I'm so sorry you are in pain like this. I can relate to how frustrating it all is, I felt like that on the weekend but you guys reminded me to be patient and that things will get better and I'm trying to do that...I hope you can too. It helped me to pull out the acceptance and committment therapy stuff,for some reason that helps more than anything else for me. The idea that I'm not my feelings, not my thoughts, that we are more than that, it comforts me so much. I hope it could do the same for you.