I am finally admitting it... I need help

[kry6808]

I have not been professionally diagnosed with OCD, but am beginning to think it is time to go get some help. Before I waste my time could you tell me if this is OCD or not, and if it is how do I tell my parents that I want to go get help (because they will not believe me and will only mock and ridicule me) I am 18 so if I really wanted to I go could go by myself. If that would be my option would they somehow be sent a thing from the insurance company saying I went to see a therapist or what is the deal there? I really appreciate anyone who replies.

For a period of time I have been exhibiting the following behavior...

1). When I pull into a parking spot I have to first touch the gears shift to make sure it is in park and have to say park, then I have to touch the heater and say off, followed by touching my lights button and say off then I have to touch the gas pedal and say there and same with the brake and say there. I have to turn off the car and turn it back on and do the same thing over again. Then when I get out I have to lock it make sure its locked, unlock it open the door make sure everything is off walk around the car, and I will do that at least 5 times and then when I get to the door of a building I have to go back and redo everything, even when it is freezing outside. - People do actually look at me, its very embarrassing, but I have to do it or I will not be able to get through my day because my head will be flooded with thoughts that the car may roll back and kill someone or my battery will die because everything is on and then I will have to call home and disturb someone.

2). Before going to bed I have to first turn of my TV it cant be last it has to be first. Then I have to take my glasses off and put them back on 5 times in a row and it has to be done before an odd minute, then I have to turn my alarm clock off, turn off the volume, turn back on the alarm clock and the volume. Then I have to turn off my light. Then get in bed. Get out of bed and touch the light to make sure its off, redo the whole alarm clock and glasses thing and then make sure everything is off in the house and everything is locked and everything is ok outside.- This can take me up til 90 minutes to do. If everything is not done in a precise order I have to start over from the very beginning. Theres also been times when I woke up from a deep sleep and realized my room is a mess (when in reality it isn't) and have to clean it or other wise I can't go back to sleep.

3). During the day I count letters of words until they reach the number ten on my finger. People watch me and look but I have to do it, if I don't something bad will happen.

4).I love touching things and even though what I told you may sound stupid, some one touching the lights just to make sure they are off, I HAVE TO DO IT even though I know it is stupid I can't stop. I have to leave early because I know what I will have to do, and if I don't something horrible will go wrong and it will be my fault. What I do at night is pretty stupid to and all last week I tried just going to bed and it didn't work, I couldn't go to sleep and just started crying so I just went ahead with everything and did it for 90 min. straight. People tell me I have OCD all the time...if I make a mistake I rip out a new piece of paper and start over, thing have to be in a certain order and done in a particular manner. I told my one friend about my touching the light switch thing to make sure it is off and she laughed at me and I told her that if it isn't off something may catch on fire.

I really need help....it's ruining my life...I am so emotional and cry all the time because I can't help what I am doing even though it is silly. I have all these horrible thoughts and vivid day dreams, and they are disturbing. Can someone please help me, I am so desperate.

I know this may seem scrambled but I can't explain it...it's all driving me crazy.

 

[Cavi]

Re: I am finally admitting it...I need help.

Kry...I can really relate to this!...I had OCD by the time I was 4 years old and it does drive you crazy!...I use to repeat phone numbers over and over in my head and if I messed up, I had to start all over again until I did it right so many times in a row...I would check my dresser drawer to make sure it was shut and I would look away, look at it, look away etc. until i was in tears...

When I was in school if I made one small error on a piece of paper, it got thrown away, everything had to be just so...After years of struggling with OCD, I finally got to the point where I realized it was ok that things weren't perfect...I would check my drawer and say ok, its closed and walk away...

I would sweat and think I had to go back but I fought the urge and said to myself so what, if its open...I can understand your anxiety about the car being in park, just try reminding yourself that you did check it...Check it once and than remind yourself that you did do it...It's tough, I know!...

For me it was like an addiction, an addiction I had to overcome, and step by step I did it...I am sorry your struggling with this...I really am...RIMH

 

[kry6808]

Re: I am finally admitting it...I need help.

Does anyone know if there is a difference between obessive checking, as a completly different disorder or is all part of OCD?

 

[Cavi]

Re: I am finally admitting it...I need help.

Its all part of OCD

 

[ThatLady]

Re: I am finally admitting it...I need help.

It certainly sounds like OCD to me, kry. You're right. You do need some help to learn to control these habitual behaviors; especially, if they're interfering with your life and causing you distress. There is help. There are medications and therapy that will help you to get where you want to go and put these irritating "needs" behind you.

If you are covered on your parents' insurance policy, the insurance company will send notification of any appointment and payment of costs associated with that appointment to your parents. Therefore, the best thing to do is to go to your parents with this problem and tell them the truth - that you're having a hard time with some things and you really feel you need help to learn to cope with them properly so your life can proceed in a productive way. I'm sure they'll understand and want to help you in any way they can.

Good luck to you, kry. Know you're not alone. Many people have similar problems and there is help and hope! :hug:

 

[Peanut]

Re: I am finally admitting it... I need help.

Hey Kry,

Sorry you have to go through this, I can empathize with the distress that OCD causes. I agree with the others that the checking is part of the main obsessive compulsive disorder. The good news is that it sounds like you are ready to take steps to treat it. I think medication (e.g. SSRIs) can significantly ease the distress but treating the symptoms behaviorally with therapy is the key. Specifically, exposure and ritual prevention therapy is a very effective form of treatment for OCD. I think some people are, in essence, able to treat themselves with this type of therapy, e.g. resisting the urge to carry out the compulsive behaviors. But, I think it would probably be extremely helpful to see someone, at least at first, to help you get some behavior therapy underway. There are some therapists who specialize in treating OCD too, so that might be worth looking into.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Re: I am finally admitting it... I need help.

Specifically, exposure and ritual prevention therapy is a very effective form of treatment for OCD.

Sometimes. Maybe even often. Not always.

 

[stargazer]

Re: I am finally admitting it... I need help.

I can relate to some of the things you were saying, kry6808, though maybe to a lesser degree. It seems to me I used to have to check to see if my car was locked, lights were off, etc., over and over again; mostly out of an irrational fear that I would forget to take care of these things unless I checked, double-checked, triple-checked, etc. Same thing with leaving the house, or anything that required locking up or turning a light off.

Somewhere along the line I stopped those behaviors, partly because I realized that I invariably was remembering to do those things anyway.

But I'm only relating in part -- yours sounds more serious. I don't know much about OCD except for that I have three friends who are OCD, and I've read the symptoms. My closest OCD friend doesn't take any medication but he goes to an OCD group, and he's also in recovery so he goes to meetings every day, for whatever that's worth.

Do people with OCD always have to take medications?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Re: I am finally admitting it... I need help.

Do people with OCD always have to take medications?

I think it helps for many or most people while they are learning ways to manage the symptoms. Some people are eventually able to decrease or discontinue medications. It depends on the severity, how much stress or general anxiety the person has in his or her life, etc.

 

[stargazer]

Re: I am finally admitting it... I need help.

I can't comment on my friend's severity of condition. He seems pretty normal to me, but he often alludes to the OCD affecting him in this way or that. For example, if he drives by a church and something negative happens on the car radio at that moment, he'll have to drive around the block again and again until something positive emerges from the radio at the moment he passes the church. That kind of thing.