Just Joined

[vonne]

:friends: So glad I found the site; I need some advice on how to deal with a grown stepdaughter, (36yrs. single mum.) who tells her father she likes me, but then proceeds to talk about me in a negative way. I married this wonderful widower just one year ago.

She has just been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, continually borrows money from him which she doesn't pay back, and she is often rude to me. I have tried to be nice to her, but it is very trying. Any suggestions would be very welcome.

 

[white page]

Re: Just Joined,

:welcome2:vonne to psychlinks,

I am sorry that the relationship with your step daughter is difficult.
Is your step daughter seeing a therapist and has she taking any medication for her disorder at this time?

I feel for both of you, a new start in life which is troubled by these worries.

Your step daughters rudeness to you may be part of her disorder, I am sure she does like you in spite of this , have you talked to her about this directly?

 

[forgetmenot]

Re: Just Joined,

Hi Vonne welcome to the site. You are in a tough place. I too hope your step daughter is getting professional help for her sake as well as her child. This illness untreated will play havoc on all around her. I would hope maybe her father and you could talk with her together and get out what exactly her issues are she may not even know. I wish you all the best mary

 

[NicNak]

Re: Just Joined,

:hithere: Vonne. :welcome: to Psychlinks

Glad you joined us.

 

[Halo]

Re: Just Joined,

Welcome to Psychlinks Vonne :welcome2:

Please make sure you review and familiarize yourself with the http://forum.psychlinks.ca/rules.php and I look forward to seeing you around the forum.

With respect to the situation with you step-daughter you may want to take a look at the following forum Family, Friends and Colleagues.

 

[Meg]

Re: Just Joined,

Welcome to Psychlinks.

There is some interesting and useful information in the borderline personality disorder forum. I hope you will find it helpful and I look forward to seeing you around.

 

[ladylore]

Re: Just Joined,

Welcome Vonne

 

[Charity]

Re: Just Joined,

Welcome, Vonne!

I feel for you, genuinely I do. I have Borderline Personality Disorder myself, and I know what I've put the people in my life through during my rougher patches. There is indeed a lot of good info in the BPD section, and there are also a lot of websites specifically targeted at the families of those with BPD. I know it can be hard to separate the person from the illness... I think the more you learn about it, the better you'll be able to understand why she acts as she does, and that it doesn't necessarily mean anything at all against you.
Wishing you the best,
Charity

 

[vonne]

Thank you all for your welcome and kind comments.
My stepdaughter has only recently started seeing a therapist, she was not convinced she needed one.

I have suffered with major depression myself for over 20 yrs, so I do understand that side of it. I have looked into BPD but could not find much info. about it, so hopefully that will change now.

 

[vonne]

I am understanding a little bit more about BPD now, and can see some of my stepdaughter's behavior is a result of that.
Unfortunately she seems to be wanting to come between my husband and I, by putting me down at every chance. She was keen for us to marry, but does not seem to still think that way. ( there are 3 more siblings, I don't have any problems with them).
Am I wrong in thinking that my husband should put my needs and time with me ahead of thinking he should do so much for her?