kry6808
Member
I have not been professionally diagnosed with OCD, but am beginning to think it is time to go get some help. Before I waste my time could you tell me if this is OCD or not, and if it is how do I tell my parents that I want to go get help (because they will not believe me and will only mock and ridicule me) I am 18 so if I really wanted to I go could go by myself. If that would be my option would they somehow be sent a thing from the insurance company saying I went to see a therapist or what is the deal there? I really appreciate anyone who replies.
For a period of time I have been exhibiting the following behavior...
1). When I pull into a parking spot I have to first touch the gears shift to make sure it is in park and have to say park, then I have to touch the heater and say off, followed by touching my lights button and say off then I have to touch the gas pedal and say there and same with the brake and say there. I have to turn off the car and turn it back on and do the same thing over again. Then when I get out I have to lock it make sure its locked, unlock it open the door make sure everything is off walk around the car, and I will do that at least 5 times and then when I get to the door of a building I have to go back and redo everything, even when it is freezing outside. - People do actually look at me, its very embarrassing, but I have to do it or I will not be able to get through my day because my head will be flooded with thoughts that the car may roll back and kill someone or my battery will die because everything is on and then I will have to call home and disturb someone.
2). Before going to bed I have to first turn of my TV it cant be last it has to be first. Then I have to take my glasses off and put them back on 5 times in a row and it has to be done before an odd minute, then I have to turn my alarm clock off, turn off the volume, turn back on the alarm clock and the volume. Then I have to turn off my light. Then get in bed. Get out of bed and touch the light to make sure its off, redo the whole alarm clock and glasses thing and then make sure everything is off in the house and everything is locked and everything is ok outside.- This can take me up til 90 minutes to do. If everything is not done in a precise order I have to start over from the very beginning. Theres also been times when I woke up from a deep sleep and realized my room is a mess (when in reality it isn't) and have to clean it or other wise I can't go back to sleep.
3). During the day I count letters of words until they reach the number ten on my finger. People watch me and look but I have to do it, if I don't something bad will happen.
4).I love touching things and even though what I told you may sound stupid, some one touching the lights just to make sure they are off, I HAVE TO DO IT even though I know it is stupid I can't stop. I have to leave early because I know what I will have to do, and if I don't something horrible will go wrong and it will be my fault. What I do at night is pretty stupid to and all last week I tried just going to bed and it didn't work, I couldn't go to sleep and just started crying so I just went ahead with everything and did it for 90 min. straight. People tell me I have OCD all the time...if I make a mistake I rip out a new piece of paper and start over, thing have to be in a certain order and done in a particular manner. I told my one friend about my touching the light switch thing to make sure it is off and she laughed at me and I told her that if it isn't off something may catch on fire.
I really need help....it's ruining my life...I am so emotional and cry all the time because I can't help what I am doing even though it is silly. I have all these horrible thoughts and vivid day dreams, and they are disturbing. Can someone please help me, I am so desperate.
I know this may seem scrambled but I can't explain it...it's all driving me crazy.
For a period of time I have been exhibiting the following behavior...
1). When I pull into a parking spot I have to first touch the gears shift to make sure it is in park and have to say park, then I have to touch the heater and say off, followed by touching my lights button and say off then I have to touch the gas pedal and say there and same with the brake and say there. I have to turn off the car and turn it back on and do the same thing over again. Then when I get out I have to lock it make sure its locked, unlock it open the door make sure everything is off walk around the car, and I will do that at least 5 times and then when I get to the door of a building I have to go back and redo everything, even when it is freezing outside. - People do actually look at me, its very embarrassing, but I have to do it or I will not be able to get through my day because my head will be flooded with thoughts that the car may roll back and kill someone or my battery will die because everything is on and then I will have to call home and disturb someone.
2). Before going to bed I have to first turn of my TV it cant be last it has to be first. Then I have to take my glasses off and put them back on 5 times in a row and it has to be done before an odd minute, then I have to turn my alarm clock off, turn off the volume, turn back on the alarm clock and the volume. Then I have to turn off my light. Then get in bed. Get out of bed and touch the light to make sure its off, redo the whole alarm clock and glasses thing and then make sure everything is off in the house and everything is locked and everything is ok outside.- This can take me up til 90 minutes to do. If everything is not done in a precise order I have to start over from the very beginning. Theres also been times when I woke up from a deep sleep and realized my room is a mess (when in reality it isn't) and have to clean it or other wise I can't go back to sleep.
3). During the day I count letters of words until they reach the number ten on my finger. People watch me and look but I have to do it, if I don't something bad will happen.
4).I love touching things and even though what I told you may sound stupid, some one touching the lights just to make sure they are off, I HAVE TO DO IT even though I know it is stupid I can't stop. I have to leave early because I know what I will have to do, and if I don't something horrible will go wrong and it will be my fault. What I do at night is pretty stupid to and all last week I tried just going to bed and it didn't work, I couldn't go to sleep and just started crying so I just went ahead with everything and did it for 90 min. straight. People tell me I have OCD all the time...if I make a mistake I rip out a new piece of paper and start over, thing have to be in a certain order and done in a particular manner. I told my one friend about my touching the light switch thing to make sure it is off and she laughed at me and I told her that if it isn't off something may catch on fire.
I really need help....it's ruining my life...I am so emotional and cry all the time because I can't help what I am doing even though it is silly. I have all these horrible thoughts and vivid day dreams, and they are disturbing. Can someone please help me, I am so desperate.
I know this may seem scrambled but I can't explain it...it's all driving me crazy.