- Feb 11, 2006
I try to be normal but I'm not..I'm loosing it. i went and saw my doctor today and gave him some pictures I had drew of the abuse....I never should have done that!!! How could I be soooooo stupid!!!!! NOBODY is suppose to know!!! NOBODY!!! but he does no!!!! He nos cause I told him!!! How am I suppose to go on?? I'm driving home and thinking all these terriable things about my own death and how I left two dogs. I'm sooooooo tired of thinking like this!!!! i want my mind to be right!!!! I want it to stop thinking like I should have killed myself to stop what happened and I should kill myself now!@!!! I want to stop those thoughts but I CANT. I feel like I'm sitting here watching my mind deterate more and more and I just don't know what else to do. I'm soooo tired. I'm tired of pretending everything is ok when inside my mind its all screwed up.