How can I overcome my problem?

[SoConfused]

My life sucks. I need serious help.

I've been hiding from everyone that goes to my high school.

I've skipped a lot during grade 9 till now (grade 12) this is my last semester and i just want to end it right. i want to be able to talk to people but that's one of my problems, I'm so shy and nervous.

I actually think I'm not myself when I'm in public.. its like a switch that turns off and on. And actually i don't even know who i really am. I'll talk like I'm a bad *** saying all these slang but i don't think thats me. I don't know how to be myself around others because i don't even know who i am. People at my school are so happy together. On Facebook i can see that they are enjoying life. going to clubs and everything. Me i have nothing. Like they know who they are. They show there talents like music, art photography but i have no talent. I have no hobbies. I'm not good at anything only basketball...

The friends i have right now don't even consider as friends. I have no connection with them. We smoke weed and talk about the same stuff. I want that to end. I want to find who i am. But its so hard because i think I'm going crazy.

i have no feelings for my loved ones anymore. like i don't know how love feels. I cant say i love my mom or dad because i don't know what it is. my parents come home late everyday which means i have dinner at 8 or 9. my connection with my family suck. i hardly see my sisters. I just feel so lost in this world. All i have is myself. I don't know what to do but stay home play video games, workout and go on Facebook to see how much people are having fun. High school is almost over. I'm done for.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Re: My life sucks. I need serious help.

Hello, SoConfused. Welcome to Psychlinks.

Do you think anyone in your family knows about the difficulty you're having? how anxious you feel? What would happen if you told your parents that you wanted to see a counsellor to help you with your anxiety and shyness?

Do you have a family doctor? If you can't talk to your parents, perhaps that would be a starting point.

Or what about a counsellor at school? Do they have one in your school? If not, maybe a teacher you get along with could give you some advice.

Part of the problem is that you seem to be rather a negative thinker:

I have no talent. I have no hobbies. I'm not good at anything only basketball...

I don't know what to do but stay home play video games, workout and go on Facebook

Do you see the negativity and contradictions in what you say here? You have no talent and you're not good at anything. Well, except basketball... and video games. So you are good at some things.

See:

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/cbt-cogn...lings-and-the-thoughts-that-control-them.html

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/cbt-cogn...y/1451-the-ten-forms-of-twisted-thinking.html

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/cbt-cogn.../18058-ten-ways-to-untwist-your-thinking.html

 

[forgetmenot]

Re: My life sucks. I need serious help.

Just want to say welcome to PL and to say i am sorry you feel so alone. I think if you can just talk to your parents and let them know just how alone you feel maybe they can set up some other things you can do. Have you tried joining any groups at school or other activities after school just so you are not so alone. You say you are almost finished grade 12 that is good because i found once i went to college i made more friends i connected more to people because we had the same interest. I hope you can just talk to someone okay as it won't get better unless you tell someone so things can change. You can talk to you GP even and see if he can help you. take care okay try to open up to someone don't stay alone with this any longer.

 

[SoConfused]

Hi i posted here the day I joined and i have still had the same problem. I've gotten a little bit more comfortable with myself but it's just isn't enough. I am a really shy guy and really quiet. I feel like when i talk to someone i'm not relaxed and im always trying to think of something to say because i'm a very boring person. I never have things to say because i have been living life on my computer the whole 4 years in highschool.

Today i went out with my friends and ate some wings in a empty parking lot when some girls that go to my school came by to pick up my friend to got o a party. I tried to force myself to say hi which i did and made myself look like a fool.

At school im hardly friends with anyone because im hardly there. I skip a lot of school like alot... and i dont know why. When i wake up in the morning i feel like nothing matters to me and i feel lazy and just want to sleep. Okay well im 17 years old and almost done high school and like i still don't know what i want to be in life. Thats my problem... i dont know who i am, i don't know what i like doing like my hobbies or interest. All i know is that i spend most of my time on the computer...

Okay but here is why i think i feel really awkward around people. My clothes and how i present myself. Okay i'm a decent looking Filipino guy and where i live which is in Ontario there are hardly any Filipino people. There is but like they are white washed or something. I feel like I'm not good enough to talk to white people... i have no idea why. like white girls are really pretty and tall... why would they like a 5'6 Filipino guy. Okay i'm really getting off track here so like me just make this quick.

1) I have no money which means no job. That mean i dont have money to spend on new clothes or a car. i live in a rich area and im probably the poorest one here. Idont even remember the last time i bought new clothes.. So when people look at me there like i swear i saw him wear that yesterday.

2) I'm really lazy. I have no interest in anything.. i dont know why i just dont. I like basketball, girls and yea.. My hobbies are playing basketball and computer. I'm just a really boring person so when someone talks to me i never can relate or continue a conversation.

3) I can't speak properly. My vocabulary sucks. When i speak i stumble or mumble a lot. I've also notice i really suck at spelling.

4) I never have things to say. I can never connect with someone or start a nice conversation with someone. I cant hold up a conversation long which leads to a awkward silence.

5) I feel like nothing matters to me. Like i dont feel love for people. its hard for me to feel the love of my family, but once i get really close with a girl i actually feel my feelings for her but i go overboard and scare her away. This also effects my school. I always skip. I always just sleep in. When this happens i never think about anything else but how tired i am. I get in trouble a lot with my teachers and everyone at school hardly sees me and when they do there like OH your at school!

Basically this sums up who i am and my problems. I've tried to develop myself into become the best i can be but it's just so hard when i have no money or no real friends or no real person to talk to when im in need or no family to lean on. Im not really close with my family because of past events that happened to my sisters. One got a baby at 16. she has two kids now and my parent are always stressed out. i never had a normal family life. i never get attention and im always home a lone. my parents come home really late. Okay i gotta stop talking or else no one would even want to read this. bye.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Hello again, Confused.

I merged the two threads since they are about the same issues.

Did you look into the suggestions we gave you above?

 

[SoConfused]

I have but things arent getting better. I thank you for your support but i dont know how to deal with my life right now. i feel like im playing a game or something.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Have you talked to your parents about seeing a counselor?

 

[rdw]

Hey SoConfused

Have you tried to speak with someone at your school? If you are skipping school alot someone will have noticed your absences whether it is the school counsellor or a teacher or a secretary. Not knowing what you want to do or be after high school is quite a common feeling. This is a difficult time and there seem to be an overwhelming number of decisions to be made. However those decisions only need to be made one at a time. And trust me there are people in a school building who are more than willing to help you through this. Good luck.