks for bringing it to the surface, Bumblebean! ^_^