[Trigger] I remember ... my body remembers...

[Always Changing]

My major problem with my social worker

Do you know if your Social Worker has any qualifications in counselling\psychotherapy?? it could be that your social worker is not actually qualified but trying to be helpful to you while you haven't got a therapist as such. If not qualified or experienced in working with trauma therapy then it is possible that her approach which you do appear to have real difficulty with ( I would too actually) is perpetuating an already existing trauma issue and therefore could do more harm than good .. Even if she believes that she is trying to help.
Some social workers do have the experience to work as counsellors\therapists so maybe if you can find out what her qualifications\experiences are??

my :2cents:

 

[Raina]

She has experience working with trauma survivors but I think she works with people with other diagnoses too...

 

[Always Changing]

I think I would be leaving her asap.. I cannot get my head around ANY therapist telling you that you need to be in a relationship with a man in order to heal.
Can you check on that waiting list of other therapists? Her agenda for your healing and yours do not match imho from what you have posted.

 

[H011yHawkJ311yBean]

Oh yeah, that to me is a bit odd. Absolutely. Definitely sounds like a case of the "I wanna help but I don't know what the hell I'm talking about." lol Too much like my mother wanting to interfere with everything in my life and trying to get me to do things that are "for my own good" but really just make her feel better. lol If I had that therapist I would have left a long time ago! 8P But I guess if you don't have another one yet, you are wise to wait until you get one. She almost seems to think the same things "society" thinks: "It's not normal unless you're paired off/married," or "The relationship one has with Mother is Sacred," or "Families stick together and forgive and forget," "Fathers and daughters have special relationships." Pfft. Well, then if those are the conventions, there are probably a heck of a lot of unconventional people in this forum! lol I don't have a problem with that! lol Not everyone has the same path, and other folks should respect that. We'll all get to where we're going, we're just going at different paces, different directions, and the majority of us aren't going to be arriving at the same destination.

 

[Daniel E.]

And even if you wanted to socialize romantically, the focus would often be on socializing more in general as a way to meet more people. It does seem you want to socialize more, e.g. Group therapy. So that may be some common ground between you and your therapist in the meantime.

 

[locrian]

Hi Raina,

I agree with what the others have said: nowhere have I heard or read that being in an intimate/romantic relationship is absolutely necessary, whether or not it's desired. Unfortunately, popular culture (movies, TV shows, and songs) tend to give us the impression that you need to be with someone to be complete, or whole. You might want to ask the social worker for the source(s) of her information.

I'm sorry to hear about your difficulties, especially when you're at home by yourself. Maybe someone in the forum could suggest a crisis hotline or other phone number you could call to talk to someone when you're having those episodes. Seeing doctors or therapists several times a week (as you're doing now) may be helpful, but it would be great if you knew that support was available at any hour of the day or night. I do know that there are crisis hotlines for victims of rape. If you have one in your area and you call them, they might be able to refer you to the appropriate resources. Even if what happened to you wasn't that recent, you're still traumatized by it and dealing with the effects, so it's ok to call.

If you have a problem with being around men in a social setting, you can slowly and gradually ease your way into it with the help of a behavioral therapist. It doesn't mean that the goal is to marry or even date some man. But I would suggest that having a supportive male friend or two could be healing for you, when you're ready for it.