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Thelostchild

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Ya know that feeling you get when you want to SI. Well I'm having it right now. I'm the only person in my house. I have available things to use. I hate this my heart is racing and I'm having an anxiety attack. I think that I know why I'm having these feelings but I'd rather not say because they might be a bit explicit to say on here.
 

Halo

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Re: Help me I don't want to do this

TLC

I think that it is great that you at least know to come on here to talk about how you are feeling and wanting to cut. As you are presently alone in the house, is there anybody you can call to come and spend some time with you. A friend, family member, neighbour..anybody. If not, then how about calling a hotline (sorry I don't know any off hand but I could get you them if you need them) just to have someone live to talk to. Sometimes just having an ear will help and that way you can explain why you are really having these feelings.

Just some thoughts and suggestions. I hope that you don't cut and that you take care of yourself.
 

Halo

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Thanks Dr. B. I was going to go looking for that thread to post for TLC.

I hope that you are doing okay TLC and that you are trying really hard to resist the urge to SI. I know how hard it can be. Sometimes just taking it 5 minutes at a time helps for me.

Take Care.
 

healthbound

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Hey TLC,

I actually felt like that last night. I hadn't thought of it for a long time but the "urge" seemed to pop into my mind. This happens sometimes. I kind of fantasized about it for a while, but followed the fantasy right through to not being able to hide the bandages very well due to it being so hot and I couldn't really go around in long sleeves. And then I thought about the scars too. I really regret many of the times I self harmed because the scars are a constant reminder of what was going on in my life and what I was feeling when I did it.

I'm also really embarrassed of them. I feel like they're a walking advertisement for my past and/or problems.

Feelings can be SO intense sometimes. So can urges to self harm, over eat, drink, over sleep etc etc etc. And when you're "in it", it's difficult to remember that all feelings are temporary and therefore will pass whether you self harm or not.

Unfortunately, the scars are permanent though. I've thought maybe I could get some sort of tattoo to cover them up, but after researching it, I found out that not all ink will take to the scars. Plus, what's a better "look" on the inside of my arms...scars or a tattoo. Neither, really.

Hang in there TLC. You are not alone, you can do it and this too shall pass.
 

Halo

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Hi TLC,

I just thought that I would check in with you to see how you are doing this morning. I know that you were having a hard night and hope that you made it through okay. :)

My thoughts and prayers are with you.
 
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what i find that helps is going out for a walk to just blow off steam or punch into a pillow .. sounds stupid but once all the rage and feelings are out and you are just so sleepy do to walking or running or pounding into a pillow than not that you forget that youwanted to cut but it just doesn't get so much in need anymore cause you made another path and chose something watever it is and keep that as a rootine .. when i hade that feeling i would first look through my adress book than if that did not work i would go out side and run as fast as i could anywere basicly than if i still was really freeked out i would look into this boxe i have filled with old memories of when i was a little girl my teddies and my books .. pictures anything to remind me that i am aloud to be happy.. basicly once youget a rootine built the cutting won't just vanish or the feelings of it eigther but it will not be a firt resort you will have built this plan that when you are feeling that way you normally go out for a walk or call a friend the more you use that rootine the more you will be used ot it ..
yours trully ashley
just know thatwe are here for youand that you are not alone
 

Halo

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I think that some of the things that you posted are great suggestions. I also think that you are right saying that once you get into a routine, the cutting urge won't vanish but you will have other things in place to do before resorting to SI.

Great suggestions Ashley-Kate. :)
 

Thelostchild

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Well last night I took my serequol and a lorazapam, And I felt better afterwards. then I went to bed and my husband went on a horse ride last night at 8:30 and didn't get back until 10:00. When 11:00 clock rolled around he climbed in bed and started to rub my legs and yata yata :red: So I got up and got on the computer for a while after 30 minutes I went and took the other half of my serequol and of course it takes about an hour to kick in :mad: and I have been tired all day. I could barely keep my eyes open. But other then that Im fine. And I didn't do anything self destructive.
 

Rosa

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I'm glad to hear you didn't SI last night. I've found when I have those urges that it helps to come here and just read the information available. As I scroll through the pages I'm amazed at how much helpful information is here. Again, I'm glad you didn't hurt yourself last night.
In friendship
Rosa
 

healthbound

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I'm glad you didn't SI either, TLC. Way to go - you did what you needed to do and it worked. :goodjob:

(PS...Hi Rosa!!! :hello: I haven't crossed paths with you for a while!)
 

Rosa

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Heathbound!!!! Its so good to see you here. I actually left a post on Just Chat wondering how you are doing.
Rosa
 

Halo

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TLC - I am soooo proud of you for not being self-destructive the other night and getting through the feelings without having SI.

I am really proud of you although I know that it was hard. Good Job :)
 

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