• Quote of the Day
    "For most people, transformation is slow. It happens without you realizing it."
    Marsha Linehan, posted by Daniel
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My T asked me this question "If I knew this was the last week of my life, what would I do"? I think she was surprised at my answer, when she asked it, I yelled out "Thank God"!!! Then said, I would sit on the curb and wait for the bus to pick me up and take me out of here!!

I have asked others this same question, since my T was surprised at my answer, and I was surprised that others wouldn't react that way.

What's so wrong with not wanting to be here? How would others answer this question?

After talking to my T about it she said some would want to get things in order for their children. That makes sense, but I don't have children, my husband works, I stay home. I don't really have anyone that depends on me, thank God. Some said they would want to get their family and loved ones together for their last days. I say screw my family, they don't care anyway.

Hmmmm........do I have an attitude problem??? This whole life on earth seems like a cruel joke anyway, so where does the bus stop, I'm ready.
 

Daniel

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"If I knew this was the last week of my life, what would I do"?

I would probably do some form of escapism to help take my mind off my impending death, such as watching TV, reading, or taking a vacation. I wouldn't be having long, dramatic conversations with family members like in the movie In the Gloaming.

I guess the question can help some people discuss their priorities in life.
 

David Baxter

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This was addressed in an episode of The Simpsons where Homer thought he only had 24 houirs left -- he made a list and then started checking them off the next day...
 

RBM

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I'd be sad.

I'm not a person that ever wanted to die but my mental problems and lonliness cause me to hate my life someties, but I have a tiny bit of hope stored away somewhere.
 

Daniel

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More info about the Simpsons episode where Homer believes he has 24 hours to live:

The premise of the episode is taken from the film D.O.A., where a man learns he has been poisoned.

After staying up all night, Homer survives and goes on to live his life exactly as he did before--watching TV and eating salty treats.

Homer's List of "Dumb Things I Gotta Do Today" Before Dying
1. Make list
2. Eat a hearty breakfast
3. Make videotape for Maggie
4. Have man-to-man with Bart
5. Listen to Lisa play her sax
6. Make funeral arrangement
7. Make peace with Dad
8. Beer with the boys at the bar
9. Tell off the boss
10. Go hang gliding
11. Plant a tree
12. A final dinner with my beloved family
13. Be intamit [sic] with Marge

Source:TV Tome

A good movie with a somewhat similar, existential theme is Groundhogs Day where Bill Murray's character learns to appreciate the little things in life and take his ego less seriously. A philosophy book with a similar theme is Very Little...Almost Nothing: Death, Philosophy, Literature by Simon Critchley. Like the movie Groundhogs Day, the book seems to value everyday existence more than notions of achievement and the demands of tomorrow.
 

healthbound

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I liked reading this thread.

One of the positive things I can derive from my traumas is to really appreciate life. Seeing and experiencing really sad and scary things has really made me aware of what truly matters to me in my life. I am grateful for this because I often live my life “as if it were my last week”. As a result I generally don’t stay “stuck” in situations that are not good for me or my son (eg a job or relationship).

However, this way of thinking/living does make me pretty intense about what I think is important. For me it is my son, first and foremost.

Secondly, and most recently I have decided that I would like to somehow contribute to improving the lack of financing, awareness and support for mental illness.

Although, after saying that, honestly, I think I would make arrangements for my son and just spend time with him. I’d also spend a small portion of time really thinking about any guilt I was carrying around and take corrective action by making amends to anyone I felt I needed to make amends to.

I’d want to leave proud and confident that I had done everything I needed to do so I could rest easy wherever I go.

Hmmmm….maybe I let go of some of that guilt now so if the time should arise, I can simply spend it with my son? I am happy about how much time I spend with my son right now, but I do have some guilt that I could get rid of :)
 

witsend

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1 week.........

If I only had one week to live. I'd thank my few close friends for being there. Then I'd enjoy my last few days, in fact, with the life I have had, even welcome the passing of the next 7 days with open arms!
 

^^Phoenix^^

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The simpsons rule!! (man i sound like the jocks you see on the movies)

witsend, I think I've been where it sounds you are... not particularly intent on death, but not to bothered about life either. I sometimes still feel this way, even though I am quite attached to my life, (i.e., fiance, school, etc). I don't think I would term your lack of emotion an attitue problem at all. If the way you feel is NOT making you or others around you unhappy, then just allow yourself to get through it. I don't think it is necessary for you to feel or think how other people deam normal. Just keep an eye open for signs that your feelings could deepen into something hurtful or physically dangerous to yourself.
 

healthbound

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I actually felt a bit bad after I posted because it's only been within the last 2 months that I've felt like I wanted to live.

I've been suicidal at 2 points in my life. After my sister died and within the last year and a half. I knew why I was feeling as awful as I was after my sister's death, but there was no major traumatic event that triggered my severe depression this last time. Sometimes life really sucks and sometimes there seems like a good reason for it and sometimes there doesn't.

Hang in there, Witsend. I don't know much about your experiences, but I do know what it's like to not enjoy life and not want to live.
 

witsend

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Healthbound

Thanks for your words of encouragement my friend! My original posting is still on here under depression--those same problems exist--only compounded daily......thanks again and I wish you a speedy process in your quest for happiness! It is so hard to focus on, I know, been there--BUT if we can concentrate that they (your sister) are in a much better place---it helps some, but it does not take away the degree of sadness which you feel, I'm sure. Focus on the good times and moments which I am sure you had together and find peace in knowing-that perhaps you were fortunate enough to have had her in your "inner circle"--stay in touch!
 

Daniel

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My favorite lesson from this thought experiment ("If you only had one week to live?") is that simple pleasures may be more meaningful by realizing they don't last forever:

...The activities of daily living--which we take for granded when the body is healthy--become of major concern and value when the body is dying...Simple everyday events--such as favorite foods, music, rides in a car, or views of natire--are symbols of life itself to the dying.

A Few Months to Live by Jana Staton, pg. 172
 

mochilero

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24 hours

A good friend once told me that she hoped that if she learned she was about to die, she'd change nothing. Her thinking was that if you are living right and happy,there would be nothing to change.

She was young, and I hope that such idealism didn't turn into disillusionment and biterness, as it often seems to.

Even happy people change what they do according to circumstances and what they know. As for myself, I would propbably spend my time looking for a way to not die.
 

cathyp

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Honestly, I would hop on a plane with my bf family and thats it and I would travel to places I wanted to go. Spend a lot of money and eat a lot of great fattening foods, and sleep like never before.
Knowing you are going to die in a week you wouldnt have to worry about bills, car payments mortgages, money, anything. Just enjoy the time I have left with the people who matter the most and have fun.
 

Meagan

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"If I knew this was the last week of my life, what would I do"?

I would first of all "QUIT MY JOB!" I would take my mom out west to see my brother, met with friends, make amends where needed, spend the rest of my time with my mother.

I do not fear death because I believe I'm going somewhere else and I will join others who passed before me. The only thing that I think would really bother me is leaving my mom. She and I are very close and I know it would be devasting for her to lose one of her children before her.
 

John

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healthbound said:
I liked reading this thread.

One of the positive things I can derive from my traumas is to really appreciate life. Seeing and experiencing really sad and scary things has really made me aware of what truly matters to me in my life. I am grateful for this because I often live my life “as if it were my last week”. As a result I generally don’t stay “stuck” in situations that are not good for me or my son (eg a job or relationship).

However, this way of thinking/living does make me pretty intense about what I think is important. For me it is my son, first and foremost.

Secondly, and most recently I have decided that I would like to somehow contribute to improving the lack of financing, awareness and support for mental illness.

Although, after saying that, honestly, I think I would make arrangements for my son and just spend time with him. I’d also spend a small portion of time really thinking about any guilt I was carrying around and take corrective action by making amends to anyone I felt I needed to make amends to.

I’d want to leave proud and confident that I had done everything I needed to do so I could rest easy wherever I go.

Hmmmm….maybe I let go of some of that guilt now so if the time should arise, I can simply spend it with my son? I am happy about how much time I spend with my son right now, but I do have some guilt that I could get rid of :)

i'm with you on that last week, i'd spent it with my sons, and get rid of my guilt. (some anger too) but with well chosen words, not violence :)

Daniel "value everyday existence more than notions of achievement and the demands of tomorrow" i love that part in your post :)

i have been doing that everyday since i had an overwhelming feeling of suicide some 36 days ago, i grinned my face off when i read it, "Thank You" :)
 

John

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healthbound said:
I liked reading this thread.

One of the positive things I can derive from my traumas is to really appreciate life. Seeing and experiencing really sad and scary things has really made me aware of what truly matters to me in my life. I am grateful for this because I often live my life “as if it were my last week”. As a result I generally don’t stay “stuck” in situations that are not good for me or my son (eg a job or relationship).

However, this way of thinking/living does make me pretty intense about what I think is important. For me it is my son, first and foremost.

Secondly, and most recently I have decided that I would like to somehow contribute to improving the lack of financing, awareness and support for mental illness.

Although, after saying that, honestly, I think I would make arrangements for my son and just spend time with him. I’d also spend a small portion of time really thinking about any guilt I was carrying around and take corrective action by making amends to anyone I felt I needed to make amends to.

I’d want to leave proud and confident that I had done everything I needed to do so I could rest easy wherever I go.

Hmmmm….maybe I let go of some of that guilt now so if the time should arise, I can simply spend it with my son? I am happy about how much time I spend with my son right now, but I do have some guilt that I could get rid of :)

i'm with you on that last week, i'd spent it with my sons, and get rid of my guilt. (some anger too) but with well chosen words, not violence :)

Daniel "value everyday existence more than notions of achievement and the demands of tomorrow" i love that part in your post :)

i have been doing that everyday since i had an overwhelming feeling of suicide some 36 days ago, i grinned my face off when i read it, "Thank You" :)
 
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Aint nothin wrong with not wantng to be here - as long as you don’t check out. You simply realize you cant polish a turd!
Life will not break your heart. It'll crush it if you let it though. It'll destroy you if you try to make it mean anything. That is the key - we are animals, soon we will be the same as road kill, it doesnt have to mean anything. Those who love life simply love life, not the stuff that accompanies it. I say live as though you’re gonna die - cos you are!! Life hurts, the trick is to not let the pain turn inward. Use it. I think about the meaning of pain. Pain is personal. It really belongs to the one feeling it. Probably the only thing that is your own. I like mine. The best revenge on life is to survive and find the simple pleasures. I think it’s funny half of life is fucking up - the other half is paying for it.
There are so many hammocks to catch you if you fall, so many laws to keep you from experience. I don't want to pass through life like a smooth plane ride. All you do is get to breathe and copulate and finally die. I don't want to go with the smooth skin and the calm brow. People will walk by and say, "Look at that drooling idiot. What a basket case." I will turn and say to them "It is you who are the basket case. For every moment you hated your job, cursed your wife and sold yourself to a dream that you didn't even conceive. For the times your soul screamed yes and you said no. For all of that. For your self-torture, I will have enjoyed ivery breath I take!" And maybe, the passers by will drop a coin into my cup.
Life is hard - We buy more yet own less. Faster cars yet less time. Wide screen TV’s yet narrow views.Bigger saleries yet shorter tempers.We have added years to our life, but not life to our years. We are better educated but know less, more information yet have less judgement. We collect items of value, yet reduce our own values. Can fly to the moon but cant cure prejudice. We have bigger dreams but smaller minds. Steep learning curves yet shallow character. We make beautiful houses but have broken homes. High bandwith internet commincation, yet communicate less. Envy money, but dont enjoy the money have. Health is the least envied untill it’s gone. A million pills for every simptom yet ignore for the cause. More experts, yet more problems. Fast food and less time to eat. We weigh more but our opinions carry less weight. Listen but dont hear. As miserable as life may be I hold it pretty precious...I love every second.

If I had one week to live I don’t know what I would do. But I can guaratee I won’t go with out a fight!
 

David Baxter

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Life will not break your heart. It'll crush it if you let it though. It'll destroy you if you try to make it mean anything. That is the key - we are animals, soon we will be the same as road kill, it doesnt have to mean anything.
I'll vigorously disagree with this part. So would Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist and concentration camp survivor who wrote Man's Search for Meaning. When you are able to identify, create, find meaning in your life, you can survive pretty much anything. Without that, you'll have great difficulty persevering.

Your life obviously has great meaning to you, Militia Man, whether you realize it or not. It is inherent in what you say and the way you say it.
 
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My life is important on a massive level. My point is life does not have to mean anything - the point is living itself. Many believe they are here for a reason - what if that reason was to simply enjoy the time you are here?
The Kurds believe if you look at anything long enough you will find beauty. My point is often the meaning is there is no meaning. we can over look the obvious. There is so much that is fantastic if you know where to look. When life haded me a lemon i was like "yeah, I like lemons - what else ya got?" I have had a tough and very bumpy journey through life - doesn't have to add up to anything at the end.
 

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