Is my daughter suffering from an anxiety disorder?

[jacie]

Help! I am getting so frustrated trying to help my daughter with her behavior. The main issue is her interaction with her classmates and other peers. She relates very well to adults and little children. But I can't understand what is going on with her neediness and clinginess towards her "friends".

Problem is, she has very few friends because of her obsessive behavior. She is ADHD, in 4th grade and 9 1/2 years old. This behavior has been worsening over the last few years and has really come to a head lately. Her teacher says no one wants to sit next to her because she won't quit talking to them and getting them in trouble. She begs and pleads for other children to play with her and gets angry when they won't. Is this a typical ADHD symptom, or could there be some underlying anxiety disorder?

I see other possible anxiety symptoms, but they're not the classic ones I read about. She (like her birthmother) is a compulsive talker and in need of constant attention. She has a lot of anxiety at bedtime, and tries everything in the book to get me to stay and lay down with her. I have been very firm about that, and usually she complains but falls asleep fairly soon after I leave. She definitely has a strong preference to be with me as much as possible, but is not afraid to go on play dates or sleepovers (although there haven't been any in a while). She has even spent a week at summer camp (with a close friend working there as her counselor) and a week with her cousins (where she complained constantly that no one would play with her).

What can I do short of prozac? Have I caused this behavior in some way? What have I done wrong?

Jacie

 

[Mari]

What have I done wrong?

You have probably done nothing wrong and any mistakes that any parent might make are past. My suggestion would be for you to speak with a professional as soon as possible - starting without your daughter involved. Maybe someone here can suggest who to start with. I first expressed concerns about my son when he was around the same age but my concerns were always dismissed. I was always told my son was fine and not to worry. I wish I had tried harder because although I continued to have concerns I did not know what to do or who to ask for help. Your situation is different than mine and maybe there is nothing more I could have done but my son died by suicide at age nineteen. I am not trying to worry you more than you already are by telling you that. I just think that children need all the love they can get and if they are struggling then there should be help available. :heart: Mari

 

[Retired]

What can I do short of prozac? Have I caused this behavior in some way? What have I done wrong?

Jacie,

You must not blame yourself for your daughter's behaviour, and investigate other options before choosing medication therapy.

Medication may be offered as an option at some point, but only after through investigation by a competent medical specialist.

she has very few friends because of her obsessive behavior. She is ADHD, in 4th grade and 9 1/2 years old

It sounds as though she may have already been evaluated and diagnosed..is this correct?

Has she been seen by a child psychiatrist or psychologist for a diagnosis?

Have you followed up on this diagnosis to investigate treatment options?

Her behaviour is evidently affecting her schoolwork, her social interaction and ultimately her quality of life.

In order for her to grow into a confident, self assured adult, it would seem important to get her into an effective treatment by investigating her treatment options.

What do you see as her options at this time?

 

[suewatters1]

Janice is your daughter on medication for her ADHD?
I am 45 years old and was diagnosed with ADHD 4 years ago. I wish I was diagnosed as a child and started treatment then. I am very talkative. I also have anxiety problems. It was worse before I was treated for my ADHD since then my anxiety has dropped by 75%. It is still a problem but it's a lot better then it was.
To me I believe in a person being treated for ADHD if it is causing problems in their life.
You say she gets other students in trouble that is all because of her ADHD. I found a forum that I go to sometimes for ADHD and there is even a DR who is a world expert on ADHD who you can asks some questions. I learn a lot from this forum.
http://www.adders.org

Good luck

Sue

 

[jacie]

My daughter took Strattera during 1st and 2nd grade, which seemed helpful but mild. But stomachaches forced us to discontinue that. She went unmedicated for 3rd grade, where things went downhill both academically and socially. We just started on the Daytrana patch (ritalin) which seems to rev her up in some ways, but also make her more focused and able to follow through and complete tasks.

The psychologists I've tried so far seem to think her only problem is the ADHD, and they see nothing "pathological". I will try again, but until now I haven't had any serious complaints from teachers, only form other parents. I sent my daughter to school today unmedicated, wondering if the ritalin is exa cerbatilng her anxiety. She does talk more on the ritalin, but in a more focused way. She can whip through her math worksheets in record time and with fewer errors. She complains simultaneously that she feels tired but can't sleep and wants more and more tasks to keep her busy. I find her more manageable on the ritalin, but maybe it has increased her talkativeness.

I feel most of her behavior is manageable, except for the way she can't get along with friends (or her siblings). She still sucks her thumb and carries a blankie with her (except to school). She has a lot of fears about robbers breaking into the house, hurricanes, mommy dying, etc. I see so many similarities to her birthmother that I am in despair and wonder what will prevent her from ending up like her, homeless and friendless, using people and abusing substances. But I so don't want to have the poor child on both ADHD meds and prozac, which I understand is the drug of choice for childhood anxiety.

I truly don't think she understands what she is doing wrong. I sometimes wonder if more discipline is the answer, but what do I discipline her for? Maybe I should push her away from her close relationship with me more. Any insight from other people out there would be so helpful. Are there anxiety therapies that work for children?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Are there anxiety therapies that work for children?

Yes but you would need to consult a child psychiatrist or child psychologist for direction. If she has a pediatrician, that might be a good starting place for your inquires.

 

[jacie]

Steve, I did want to also address the doctor issue. We had a child psychiatrist for a few years, but he is no longer on our insurance plan. I consulted a psychologist this summer, and after 4 visits she said she found nothing pathological and saw no reason for us to coninue coming. She seemed to think most of her fears were attention-getting behavior. My problelm with that conclusion is that the question remains, why does she have such a need for attention?

She has always gotten plenty of attention. Could that be the problem? Can a child get too much attention? Of course, the main reason she got so much attention is because she was so precocious and talkative, that other people just loved to interact with her. The older girls in the neighborhood loved to play with her when she was 1, 2 and 3 years old because she was so adorable. Strangers would stop me several times a day to comment on her beautiful hair, smile, etc. Does "too much" attention lead to an overwhelming need for it? She was never able to do anything by herself, always demanding someone to be by her side. Now this precocious child is no longer so cute and interesting. I feel like I am her only friend in the world.

She was initially diagnosed at age 5 by a psychologist who is no longer on my insurance plan, but maybe I should go back to him anyway. He found her to be a very interesting case, intrigued by her emotions being all over the place and up and down so much in the course of one hour. He wanted to do brain-mapping, which of course I can't afford.

You should also know that her birthmom was a drug abuser, cocaine and tranquilizers, as far as I know, although my daughter was not born "addicted", I'm sure she was exposed.

I don't know what doctors to consult with next. I know nothing about the ones on my insurance plan. There are 2-3 psychologists that are highly thought of and popular with parents, but they have 6 month waiting list and you need to pay $800 just to get through the door for an evaluation. Can you tell me what to look for, what questions to ask? Should I just stick with a psychiatrist at this point? Thanks for your help.

Jacie

 

[Retired]

I truly don't think she understands what she is doing wrong.

I believe this reference is in connection with your daughter and not her birth mother; and if it is, I don't believe a child exhibiting the behaviour you have described is engaging in intentional malicious behaviour.

If the diagnosis is correct, then her behaviour is involuntary and should not be characterized as good or bad..right or wrong.

Behavioural disorders are treatable and require treatment by specialized healthcare professionals.

You have mentioned a psychologist has been involved in her treatment, but have you consulted a physician such as child psychiatrist to work with her psychologist?

A physician can help in providing a more precise diagnosis, or even by referring her to a different specialist if need be.

Are there anxiety therapies that work for children?

Jacie, I am not a doctor, but I have some understanding of childhood disorders. There is no one size fits all fix, and may require some persistence on your part to find the right specialist who can correctly diagnose your daughter and establish the right therapeutic strategy.

Sometimes it could be a pediatritian, or a child psychiatrist or perhaps even a neurologist who can work with your psychologist. You need to find a doctor or clinic specializing in children's behavioural disorders in your area.

Children's behavioural disorders often involve a spectrum of co existing conditions which have to be treated as a whole.

Individual conditions may require specific therapies, but with the overall condition taken into consideration.

Focusing on just one aspect of your daughter's behaviour, such as her anxiety, or her difficulty to integrate with friends could be misleading and counter productive in preparing her for adult life.

Is there a physician available for her healthcare?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I don't know what doctors to consult with next. I know nothing about the ones on my insurance plan. There are 2-3 psychologists that are highly thought of and popular with parents, but they have 6 month waiting list and you need to pay $800 just to get through the door for an evaluation. Can you tell me what to look for, what questions to ask? Should I just stick with a psychiatrist at this point? Thanks for your help.

Is your psychiatrist a child psychiatrist?

 

[jacie]

Yes, he specializes in children. But he's no longer on my insurance plan, although I might be able to argue with the insurance company that there are no other suitable psychiatrists within a reasonable distance. But during the 4-5 years that he treated my son and daughter, he never once offered any insight into their problems. He prescribed medication, and talked privately with the kids for 10-15 minutes, but he never said anything to me in response to my concerns. He didn't treat me like some dumb over-concerned helicopter parent (like some doctors do), but just the opposite I felt like he would diagnose or prescribe whatever I told him to. I may have to go to a bigger city to find someone who can help. There are others affiliated with our local community mental health center, but they are mostly foreign and/or seem to confine themselves to prescribing meds.

Bottom line, do you think I'm off track in thinking my daughter has serious anxiety issues in addition to ( or maybe contributing to) her ADHD? Do you think I can find a psychiatrist who can treat both, and not just by prescribing medication? Would I be better off rilght now starting with a psychologist? Can you tell me anything about anxiety therapy and how it works, so I at least know what I am talking about when I search for the right doctor?

p.s. this doctor is pretty much the only recommended one in my area, so my pediatrician won't be of much help. She takes her kids there, too.

Thanks.

Jacie

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Can you tell me anything about anxiety therapy and how it works, so I at least know what I am talking about when I search for the right doctor?

I can't tell you much specifically about treatment of anxiety disorders in children since I'm not a child psychologist. However these might help:

Child and Adolescent Depression and Anxiety Tool Kit


Anxiety Disorders in Children - Keep Kids Healthy Conditions

Anxiety in Children by Michael Conner, Psy.D

Getting Help - Children and Teens

MedlinePlus: Anxiety

Anxiety - Children's Mental Health Matters

Anxiety Disorders: Mental Disorders in Children and Adolescents: Merck Manual Professional

Bottom line, do you think I'm off track in thinking my daughter has serious anxiety issues in addition to ( or maybe contributing to) her ADHD? Do you think I can find a psychiatrist who can treat both, and not just by prescribing medication? Would I be better off rilght now starting with a psychologist?

A child psychiatrist can certainly treat both ADHD and anxiety - perhaps a starting point would be to make sure he is aware of your observations regarding her response to Ritalin and see what s/he says. On the other hand, many psychiatrists really don't practice psychotherapy these days, preferring to focus more on medication issues - that's where a qualified child psychologist might be more beneficial.