Can I give my therapists single pregnant daughter a gift of money

[Hunter]

I just found out that my therapists single daughter has moved home. No one will hire her because she's six month pregnant. She put on Facebook that she is desperate and broke.
I would like to gift her $ 1000. But am wondering if it's appropriate. I would not want my therapist to get upset with me for offering it to her.
I've come into some money and just want to pay it forward to someone and I know she's in a desperate state. Your thoughts please.

 

[Daniel E.]

It would not seem very appropriate to me since it would (in my view) effectively be a gift to your therapist, especially since it seems his daughter is living with him now.

Do you still owe your therapist for any late bills? Or have they been cancelled or paid off?

 

[Hunter]

Everything is paid. And he's paid for the next 6 months

 

[gooblax]

It doesn't sound appropriate to me either, because it introduces variables outside the therapy itself.

Did you already know the daughter before you started seeing this therapist? If not, how do you know what she's writing on Facebook?

 

[Hunter]

No..never knew her before. She posted a pic on Facebook saying she was desperate for money for the upcoming baby due in December.

 

[Daniel E.]

From the "archives":

Sensitivity Is a Gift: How to Thrive with a Bleeding Heart

You do not have to be the suffering-holder and pain-keeper.

Just because you are acutely aware of the pain and emotional nuances of those around you doesn't mean you need to take it on and make it your own. In fact, you really can't. It'll bring you down with them.

There is a beautiful word in the English language known as boundaries. Compassion is also a beautiful word. Boundaries and compassion can, in fact, co-exist. The way to be compassionate and have boundaries at the same time is to show your love and caring for others without taking responsibility for their pain and problems by trying to fix them.

 

[gooblax]

Are you "Facebook friends" with your therapist and it showed up on his page? Or are you Facebook friends with her (too)? I'm just wondering, because to me it's quite strange that you are able to see her posts and get that much information (I'm not judging, just trying to understand).

If you're moved to pay it forward, perhaps it would be a nice idea to donate it to a charity that you believe in rather than complicate matters with your therapist.

 

[Daniel E.]

And/or pay it forward to yourself. Keep the $1000+ saved somewhere so that you have some financial indepdence from your husband. That is the advice I have gotten before in this forum (and from my mother) when I have had bitter arguments with my husband.

 

[Hunter]

I am friends with a lady who is her mom's best friend. The daughter who is pregnant put it all on Facebook.