I don't know where to go next..is therapy the answer?

[aims1515]

Hi there,
So a little about myself..I am 22years old a student studying psychology believe it or not! I have had depression for the last 3 years since I started university. I am on anti-depressants and generally they have kept me quite stable but recently I have been feeling like crap. This is where it all gets a bit weird..it seems ny depression is either triggered by anxiety for an event of this weird obsession with other people, does anyone else get that?! When I am well I am friendly, confident and always smiling but when depression overcomes I become this little girl again obsessing about those in the media. It can be very specific one time it was an unknown actress but this time it is Kate middleton, newly married to prince William. I endlessly look at photos/articles to read about her. I don't really get it though because I don't want to switch lives with her it's just this overwhelming envy of her confidence and happiness. I find it really embarrassing to talk about, like I have a crush on her or something!

Anyway my main question is where to now? I know deep down that one of my main problems is constantly comparing myself to others and never coming up to their standard. I look for flaws in people just to make myself feel better as I feel so insecure, and I know this is not healthy.

I have many things to be happy about in my life, I am smart and always do well at Uni and have aspirations to become a clinical psychologist which I know I will achieve and am capable of achieving. I have lots of family support and love them very much. I have been told I am pretty and people are always surprised when I tell them that I've never had a boyfriend..and that's where my unhappiness lies really..I know I have to learn to love myself before anyone can love me but never having been in a relationship really gets me down and makes me feel pathetic and immature. It's like a viscious cycle because I feel crap because I'm not happy with ny life and not being in a relationship but I can't really consider being in a relationship until I feel happier!

Is there any therapies that anyone could recommend that would deal with some if these issues? I have tried counselling and had two different counsellors but I don't really feel it helped because I was just talking at them, I would like sone input into how to try and understand these issues and try to overcome them.

Thanks for reading this and sorry it is so long! So basically I am a young woman who I know is capable of many things if I just learnt to love myself and stop comparing myself to others (both those close to me and those in the limelight - especially those in the limelight because it is rediculous to try and compare yourself to them!) I have many things to be happy/proud about and I just wish I felt that way!!

Thanks again,
Aimee

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Welcome to Psychlinks, Aimee.

You indicate that you have been taking anti-depressant medication but are feeling worse lately. To begin with, medication alone is rarely the answer for depression. In almost all cases, you also need to acquire better coping skills and often to make personal or life-style changes. So to your question, "is therapy the answer?", I would say yes, it's almost certainly part of the answer.

It's also possible that after three years on the same medication you might benefit from a change to another anti-depressant. This happens for some people.

 

[aims1515]

Thanks for the reply..it's something I have been thinking about for a while, whilst I often feel better I am unable to put forward the right coping skills at times like these. So it's almost like a waiting game just seeing when I will feel down again, it would be much better to have some coping mechanisms in place. What therapies would you recommend? CBT? I have the doctors on tuesday so I am hoping I may be put forward for some sort of therapy.
Aimee

 

[David Baxter PhD]

CBT is often helpful for depression, yes. If you can find a therapist who doesn't ONLY do CBT, that might be preferable. You might also explore what's available at the university health center.

 

[Ryan Howes]

I'll make a pitch for the psychodynamic therapies as well. CBT is certainly a top choice for depression and managing intrusive thoughts and behaviors, but I also hear questions about relationships, identity and a search for why you feel what you feel. Psychodynamic therapists tend to focus on these issues. It's true that some counselors are less active in session than others, and you're looking for someone to play an active role in your treatment. Some psychodynamic therapists are passive (as they don't want to get in the way of you discovering yourself), but others are quite active. Intensive Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy (ISTDP) for example, is probably the most active conversation two people can have without fighting (and sometimes that happens too!)! I fully agree with David that checking the meds is probably the top priority, and then it is possible to find people who work from a variety of approaches. Wherever you look for a therapist, I'd make your request for active participation from the therapist known from the beginning, and if you don't feel like you're getting what you want from the experience, keep looking! Best wishes.