Left broken after breakup

[butterfly90]

Hi everyone. I've been in various kinds of relationships where it mostly ended bad, with a big fight and I could never be friends with the exes. My only problem was I usually ended up with guys who were never worth my time.

This time was different. Somewhat a year ago I met the sweetest, most caring, most wonderful guy one could wish for. We had an amazing relationship where we could be friends and still have something more. We could talk about anything. He was my mentor, I was his, and honestly, we never thought anything bad would hit us. This lasted for 5-6 months. For 2 of those, we were together everyday. Then he had to leave, so the relationship became long distant. We saw each other every month, spent weekends together, the holidays and so on. Then something in his life changed. He went through some troubles that had nothing to do with our relationship. I supported him through out all of this but he became more distant from me. Obviously, we started fighting which ended up in a break up. He broke up with me, claiming we were "different." We still loved each other so the break up only went on for about a month and a half and then we decided to give it another try. That's when he stopped showing his emotions to me. He stopped saying he loved me and told me that he wasn't sure about our future. When we broke up for the second time, I asked him to tell me he didn't love me for closure, but he said he wouldn't. Does that mean that he does? If he does, why wouldn't he tell me?

He is not an ordinary guy. If he was, I would have never posted this.

I'm left very heartbroken. I feel like he was my perfect guy and now I can't trust anyone...This is not the first time it has happened to me, but it's the first time I'm left highly dissapointed of someone. We remain "friends" because we know we will miss each other if we didn't. Am I making the right decision here? or just fooling myself? Is this the end, or could there be something...ever?

I would appreciate any kind of support...I really don't know how I go on...

 

[ladylore]

Re: Left broken after break up

Break-ups can be very hard especially when you have the type of feelings you hold for this guy.

If he is going through a hard time at the moment maybe just give him a bit of space and if you can be his friend, as your already doing.

And if you need space to deal with your feelings, take that space. It's ok to feel hurt or what ever other feelings you have.

Do you have some friends that you are close enough to share your feelings with? How long were to the two of you together?

Relationships do change. They settle and the intense 'in love' feelings do fade. But that is where deeper intimacy is built. All couples go through rough spots. Try to take it one day at a time.

I wish I had a magic wand to take your pain away. It seems like everyone I know, including myself have had a bad break-up once or twice in our lives. It may or may not be the end of your relationship. I don't know. Has he shared with you what his is going through?

Hope some of this helps.

 

[butterfly90]

Re: Left broken after break up

Thank you for your support.
I have friends I share this with, but a lot of them have their own boyfriends and I feel very bad revealing the fact that I just lost mine We were together for almost a year, been friends for longer. I know everything he's gone through but lately all of his answers wind up as 'I don't know' or 'I can't' or anything that's just as negative and helpless...

He needs time, I understand that. But I also need him...

 

[forgetmenot]

Re: Left broken after break up

Hi butterfly90
I am sorry your suffering about this breakup. I know it must be very hard for you but just hang in there and give this guy some room for now. Try to spend some times with your friends and to continue to post on the forum. We are here for you. mary

 

[Shanny]

Hi, I read this and it hit home truly. I believe that love survives if it is real! All relationships have up's and down's but it is up to you how you want them to remember you isn't it??? Love can't always come in the shape and form as we want, and the universe has it's on time and plan for us. We can't make someone love us, or want to be with us can we. But we can be who we were all along, and if we really loved them then we need to continue to show them this through friendship I think, as love isn't about paybacks or treating someone like they never mattered when they do, right!!

Hope is sometimes enough to forgive, learn from things, and do what you can to be kind to us but to also keep loving them even if only as a friend, because letting go for the greatier good of another is to me in my heart what it really means in loving someone. I believe when you hold your head high, and still show them love and respect even as a friend, then it allows them to to see you without all the pressures for awhile and then perhaps your now friendship and caring will be the thing that helps him revisit the notion that he perhaps is wanting more and ready for more with now regrets letting go of the best thing he ever had, You............. Shanny