How to handle child abusing neighbors?

[BluMac81]

So yesturday I spent a great deal of time with my friend, and she told me about an experience in a certain apartment complex she lived in recently. She said almost daily she could see her neighbor, the dad of this 3 year old whipping the 3 year old boy with his belt to get him to do things. He would hit him with the belt hard near the head because 'he wasn't going up the stairs fast enough', the child was whailing in pain trying to get up the stairs as fast as he could.

My 34 year old friend had gone through similiar abuse as a child, and wasn't going to put up with it. So she went straight to their door while the abuse was going on, and told them to stop. And that she was going to call the cops if they didn't. The mother said 'go ahead! call them...mind your own business...oh and by the way we'll get you kicked out' (apparently these people were buddy buddy with the managers.)

My friend did call the police on them, and as it turns out, in Colorado, as long as a mark isn't left on the child, there is nothing the police can do. Apparently they had just made it so the abuse would leave no marks on the child.

Finally she was indeed kicked out of that apartment complex. For reasons unknown but most likely having to do with those corrupt 'friends of the managers' SLASH 'child-abusers'.

THIS is what started stirring in my head at 5:30 in the AM (after getting to bed at 12:30am, naturally not the morning person it is odd for me to get up this early). I tossed and turned thinking about what I would do in this situation. And how I would be equally outraged at the constant abuse going on next door. I continued to toss and turn thinking about if I was in that situation would I come over and beat up the father like he was beating up his child (see how it felt!), or maybe, more civily try to explain to them why they should not beat their child (from a psychological standpoint), or worse yet... come over with a weapon (not necessarily a gun) and threaten them to stop it. But I know I wouldn't be able to stand by as such a thing went on. And it DOES go on in today's society, that's a reality. And eventually I am going to have to face it, and in not taking action to stop the abuse I am as guilty as the abuser from my view.

Its a sad state of affairs but...

What would you do? Would you be as outraged? What would the most sensible thing be to do?

Thanks.

 

[white page]

Hi BluMac ,
This is an important subject to bring up , I believe that every responsable adult should protect any child who is being abused . However direct intervention can very often worsen the fate of the vulnerable child and lead to even greater drama. The best approach is to address a complaint to the social services , leaving your name, professionals know how to deal with tricky parents and can read the signs of an abused child. In some countries there are hot lines available for situations such as this.
It is better to have the role of a witness , rather than the one of an aggresor
of a abusive parent . It is the child who should be acknowledged as a victim not the violent parent . I would always call the professionals in cases such as this . And of course intervene if the child was in imminent danger.
I hope this helps .


best wishes white page

 

[Into The Light]

i think white page is right. going in directly probably does make things worse for the child.

it really breaks my heart.

contact social services or child services (whatever they may be called in your area) and explain to them what you have witnessed. they will investigate and hopefully the child will be helped.

edit: another thought i just had. document each incidence. create a history of what is seen. heck, get out your digital camera and take a photo if you see the same thing happening over and over again. there's evidence right there. give it to social services. stay in touch with them. keep reporting it.

 

[ladylore]

Great insight White Pages. Children's Services needed to be called. They would have to do a follow up, at least.

 

[BluMac81]

Hi BluMac ,
This is an important subject to bring up , I believe that every responsable adult should protect any child who is being abused . However direct intervention can very often worsen the fate of the vulnerable child and lead to even greater drama. The best approach is to address a complaint to the social services , leaving your name, professionals know how to deal with tricky parents and can read the signs of an abused child. In some countries there are hot lines available for situations such as this.
It is better to have the role of a witness , rather than the one of an aggresor
of a abusive parent . It is the child who should be acknowledged as a victim not the violent parent . I would always call the professionals in cases such as this . And of course intervene if the child was in imminent danger.
I hope this helps .


best wishes white page

Ahh that makes sense, and I agree whitepage. A person cannot deny, however, (especially those persons containing testosterone) that a certain level of rage / urge to defend the helpless in a violent way is present when witnessing such horrendous acts. But it is those persons of intelligence that show self-control and restraint when they choose not to act aggresively in this manner but rather use governmental resources. That being said, you hit the nail on the head too that if the child were in immediate danger of loss of life or limb, not only would the authorities need be contacted but being the one nearest to such an occurance you would need to step in and at least act as a defender of the child temporarily. Some parents should not be parents...

 

[Elizabeth]

That is awful I too wouldnt sit by and do nothing I would got to Social Services anomonously, so sad that this still goes on, will there be a day abuse will end forever, one can only hope..