Cloudy Rainbow
Member
For as long as I remember I’ve been having these on and off periods of mood switches. It is like now, I am happy, I believe in the future, I enjoy doing my chores and work and I laugh and tend to the house and even enjoy my hobbies and the company of others and this has been going for about three days but, I know that soon enough I’d be down again, lose faith in life and think that everything is going wrong and that I’m so lonely and no one likes me and stuff like these. Sometimes I get suicidal thoughts, I isolate myself in my room and drown in my tears, I can cry for as good as continues days and stop eating healthy meals (might stop eating all together) and have lack of sleep due to flashbacks, this will go on for about 3-4 days and then my mood switches back to the happy, confident mood.
Is this a kind of depression or am I going crazy? My boyfriend is getting tired of it and he just says that I think too much, do I? Because what once looked good and not so important can suddenly bring me down below earth with sadness and pain and it seems that lately I’m avoiding his company because he’s been so tired and can’t talk to me the way he used to. Do I have depression or is HE the reason of it? I had this before I met him but now it seems every time I lift myself up, talking to him brings me down.
I try to smile, lift myself up by being determined to get out of that negative mood and it does work but it doesn’t last because I go back to my negative thinking after few days. It is so frustrating and negative for both my life and health.
I’d have gone to therapy if I could… I just wish I could.

Thank you for any help.
Is this a kind of depression or am I going crazy? My boyfriend is getting tired of it and he just says that I think too much, do I? Because what once looked good and not so important can suddenly bring me down below earth with sadness and pain and it seems that lately I’m avoiding his company because he’s been so tired and can’t talk to me the way he used to. Do I have depression or is HE the reason of it? I had this before I met him but now it seems every time I lift myself up, talking to him brings me down.
I try to smile, lift myself up by being determined to get out of that negative mood and it does work but it doesn’t last because I go back to my negative thinking after few days. It is so frustrating and negative for both my life and health.
I’d have gone to therapy if I could… I just wish I could.
Thank you for any help.