How can things we don't recall effect us?

[Murray]

Hey there, not sure if I am posting this in the right category, so sorry of it is wrong.

I am sure that this has been addressed before so once again sorry.

It has just always baffled me that events that we don't have any real recollection of can have such an impact on our mental health and well being. I guess I just don't understand how something that we don't remember can affect us.

My little brothers were 2 years old and 1 year old when their father murdered someone in front of them. They then ended up in foster care which is how my mom came to care for them and eventually adopt them. Now, they were so young that they have no memories of this time, but they both are having mental health issues, especially the older one. It just doesn't make sense to me. My heart just breaks for them. I had hoped that since they were now in a loving safe environment, and all of their memories are of this environment, that they would be okay. That doesn't seem to be the case, though.

As for me, I don't remember much of my childhood, and very little of the abuse, just a few flashes, so it makes no sense that it should bother me. I could see if I had lots of memories of horrible things happening, that would be awful and I could see me being affected by that. My mom for example, remembers lots of bad stuff so I completely understand her having issues-it makes sense to me. All of my stupid issues don't make sense to me. It's not logical to me that things I don't remember continue to have an effect in my present. I don't know what I am trying to say here, sorry I am just rambling on and not making any sense.

 

[forgetmenot]

Re: how can things we don't recall effect us?

You are making sense Murray the trama although not remember fully is still present in the back of our mind so the emotions the fear are still there but just hidden deeply. with flash backs it is a certain trigger that will make these emotions come to the surface even though the content of what happen is not clear the emotions are. The little ones were so very young but the trauma they suffered is still in their psyche in their mind somewhere so it will cause them to fear others and have anxiety and rightly so. The incident taught them to beware to not trust. I hope this makes sense. I don't remember everything but somehow the pain the sadness is still there but i choose now to not try to remember any more i choose to just move forward and heal with therapy I am glad you are getting help too because although we don't remember the past it stays with us somehow it just does

 

[David Baxter PhD]

That's more or less correct.

The "adult" memory system is not really functional until about age 3, which is why most people have little or no memory for events that happen prior to age 3.

However, that doesn't mean that memories of experiences prior to age 3 are erased or lost. Rather, they are difficult to retrieve under normal circumstances using the adult memory system and so for all intents and purposes we have no conscious memories. The adult memory system appears to be large based on the meaning extracted from experiences (semantic memory) and retrieving memories involves searching through a system of "tags", similar to a library card file or a database. The pre-adult system is more like a video linked to emotions. Under certain special circumstances, these early memories may be retrieved, but even if full memory is not retrieved the emotional aspect of those memories may emerge into consciousness when certain triggers occur or when the world around you evokes similar emotions.