Is this grief normal??

[sunset]

I am talking about how upset I still am, over the death of Steve Irwin, the crocodile hunter.
I dont know him, and never met him, but I feel like I lost a member of my family, or a good friend. Why is that?
It is one of the first things that come into my mind when I wake up, and also when I go to sleep, not to mention how many times I think of him during the day. Is seems so unreal to me, and I didnt even mourn like this when my father died.
Can anyone explain that to me?

 

[Into The Light]

Re: IS this grief normal??

just a thought but maybe you are projecting old grief onto steve irwin? i think i read somewhere that sometimes we don't process our past griefs and then one day there is another loss.. and you then get hit with the grief from all past losses all at once. do you have unresolved grief that may be coming out in this form?

 

[ThatLady]

Re: IS this grief normal??

I agree with baseballcap on this one. The media has been remembering 9/11, so we're triggered, anyway. The most recent loss covered heavily by the media is that of Steve Irwin. It doesn't surprise me that he would become the surrogate focus for those who were traumatically effected by previous tragedies.

 

[sunset]

Normally, I would agree with what you both said, but there have been other deaths recently that didnt affect me like this, and these were people I know..

Any other ideas?

 

[ThatLady]

I don't know that we choose who we mourn at times like this, sunset. It's almost a visceral thing. It just happens. I think part of the reason is the media coverage of both events. It tends to focus our minds on those events, as opposed to events that may be closer to us, but with which we're not bombarded by the media.

Another factor to be considered is that it's not as emotionally charged to focus on the loss of someone we didn't know as it is to focus on the loss of someone we did know. By grieving for someone we didn't know, who might have been a public figure but who who was not close to us in a deeply emotional sense, we can grieve sorta by proxy. It releases emotion, but doesn't force us to deal with the difficult loss of someone we truly loved as a part of our lives.

I hope that makes sense. It's a kinda convoluted process.

 

[Superiority Tails]

Even though it's strange to hear this. I think you're a good person to feel the way you do. I also loved Steve Irwin and I felt bad that he died. Good luck

 

[Rosa]

sorry to hear you are so touched by Steve Irwin's sudden death. i tend to agree with TL with what she said, but wanted to add that it could be his young age and the loss that represents-or could he have been close to your age??? perhaps its the sadness of seeing his young family and knowing the pain they must be going through. His death was quite a loss for all of us.
In friendship
Rosa

 

[sunset]

Thank you all for your responses.. I am still not sure why I feel as much as I do, and I dont think I can totally figure it out. I can guess and all the reasons you mentioned could be a part of it. I just dont know.
I have always been very sensitive, and to me its a detriment. Plenty of other people were as upset about Steve Irwin as I was, so I dont think its weird, its just how long it goes on for me. When watching his memorial on TV, just looking at his wife, or his friend wes, or his kids, I am in tears. If I could just cry, then get over it, that would be healthy, but I cant get it out of my head or thoughts.

Here is a man who is a good man, and his death was so senseless, and as his wife mentioned.. "stupid".

Then you see this nut in Lancaster, who thinks its a good idea to line up little amish girls and shoot them because he had a problem 20 yrs ago. If he was so unhappy, why not just shoot himself?? Why kill innocent children?? Did he not think his own family would have to live with this hanging over their heads for the rest of their lives??
I dont get it...

David, any insight to a person who can do something like this?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

There is no one-size-fits-all answer to mass murders and murder-suicides, unfortunately. You might have a look at this thread on the Montreal shootings where we were discussing related issues.

 

[sunset]

Thx Dr B..

In reading that thread, I felt a little bit better about my 4 and 6 yr old nephews. I wont buy them any weapon toys either, and like you said, they always find sticks or whatever and turn them into "guns" and "swords". I worry about that a lot, because that is all they seem to want to play, but I am hopeful they will outgrow this...