I hope I can make this make sense

[whykat]

I'm not sure it makes sense to me .. I have been on a fast snowball headed for ,,well maybe you know the rest of that saying.

The thing is this, in 2001 my daughter Verna M. Lewis was killed in an accident when a drunk ran her off the road,, anyway this last March 31 my sons daughter was born and he named her Verna M. Lewis I really was happy about his choice until I held my grand daughter in my arms I feel in love at first sight but afterwards I became totally confused or something and it is sitting on my head like a ton of bricks. I even done something so off the wall as to take the photo of my daughter that the hospital took at birth and put beside my grand daughter and took a picture, and yes there is a strong resemblence , coloring eyes ect...

I know in my head and heart she is my wonderful sweet grand daughter and that my own sweet baby girl has passed on to continue her journey from this side , but some where between my head and my heart I am stuck .

On a side note my brother Larry was killed this last August 2007 when the semi truck with a load of oil fleid pipe he was driving went off a soft shoulder and down a 20 foot embankment. and my other brother Wade was benefisary to the life insurance and his wife decided that in order to keep me or Larrys kids and grandkids from expecting a share ( none of us even thought that we would or should have any of the money) so she made abunch of bull**** lies in Wades ear and we have not spoke since 2 days before larrys furnral ,it's like I lost both my brothers .

 

[ladylore]

I am really sorry about the loss of your daughter and your brother. What I can say about grief is that it can sometimes sneaks back up on you, as with the birth of your granddaughter. Grief can be like the layers of an onion, and at time especially around anniversaries feelings of grief can come back for a bit. Its normal. As time goes on, as you probably have noticed is that the feelings have changed into one that are more managable, still may be there but have changed.

As for your other brother - How did you find out that your sister-in-law said these things? It really may be a good idea to contact your brother to go for a coffee or something and clear the air. Or if that can't happen writing a letter and asking him what happened. That you miss him.

I have come to know that unless I hear things from the person that has suppose to have said them - I shouldn't believe it. I am not talking about being accusitory but inquisative. Maybe writing a letter without sending it would be a good start. Get all your feelings out. Sit with it for a bit and pick it back up after a week or so and see what has changed.

It is just too bad to see a relationship with your brother to end because of something that may have/may not have said and that he may not have had anything to do with.

I hope some of this helps. :2cents:

 

[SoSo]

Sorry to hear of your loss and other problems you have had to deal with. I hope that your heart heals and the wonderful joy of holding that beautiful baby girl helps make the journey easier.
Feistyeek:

 

[whykat]

You are so right about greif sneaking up you,

And about my other bother, yes his wife said those and did them ugly things, I have the emails from both her and my bother saved in a folder in my documents folder, I keep thinking I'm gonna delete that folder named 'emails from Wade and Patty' but can't bring myself to click the mouse, I have wrote him 3 letters and sent an 'in memory plaque that I made ,I made one for my 2 sons ,Larrys 3 kids , an aunt a cousin and Wade, wade has never acknowledged the letters or the in memory thing, and I'm sad to say ,when I lost my temper and got as ugly with Patty as she had been being with me , it took more than a week of her BS insulting emails , wade emailed me and said " Don't ever attact my wife like that again" ,I told him I could send him the emails I had been getting from her but he said he did'nt want them , that they were not going to allow me to try and make this about them,, he lives in Tenn. and I live in N.Mex. I have used up a whole 3 subject notebook of paper 'writing' my anger out and then burning the pages , I guess at this point I'm just very sad that it really looks like I have lost both my brothers for good. Larrys kids have all been on the receiving end of Patty's BS as well. She actully insinuated that Larry loved wade more than he loved his kids and grandkids,, and that is one thing that can be said about Larry he was a dad first last and always ,right up untill he clinbed up on that grandpa cloud ,, he had 6 grand daughters , and the only thing in this world that could shine as bright as his daddy love was his grandpa love,, at least those kids and grandkids will always have that his love and Patty can't touch that memory with no amount of ugly words, my brother larry was the kind of person that if he loved you you knew it without a dought. The memory of his love over shawdows most of wade and Pattys ugly,,

Thank you, and yes it is getting easier to see Verna my granddaughter instead of the two Vernas at the same time,, I guess there will always be a shawdow in the back of my heart but my daughter and I had a very close and loving bond and that will allow me to give my grand daughter as much love from a different part of my heart I think.