Just shaking with anxiety

[Cat Dancer]

I don't know why. I had some really bad dreams last night, like the house was on fire and I was frozen with fear. I stopped drinking caffeine a few days ago hoping that would help. I'm trying to eat better. I've been sticking my head out the door to breathe in the cold air trying to ground myself. I take my medication like I'm supposed to. I take the anti anxiety medication. It's so constant. I think I'm trying to deal with it in a healthy way. I just feel so so awful, sick, and it's messing up my digestive system I think. Yesterday we buried my cousin and I'm struggling with Christmas anyway. And I was trying to break up a cat fight and got bitten by one of them. I cried after that because I just feel like I can't do anything right. I don't know. I don't want to feel this or be this way. No one would.

---------- Post Merged at 09:46 AM ---------- Previous Post was at 09:27 AM ----------

Why am I so negative? Why can't I just focus on the positive things in life and be happy that way? My cousin was a wonderful, happy person, always smiling. She had the most beautiful smile. I want to be like that. Why can't I make myself be like that?

 

[GDPR]

Sorry you're struggling CD.

It sounds like you're trying and doing all the things you should. That's all you really can do. Instead of beating yourself up for the negatives,just try to focus on the positive things.You already said you think you're trying to deal with it in a healthy way,and that's definitely positive.

Maybe tell yourself some of the really nice,caring and comforting things you tell me when I'm struggling.

 

[Cat Dancer]

Do you all think it is ok if I tell myself I'm doing the best I can for now that would be ok? Or would that be giving up?

 

[GDPR]

I think it would be fine and I don't think it would be giving up at all.I think you should cut yourself some slack and just take it easy and do some relaxing things instead of fighting so hard to not feel the way you are.

The way you're feeling will eventually pass. You're already doing the best you can,and that's all you can do.

 

[Cat Dancer]

I'm just still struggling. I can't run from it. I can't get away from it. I can't sleep to escape it because I have scary dreams and when I 'm awake it's just inside me, hurting.

 

[GDPR]

Can you get busy doing something?Anything,like even cleaning out your sock drawer?Or watch a movie,or go for a walk?

 

[Cat Dancer]

I have to take the kids out for something and I'm hoping that will help distract me and not make it worse.

 

[GDPR]

I hope taking the kids out helps.

I got out of the house,hoping it would help calm my nerves today,but here I am,back home again. It actually did help though because after being out in town with all the frenzied,rude,road-raging,greedy,obnoxious,self-centered Christmas shoppers and almost panicking in the middle of a store,I was so glad to be back home that I feel much better now!

 

[Cat Dancer]

It is stressful out there. I am glad you are feeling better.

 

[GDPR]

So did you take the kids out? How did it go? Are you feeling any better now?

 

[Cat Dancer]

I did take them out and it did get my mind off the anxiety. I am feeling a little better now. Thank you.

 

[forgetmenot]

I am sorry you are struggling so CD it is hard to not be anxious with everything that is going on now for you. The funeral of someone close to you the holiday stress so it is understandable you anxiety would be higher I am glad you are taking your children out and i hope in doing so the distraction will decrease the anxiety some.
Hope you can talk to your doctor or therapist sometimes it helps to talk to someone who can reassure you that you will be ok hugs

 

[MHealthJo]

Thinking of you CD. You definitely definitely should realise that if you are taking your medication and trying a couple of things that you can try, you should realise that that is great and it is not 'bad' or a 'failure' if you still feel bad. I mean it is really hard still to feel bad, but you don't need those hard feelings AND the feeling that you are at fault and you are not trying hard enough and are not good enough and it is your fault that you feel bad.

Feelings aren't a failure or a fault. It is ok and normal to have really difficult feelings. This time of year is extremely hard for millions of people especially, for all kinds of different reasons. Please don't look at feelings in an unrealistic self-judgmental way. xx

 

[Cat Dancer]

Today I am alone and I want to cry. The anxiety is just bad. I feel like I am choking. I think it's ocd, but I feel like I did something really bad to deserve this awful feeling.

 

[forgetmenot]

It is OCD hun and you only deserve kindness and understand CD i am sorry your are so sad hugs

 

[MHealthJo]

Nope, you didn't CD. That's not how this world works. Sorry you are struggling through this.