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Behaviorists Behaving Badly - Why Albert Ellis Isn't Allowed at The Albert Ellis Institute
Ellis’s ideas about mental health were born of his own physical frailty. For much of his childhood, his body kept failing him. Born in Pittsburgh and reared in the Bronx, he was a sickly child who was repeatedly hospitalized for a series of ailments, most notably nephritis—chronic inflammation of the kidneys—which once sent him to New York Presbyterian for a ten-month stretch. As a bedridden 9-year-old, Ellis must have picked up a number of coping techniques, most usefully that of acceptance: He was confined to a hospital bed—deal with it.
Acceptance is a big thing in REBT, the three cornerstones of which are “unconditional self-acceptance,” “unconditional other acceptance,” and “unconditional life acceptance.” Your mother never told you she loved you? That’s her right as a “fallible ****ed-up human,” as Ellis would say, and often does. There are worse things in life than not being told you’re loved by your mother, he argues. Don’t “awfulize” such neglect; use rational thinking to understand that another person’s poor behavior has nothing to do with your sense of identity or potential for happiness. Ellis, an avid reader of philosophy in his teens, credits Epictetus with steering him toward the guiding principle that our emotional responses to upsetting actions—not the actions themselves—are what create anxiety and depression. And if we construct our unhappiness, then, REBT’s reasoning goes, we can also break it apart.
Ellis’s ideas about mental health were born of his own physical frailty. For much of his childhood, his body kept failing him. Born in Pittsburgh and reared in the Bronx, he was a sickly child who was repeatedly hospitalized for a series of ailments, most notably nephritis—chronic inflammation of the kidneys—which once sent him to New York Presbyterian for a ten-month stretch. As a bedridden 9-year-old, Ellis must have picked up a number of coping techniques, most usefully that of acceptance: He was confined to a hospital bed—deal with it.
Acceptance is a big thing in REBT, the three cornerstones of which are “unconditional self-acceptance,” “unconditional other acceptance,” and “unconditional life acceptance.” Your mother never told you she loved you? That’s her right as a “fallible ****ed-up human,” as Ellis would say, and often does. There are worse things in life than not being told you’re loved by your mother, he argues. Don’t “awfulize” such neglect; use rational thinking to understand that another person’s poor behavior has nothing to do with your sense of identity or potential for happiness. Ellis, an avid reader of philosophy in his teens, credits Epictetus with steering him toward the guiding principle that our emotional responses to upsetting actions—not the actions themselves—are what create anxiety and depression. And if we construct our unhappiness, then, REBT’s reasoning goes, we can also break it apart.
To help John avoid panic producing thought processes, I explained to him the “stop awfulizing” technique. I stated, “When you start to feel anxious emotions or panic arising inside, try to witness them. Just observe your panic. Try to step back and focus on the panic thoughts. What may have started them? What are the real fears that have started your awfulizing?”
John asked, “If I’m not supposed to panic, then why would I focus on those thoughts?” How might you have responded to John? I stated, “Instead of putting yourself in the role of a victim who is hopelessly caught in a web of despair, become the observer. By not engaging the mind in battle, by simply letting go and focus in another direction, your emotions will soon become quiet.”
John asked, “If I’m not supposed to panic, then why would I focus on those thoughts?” How might you have responded to John? I stated, “Instead of putting yourself in the role of a victim who is hopelessly caught in a web of despair, become the observer. By not engaging the mind in battle, by simply letting go and focus in another direction, your emotions will soon become quiet.”
“That other direction might be to imagine yourself as an effective problem solver, a person who is about to make some very important choices. You see yourself weigh all of the pros and cons of your treatment options.” John responded by asking, “What else can I do?”
I stated, “Sit down. Take a deep breath. Say out loud, ‘Many people live who have Cancer.’ Observe your emotions. Detach by separating who you are as a person from the emotional panic you may be feeling. You are not uncontrolled panic even though you may be experiencing panic. The two are very different.”
Source: OnlineCEUcredit.com
Source: OnlineCEUcredit.com
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